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Yes it is one of my pet peeves when people tell me or someone else that they are being over-sensitive. If something bothers someone then it bothers them, they can't really help the way they feel. Usually when they ARE overreacting, they realize it eventually anyway. That was sort of of the subject but having said that, no I don't think you're being over sensitive.
Family is usually who we love and care about the most therefore they are the ones who can make us the most upset/angry/hurt etc. That really stinks but they are also the ones that can make us feel the best too.
About your shower....My shower is a big mess right now too (because of my friend being selfish but that's a long story). I basically told my mom that I want her to help my friends with the shower (so that I know things are moving along). My mom mentioned it being tacky for the mother to throw the shower but I personally think that is "old school". I don't really see what is tacky about it but that's just me. I know it hurts you the way your sister acts and this probably won't help very much but for what it's worth, your sister is obviously just a little insecure and jealous of you. The joke about the lesbian thing was honestly probably said out of jealousy. By the time you see this, you will probably be done with the graduation thing and hopefully feeling better and not worse!