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  #1  
May 7th, 2006, 04:49 PM
Wendie
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Posts: n/a
Well I got married in October of this year. My husband and I were expecting our first child. We both wanted to wait until the baby was born to get married. However, both of our families pushed us to get married sooner. We were told that it would be easier on our son... Well thing aren't always so peachy. You know, my husband and I have our little arguments. We are like any other married couple. We bicker about housework, laundry, and taking care of our son. You know, its never anything big. Other than one situation when we had a really bad arguement, things are usually pretty good. However, my mom and her family have decided to wage war on my marriage. I know it sounds like they are just concerned, but they are constantly doing it. Everytime I turn around one of them is calling to ask if I am okay. They completely isolate my husband when they are around, making him feel uncomfortable. Plus, they tell all of our other family how unhappy and messed up my marriage is. I really am tired of it, but if I say anything then its just me being defensive. They actually use this as a testament to how bad my marriage is. The truth is that my husband doesn't like my mom. She hit me when I was pregnant and he can't forgive her for it. I definitely understand his perspective but I still talk to her on occassion. I really wish she would stop putting me in the middle. Its gotten so bad that she is starting to tell people that I am being abused (which is absolutely ridiculous). I have family members calling all the time to ask me what is going on. She has even threatened to call DCHS on my husband because she thinks he is isolating us from my family. I am trying to figure out where this is coming from. She is never here to know. I think that is the problem. She isn't invited over as much as she wants so she is starting trouble. I think it is sad that this is all coming out over jealousy. I am about to just throw my hands up and tell her to get away. I know this is long and probably boring but I really needed to get it out.
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  #2  
May 7th, 2006, 08:51 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 725
I'm sorry that you have to go through this Your mom hit you when you were pregnant? That is terrible... PM me whenever you need to vent..
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  #3  
May 8th, 2006, 12:27 PM
mrobinson
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Posts: n/a
Quote:
She hit me when I was pregnant and he can't forgive her for it.[/b]
Unfortuntately, I think you need to support your husband on this. I think being open to your mom about it will help the relationship. He should never confront your mom about it, but you are his voice about that matter. (It's like if you and his MIL weren't getting along ~ it would be his responsiblity to salvage the relationship between MIL and you.)

That said, I am sorry you have to go through this at all and I'm glad you've forgiven your mom about it.


(PS ~ I hope I didn't come across offensively.)
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  #4  
May 9th, 2006, 12:45 PM
Regular
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 57
I am so glad that my mother and my husband get along. However, if they did not, I would have to side with my husband. Your husband and your son are your number one priorities now, and your mother is the outsider.

Any person that would physically strike you should not be allowed near you or your family. I think your problems will work themselves out real quick like if you discontinue contact with your mother for the time being. In the future, far, far into the future, you can approach her with something along the lines of "I will not have the drama and violence in my life; if you can behave yourself, you can be involved."

Lastly, it does sound as if your mother is trying to sabotage your marriage. See paragraph above regarding discontinuing contact with her. Anybody that does not have your best interest in mind should be avoided.
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  #5  
May 9th, 2006, 01:59 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
It is time that your family step back and get it through their heads that it is time for you to make your own decisions and choices. You are an adult and they can not make them for you any longer. They can make suggestions, but that is where it ends. If they suggest something and you think otherwise or have other plans and you have told them that, then they need to respect you as a person and your wishes. If she wants to threaten to call a report in on you guys, then let her, it just will let them see that she refuses to let you make your own decisions and be an adult.
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