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Dealing with housework......... :S


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  #1  
May 12th, 2010, 01:25 AM
Juneleigh's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Olds, Alberta
Posts: 158
My boyfriend couldn't care less about cleaning up after himself. EVER. In the bathroom, the kitchen is always disgusting after he cooks or makes something, clothes in the middle of the floor and me tripping over his shoes in every room of the house. This is really getting on my nerves because I'm worried about when the baby comes, and I'm busy and tired, I need help from him. I've tried everything to get him to start being a bit more tidy. He doesn't even try. And then I just end up being ****** and mean when I realize that I'm STUCK in this mess. It's not just a little problem, it's serious because it's EXHAUSTING and I'm fed up and crying over everything that I have to do tomorrow so the neighbours won't complain (recycle etc) all while I'm in my first trimester and super tired all the time. What do I do? Will he ever get better?
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  #2  
May 12th, 2010, 08:27 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
Sounds like you need to sit him down and tell him how you feel. Be prepared if your going to give ultimatums to be ready to follow through on whatever you say your going to do. Its not fair that he is not helping you out. You are not his maid or his mom, and he should show you enough respect to at least pick up his own mess.
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  #3  
May 12th, 2010, 03:51 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Southern California
Posts: 389
No he will not get any better. He won't change. Men don't change. If he sees you upset now and crying over it and he KNOWS it upsets you now and doesn't change, then he doesn't care and has no plans or reasons to change in the future. Having a baby means nothing either.

You have to decide if this is something you want to live with or not. If not, you give him the ultimatum and follow through like the PP said. Something you probably should have thought about before getting pregnant. You think it's tough now, wait until you are cleaning up after another perosn in the house, the baby. Talk about being overwhelmed. I know the feeling of what overwhelmed is like. I work fulltime, do everything and have 1 child. I don't dare have another because I can't handle the extra work load. My DH does step up and do some things more that he used to not do before like actually cook dinner and does laundry, but the man is almost 50 for petes sake! But when he cooks, he makes a huge mess that is almost not worth it to me because I have to clean it up! He won't do both. He will clean the kitchen maybe once over the weekend which is a huge help, but really, it's his mess too. But I made a choice to only have 1 child because I couldn't handle how much of a workload everything is on me working full time, having a child, dinner, homework, karate lessons, bath, no time for myself, cleaning and so forth. They may change a little, but don't count on it. So make decisions based on what you KNOW not what you hope he will end up chaning into. Only take on what you can handle.

Good luck to you.
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Nicole ~ Mom to one crazy little girl ANNA!
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  #4  
June 5th, 2010, 01:02 PM
Can't wait to be a Mommy!
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
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Hm, I really think it may have to do with his age. I am not sure how old he is, but I do believe it's more likely that he *may* change if he is younger. Not saying that he will, and certainly don't ever expect him to. You have to decide what you can live with and what you can't.

That being said, I feel like I could have written your post myself (minus the being PG part). My boyfriend and I are constantly having this "battle" and I always feel like the bad guy when I call him out on it. It stinks.

I don't have any advice for you, just hugs! I hope things get better soon.
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