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We were@my IL's on Sunday for the holiday. The weather was going a little wacky with sudden bursts of rain. MIL wanted to take my children to the parade 20 minutes away, walking. DH and I agreed that if it doesn't rain then sure no big deal, provided BIL went along too. The time comes for the parade and it's raining so we tell MIL that no they can't go. She starts bugging non-stop about it because of course the rain stops every few minutes but picks up again. We've gotten DD to be fine about not going heck she's being way more grown-up about this than MIL, of course DS has no reaction to any of this as he's perfectly happy chillin' out at the house. MIL keeps this up for about 20 minutes and finally she asks if it's okay if they go to the store which is about a 10 minute walk to and from to get a treat for my kids. DH and I agree since it was no longer raining and the walk was definitely much faster than the whole parade idea. I agreed but only because she was annoying the f out of me. DH knew this is the only reason I agreed.
Time went on and I realize they weren't back, they had already been gone a half hour at this point. DH is asleep on the couch and BIL is MIA but as soon as I found him I brought up how long they had been gone. BIL goes off to find them for me. I suffer from anxiety and panic and of course I leave my pills@my home but I'm in a full blown attack but holding it together the best I can---I do believe BIL knew this which is why he went to get them for me. Time keeps passing and DH is still sleeping and I'm wondering wth my daughter is. They finally get home an hour and a half after they left to go to the store. Of course I learn that MIL took DD to the parade. I'm livid but seeing as it isn't my house I hold my tongue however by this point I'm also shaking and bright red in the face. DH takes MIL into the backyard to talk with her. I'm maintaining myself because while yes I'm irked a bit with DD she is a child and it is the adult's responsibility to adhere to what we as her parents want. DH comes back in and states that MIL is sorry but she's really not because she doesn't feel she did anything wrong she was just being a grandma and spending time with her granddaughter. Whatever. I no longer want to be around my MIL, as a person she disgusts me. I tried to nicely and calmly explain to her that seeing as I do suffer from panic and anxiety that I'm a stickler for knowing exactly what my kids are up to when out with someone aside from DH or I. I also tell her that I think it's pretty underhanded to flat out lie to my face. All MIL did is so "oh yeah I'm sorry but we had a blast." Later on at home DH tells me that I'm paying for what her own mother did to her for years. Excuse me? I told DH that I do not care to go around his mom anymore as this is not my first or only issue with her. I'm always playing nice and if I see her again or she does anything remotely close to this it will come to blows and I will not play nice. I promise I'm not a violent person and I know that violence doesn't solve anything but why continue to be respectful and nice?
Sounds like it is time to cut off contact. We had to do that with DH's family more than once. If she can not respect your wishes as far as your child's concerned, then you need to limit the contact that she has with her by either no unsupervised contact with the child or no contact at all until she can change her behavior.
You are the mom. She isn't. Conversation over. lol
I know your pain! My mom does this too me all the time. She makes plans with my kids, gets all ready to do something with them (like take them to the beach on a day that is supposed to be 110 degrees....um, ask me first please?)
It was completely wrong, and I'd refuse to let her do anything with DD from now on simply because you can't trust her. You won't know if she is being truthful about where they are going and that is just not fair. Sorry you are dealing with this! It sucks!!
She was over this weekend. DH picked her up on Friday and she stayed until 1pm yesterday. We were home for most of the weekend but DH & I went on a date Saturday night. We had just finished dinner when she called stating that our DS broke the TV. DH & I went home and no DS did not break the TV at all he just turned off the cable. She's not a very bright woman because before we left we showed her 1) how to work the TV and cable box and 2) where to put the remotes so DS could NOT get to them---but of course she does things "her way" and let the kids pretty much have free reign over the house while we're gone.
Thankfully DD is smart enough to know to NOT mess everything up and prior to us leaving the house again DD told me she'd help with DS, which she always does, and make sure MIL didn't let him do stuff he's not allowed to do or have things(food/drinks)he's not allowed to have. When DH & I get home at about 11pm I realize my house that I had just cleaned has things once again moved around and according to MIL she "cleaned" but it's obvious she was just being nosy and going through our things. I bite my tongue because she did watch the kids and nothing is missing or anything and the children were kept safe this time because 1) we told her she was no longer allowed to go outside and 2) we took the keys so if she disregarded our wishes she couldn't leave w/o leaving our house unlocked.....trust me DD would not leave the house if she knew it couldn't be locked she's a stickler for these things.
I got a "report" from DD on how things went while we were gone and surprisingly she(MIL)seemed to do well the whole night. I'm happy about things this time other than the fact that upon leaving I realized the reason my house smelled odd is because MIL either a) does not shower often or b) has some other health issue because all I've got to say is ewwwww. Needless to say I washed and febreezed everything that couldn't be washed once I figured out why things were ewww.