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  #1  
July 4th, 2010, 02:55 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 11
Pregnancy is suppose to be a joyful time. It's what we are all here for. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little while now. A family is all that the both of us have ever wanted, so one would think what would the issue be. I got pregnant this past March and miscarried in April. It was devasting for the both of us. I had never experienced nothing like that but it was his 3rd loss. It was understood that we were going to try again, we just had never discussed a time on when. Naturally we started having intercourse again and unprotected. Neither of us to concerned with what the end result could be. He wanted a child and I wanted to get back the noe that I had just lost. He was trying to get me pregnant again and I wasn't doing anything to stop him. Well now i'm pregnant again, we just found out yesterday. I don't know if I should be over joyed or depressed. He's scared of losing another child (I don't hold very well), he's saying he's not ready to give him a year. Basically, he wants me to get an abortion and I don't think I can do it. I don't think I can go through a loss and then turn around and get rid of the next one. The things that confuses me the most is he says he wants the baby more than anything in the world, yet he still doesn't want me to keep it. I just don't know what to do at this point.
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  #2  
July 4th, 2010, 07:03 PM
MzzMommaD's Avatar Sleepy Rat Rattery
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Phoenix AZ
Posts: 1,064
Give him time. Hold on to it if that is what you want. he is afraid, and it is understandable. But if you abort it, the pain will be a million times worse. Think about it for a while. If you wait, if he really wants another baby, and you are able to hold on, he will overcome his fear. Talk to your doctor TOGETHER about the risks and possibilities. See if there is anything your doc can do to help. But hold on. Dont break your heart because he isnt ready emotionally. If he wants it bad enough he wont make you give it up.
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  #3  
July 5th, 2010, 03:57 PM
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Thank you MzzMommaD, your reply helped so much
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  #4  
July 5th, 2010, 06:24 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
Quote:
Originally Posted by MzzMommaD View Post
Give him time. Hold on to it if that is what you want. he is afraid, and it is understandable. But if you abort it, the pain will be a million times worse. Think about it for a while. If you wait, if he really wants another baby, and you are able to hold on, he will overcome his fear. Talk to your doctor TOGETHER about the risks and possibilities. See if there is anything your doc can do to help. But hold on. Dont break your heart because he isnt ready emotionally. If he wants it bad enough he wont make you give it up.
I totally agree with you!!
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  #5  
July 5th, 2010, 07:28 PM
MzzMommaD's Avatar Sleepy Rat Rattery
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Phoenix AZ
Posts: 1,064
I'm glad I helped. I just dont want to see the two of you be pained if you make the wrong choice, or what may feel like the wrong choice. Just take it day by day and one step at a time. Discuss the pros and cons of BOTH choices. Talk together, talk to your doctor. But dont just throw your hands in the air and make a fast decision. If you are comfortable with talking, let us know what happens. I wish you the best with what ever path the two of you choose.
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  #6  
July 6th, 2010, 05:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MzzMommaD View Post
I'm glad I helped. I just dont want to see the two of you be pained if you make the wrong choice, or what may feel like the wrong choice. Just take it day by day and one step at a time. Discuss the pros and cons of BOTH choices. Talk together, talk to your doctor. But dont just throw your hands in the air and make a fast decision. If you are comfortable with talking, let us know what happens. I wish you the best with what ever path the two of you choose.
I'm not sure MzzMommaD...conversation may be gone with the wind. He doesn't want to talk about it anymore and he's made it clear that he is not ready. I don't know what to do, I don't want to make a decision that I am going to regret in the long run. Bottom line, we both knew what we were getting ourselves into in the beginning and he didn't decide he wasn't ready until after i was already pregnant. But either way I may have to deal with my decision on my own because he just told me that I know he's not ready so if I don't get the abortion then i'm on my own...

This is just very stressful. I know I will regret an abortion and I know if I go through with the pregnancy things will be tough, especially if he walks out. I already have a 4 year old son from before him. He's raised my son like his own but he tells me all the time how he wants his own because biologically he doesn't have any...I thank all of you ladies for your support and I will be sure to let you know how things turn out.

Last edited by Entrepreneur Mom; July 6th, 2010 at 05:19 AM. Reason: wanted to expand
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