We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
Hiya , im new here, i'd like to introduce myself. Im shaz, and im 27, i live in Dubai as of the past 9 mths..I am originally from South east london, croydon.
I have a boy who is 11mths old.
Problem is this...
I have a gr8 husband in that he always tells me he loves me, kisses me everyday , all the time, hugs me alot, supportive, helps with the baby, does the washing up, baths and feeds the baby and puts him to bed ... all this he does, to help me...
YET..BUT ... i dont know what it is that i feel so lonely and alone in this relationship...i know things change after baby...and i definitely feel it emotionally where DH is concerned... not from his side, but mine... i love an connect with the baby , altho obviously i do also get annoyed and tired by him... but for hubby i feel nothing...as in i cook for him, i do his washing, i give him a kiss an cuddle but i dont really feel like doing the physical stuff, like kissing him?! i dont know why! i do like him still. but i think im always too knackered and cant be asked?!!
now we'd like to try for baby ... let u know that normally we have sex once a month!! since the baby...upto now!!
he wants to try an i also agreed we'd try as of this month ... but i cant be asked with ssex!! yesterday was day we shud have started as part of fertile day but i couldnt be bothered and althou he was gonna try arouse me, i just said im tired n let him down plus myself, n fell asleep!! im sure its upsettin him also but i really feel tired and think of sex as such a chore!!! sometimes when i am in the mood i just want to do it,..like no foreplay .. but he likes the foreplay first and i feel thats a bloody headache!! i dont know what to say to him, as i ddont know what to write here, i just know i get tired of doing the same stuff... and there truly isnt much more u can do!! people say spice it up? how!! what do u actually do!!
the other problem is we have from 9pm time to have sex...cos baby sleeping!! but i think i am so tired by then i just wanna sleep!! and i told him this yesterday ...truly even b4, i prefer making love in the day , or in the morning 10am!! that kinda thing!! wen im alert and happy and awake!!
but the norm is sex at nite?!! and i think thats one probelm why we have less sex...thats not his fault i know that.. so its not so much i dont want sex...i do with him, but not at those specified times!!! cos it seems we only have between 9pm onwards... then he is up at 5am an to work, and back home 7pm... so i know its not his fault...and its impossible during the day cos he working, and baby is awke !! needing our attention... advice me how to make it better so we can try for no.2 but esp. have sex more for us !!! and our r'ship
The one thing I can think of to suggest to you is maybe a compromise?? As in you can come to some middle ground that you are both willing to do to get you into a new pattern in order to successfully TTC. OR you could always initiate things at that particular time that you stated you would prefer to have sex?? You may be waaay tired then etc, but you don't have to have a marathon session. Just a 'quick' one. It's all it takes to get things happening again, and then you know it isn't going to go on forever, so you won't need tonnes of energy for it.
I hope you work something out that helps you to get things where you wish them to be. Take care!!
The first thing that came to mind is...can you hire a babysitter and go somewhere for the weekend just the two of you? Or hire a babysitter overnight and go on a date and then go to a nearby hotel? Some couples do this every few weeks.