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  #1  
August 2nd, 2010, 10:22 PM
MzzMommaD's Avatar Sleepy Rat Rattery
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Phoenix AZ
Posts: 1,063
So, due to our unfortunate financial situation we moved into DH's friends 1brd apartment since he stays with his wife on the other side of the apartment complex. But this friend, lets call him Gary, comes over here during the day, which is fine, its his apartment. But he has an Xbox. And since we have moved in, a week ago today, DH and Gary have played Xbox from the time they wake up, usually about 1pm, till 4-7am. And the only reason they stop playing? To sleep, to eat, to go to the bathroom. I no longer exist, but DH will still play with our son. I have tried and tried to get his attention, by subtle hints, to actually saying, "Hey honey, maybe tonight you can actually come cuddle in bed with your wife and watch a movie, and go to bed at a decent hour." I have been saying this for 3 days now. And what does he do? last night he stayed up all night playing video games. He came into the bedroom today at 9am, climbed in bed, and went back to sleep. Woke up at 1pm, and is still playing video games. Dont get me wrong, I have no problem with him playing video games. What I DO have a problem with is they have become more important than spending quality time with me. We used to be so cuddly and close. But this past week.. I feel... so left out, alone, unspecial. We haven't even DTD more than 5 times since we moved in and we usually do it at least 2 times a DAY.
I needed to rant and get this off my chest. Since nothing I say to him lately makes a difference in how long he plays. I even tried playing them WITH him, but I have such a hard time with the controllers, I'm used to the Gamecube ones.

What can I do to make him notice me again.
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  #2  
August 3rd, 2010, 10:59 AM
gctattoo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,689
I'm about to be harsh since I despise the video game obsession some men have. But it's not directed at you, just the situation you're in:

Tell him to grow up and get clue. He's married and has a child which makes him a grown man. It's time he acted like one. Enjoying a game isn't a crime. But being obsessed with it to the point that nothing else matters is just immature and stupid. Especially when he has responsibilities.

I can honestly say there'd be some serious problems if my DH ever thought he could act like that and get away with it. Thankfully, he has zero interest in video/computer games (except for playing poker on Pogo for an hour a day). And I contribute that to the fact that he doesn't have the mentality of a child. He actually grew up-- unlike the so-called men who become obsessed.

To me, it's no different than something else taking up all of someone's time: drugs/drinking, going out, etc. If your DH were staying out all night and not spending time with the family, you wouldn't put up with it, right? And you shouldn't put up with this either.

If you're in a bad financial situation, he should be putting that time in trying to improve that. Even if he weren't around because of it, that would be working to improve your lives. What does a stupid game do it improve it? Nothing at all. It only detracts from it.
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  #3  
August 3rd, 2010, 09:09 PM
BigGrin's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,684
When does he work???
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  #4  
August 4th, 2010, 12:01 AM
MzzMommaD's Avatar Sleepy Rat Rattery
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Phoenix AZ
Posts: 1,063
Right now we work for my aunt's mystery shopping company so we just got a check for 900$ for making 297 phone calls nation wide. He just graduated college at a tech school and is waiting to get a return call in the next day or so for a job in oregon. So we will most likely be relocating in the next month, even though we just moved into this friends house. The employment market here is too hard to find work we have been looking since last august and have not been able to get even the crappiest jobs.
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  #5  
August 25th, 2010, 09:59 AM
katylady's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3,401
I too had a husband that was obsessed with computer games. I wasn't sure how to get him to understand. So I would go without him to the dog park and do things and let him know that I was going and he still wouldn't get off the computer.

I'm not sure how he changed or what opened his eyes but he came home from deployment and has completely changed. Mind you he still plays but he's the one that says hey lets take the dog to the park and hey lets go do...

sounds like your husband is in a funk with life and maybe that's what's clouding his judgement. Hope things turn around and he gets a job soon.
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  #6  
September 5th, 2010, 06:07 AM
Maitri's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,262
I'm going to cut him some slack. It sounds like he's really stressed out and needs a release. For men, that can be video games because they're mindless and there's an actual goal to attain (beating the game) so they can feel like they've accomplished something. Men need things like that to feel like they're taking care of their family (weird, I know).

Now if the month goes by and he's still acting the same way, then you have a problem. But if it were me, I'd let him have some game time for a week or so. IMO he'll get bored with it.
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  #7  
September 11th, 2010, 08:40 AM
jessicams
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Posts: n/a
Play with him! Even if you're bad at it, make it something you can do together!
I totally know the video game thing (my hubby's bachelor degree is video game design-but it's not what he does for a living). Trying to talk to him while he's playing is like talking to a brick wall. But if you wait for a food break, try to tell him how you're feeling. If that doesn't work, wait up for him and talk then. Let him know how you're feeling and ask if you guys can make it a family thing.
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  #8  
September 13th, 2010, 04:20 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
Quote:
Originally Posted by gctattoo View Post
I'm about to be harsh since I despise the video game obsession some men have. But it's not directed at you, just the situation you're in:

Tell him to grow up and get clue. He's married and has a child which makes him a grown man. It's time he acted like one. Enjoying a game isn't a crime. But being obsessed with it to the point that nothing else matters is just immature and stupid. Especially when he has responsibilities.

I can honestly say there'd be some serious problems if my DH ever thought he could act like that and get away with it. Thankfully, he has zero interest in video/computer games (except for playing poker on Pogo for an hour a day). And I contribute that to the fact that he doesn't have the mentality of a child. He actually grew up-- unlike the so-called men who become obsessed.

To me, it's no different than something else taking up all of someone's time: drugs/drinking, going out, etc. If your DH were staying out all night and not spending time with the family, you wouldn't put up with it, right? And you shouldn't put up with this either.

If you're in a bad financial situation, he should be putting that time in trying to improve that. Even if he weren't around because of it, that would be working to improve your lives. What does a stupid game do it improve it? Nothing at all. It only detracts from it.
I agree!!!
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