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  #1  
May 17th, 2006, 09:16 AM
carolinagirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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OK - here is some background on my situation...

I am 31, DH is 46 and DSS is 20. I am on my second marriage and this is my DH's third. His son is from his first marriage and they split when DSS was only 4 years old. DH gained full custody of DSS at age 7 after being abused physically, emotionally, verbally and sexually at the hands of his mother's relentless boyfriends.

I met DH when DSS was 14 and living in a foster home. At the time I met DH I thought that since he had visitations every other weekend that his son was living with his mother. It wasn't til much later that I discovered the reason he was in foster care and that DH's second marriage failed as part of the result. (during this time DSS was on medications for bipolar disorder)

My DH (then boyfriend) went to Bosnia for 10 months and had to send his son to live with family in Ohio (during his 10 months stay with DH's family they decided to take him off his meds w/out conscent from his doctors). All along DSS is having major problems at school and was suspended for communicating threats (made a comment about he understood why Columbine happened). As result DH had to pay insane court fee's and lawyer fee's to keep it hush hush. Once my DH returned state side we got engaged, moved in together and brought his son to live with us all at the same time. It wasn't a smooth transition. DSS started acting out and being really difficult to deal with. Started having a lot of trouble in school, so we decided to move to another town - new county - new neighborhood - new school.

It wasn't long before DSS started having problems at his new school. It got to be an everyday occurrance that the school would call me to tell me DSS was yet again in trouble. The last time was his senior year 3 months before graduation (DH was deployed to Iraq for 18 months during this entire time). He got expelled from school for communicating threats, distruction of public property and throwing a chair at a teacher. He went to jail for 41 days for that. DH begged me to allow DSS to come to live with us once he got out of jail. I protested but finally gave in since he is his only child and he was in Iraq. I thought that it wasn't right to make him worry needlessly over what was happening at home while he was overseas. DSS was told in order to come back to live with us he had to get a job and pay rent. That went well for about 8 months. I really thought that he was making progress, but then for 2 weeks we didn't see much of him. He was coming in really late at night and wearing his work clothes (which he always packed his clothes in a backpack and changed at work). So I suspect that he's gotten fired from his job and is too scared to tell us about it. DH and I go to the restuarant that he WAS working at and we didn't see him anywhere. I ask one of the waitresses where he was and she told me that he was let go 2 weeks prior. DH and I are pissed and when we get home confront him about it. He admits he got fired and was too scared to tell us AND doesn't have the money for his rent b/c he blew it all on smoking pot with his buddies. I had to leave the house for a bit to cool off and DH tells his son "that it's fine he was going to work off what he owed us in rent and he would have to do stuff around the house to earn his keep" PLUS he had to go to school to get his G.E.D. He didn't have to worry about finding another job until he completed his G.E.D. at the college.

Well, it's been 9 months since he started school - still NO G.E.D. - NO JOB - and he acts like it's a HUGE imposition to help around the house. I avoid going home b/c of the tension between us and it keeps mounting. DH and I have arguements over the whole situation. I tell my DH that's it BOTH of our responsibilities to talk to his son about what he's doing AND that I am getting fed-up with DSS not working, not going to school, not doing anything other than hanging out with his buddies all night and sleeping all day. DH tells me that I need to talk to DSS about it and stop b*tching to him about it and do something. It makes me completely mad thinking about all of this. DH and I are a partnership and take equal responsibility BUT ultimately it is HIS son and HE should be the one to lay the law down and I should be the one to back him up!

I just don't know what else to do or say. I want DSS out of the house and on his own but he is making absolutely no effort towards obtaining that goal - because that would mean that he would have to stop hanging out with his loser friends to get a job and actually save some money instead of blowing it all on drugs! *sigh*

If you've made it thus far in this post (((HUGS))) and thank you! Any insight would be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks,
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  #2  
May 17th, 2006, 10:04 AM
Deena's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I sure hope ypur DH sees the light and supports you on this... It's HIS son, and you were awesome enough to take him on with a kid like that... he shouldn't make you be the bad guy all the time!!
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  #3  
May 17th, 2006, 11:46 AM
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First of all ... you are amazing!

I can't comment yet on anything else until I ask.... is he back on his meds for his bipolar disorder?????

xxx Lisa xxx
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  #4  
May 17th, 2006, 12:00 PM
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Why doesn't your DH talk to him about possibly joining the military?
That would be one way for him to have a job that will actually go somewhere.

There are not many good jobs for high school dropouts or people who only have a GED, and if that's all he has then even if he does get a job he still probably won't be able to afford to move out.

By the way he doesn't have to go to school to get his GED. He can buy a book and study for it on his own time and then take it.
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  #5  
May 17th, 2006, 12:55 PM
carolinagirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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DeannaL - Thank you, I appreciate that alot and you're right about DH needing to stop making me the bad guy all the time.

Lisa - Thank you! No, he's not on med's anymore. 1) he's an "adult" and not covered under our insurance and those med's were like $300 a month when he was covered 2) we want him to join the military

SCGirl - Yes, trust me - DH has talked to him MANY times about joining the military. He's actually smart enough to take the test w/out studying. I think the reason he's dragging his feet about getting his G.E.D. is because he knows DH will take his tail straight to the recruiter's once he gets it. I agree, even if he did get a job he wouldn't be able to live on his own but atleast I would see that he's making an effort to become a responsible adult and I might would be inclined to help him more.

Thanks for listening. It's just so frustrating, KWIM?!?!
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  #6  
May 17th, 2006, 01:30 PM
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From the other perspective, your stepson might be feeling lost and not sure what to do with his life.

He may feel like he doesn't have very many options, between the military (which it sounds like he doesn't want to join) and some dead end job that doesn't pay much.

Is college an option for him? Most community colleges will accept students with a GED, a diploma is usually not required.
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  #7  
May 17th, 2006, 02:12 PM
carolinagirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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SCGirl - I wish he would go to college! The last time DH talked to him about the military he was trying to get him to join the National Guard - he would serve 1 weekend a month & 2 weeks a year - the rest of the time if he wanted to go to college they would pay for it, plus give him like $5,000.00 sign on bonus. He was all in agreeance when he heard the money factor into the mix BUT tells us he doesn't want anyone yelling at him or telling him what to do. He doesn't want to cut his hair, he doesn't want to take his piercings out. He has an excuse for every option we have tried to provide for him. He's VERY smart and would do well with electrical engineering (which is what my DH is) and has even asked DH about it, but because he would have to go to school for 2 years and get an AS degree in Electronics - he was no longer interested. I'm affraid to say this, but if he can't major in "how to get high 101" he doesn't want anything to do with going to school. Further more he can't keep his mouth shut long enough to keep a job. He's basically worn out all his options here in town. In just 1.5 years he's had 5 jobs!! Ever heard the phrase "your mouth is writting checks your arse can't cash" - that's my DSS! I'm just so flippin exasperated that I don't know what to do. Like right now, it's 5:10 and I am still sitting here at work b/c I don't want to go home. I avoid my own home due to all the tension and pent up anger. It's basically a volcano waiting to explode and I hate feeling like that. *sigh*
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  #8  
May 17th, 2006, 04:16 PM
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I have SO been in your shoes and it is NOT fun!!! I was told by SERVERAL counselors that I, not being the biological parent, can not lay down the law with the kid, it is the bioparent's responsibility. Now, with that being said, your DH needs to step up to the plate and do it. He may be feeling guilty and that is why he isnt doing a lot about your SS. Guilt seems to play a major role on the daddy's not doing what they need to and allowing their children to get by with stuff. You need to decide how much is enough and set your limits. If the kid is 18 not abiding by the rules, making no effort to better himself then it is time to go. If your DH does not like that, well then, it may be time to threaten him that he may need to go as well. Sometimes that threat will sink in that hey I better get my act together and do something with this kid, or I am going to lose the woman I love. Tough love is what needs to happen. (((HUGS))) PM me if you want to talk more.
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  #9  
May 17th, 2006, 05:21 PM
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Quote:
You need to decide how much is enough and set your limits. If the kid is 18 not abiding by the rules, making no effort to better himself then it is time to go. If your DH does not like that, well then, it may be time to threaten him that he may need to go as well. Sometimes that threat will sink in that hey I better get my act together and do something with this kid, or I am going to lose the woman I love. Tough love is what needs to happen. (((HUGS))) PM me if you want to talk more.[/b]
I disagree.

You don't want to kick the kid out, it sounds like he has had a hard time in life already, moving around and so on. And where would he go anyway?

Sometimes it just takes time for people to get their priorities straight and parents have to be patient. A lot can depend on who he hangs out with too. The right set of friends or a new girlfriend can have a LOT of influence. Don't give up on him.

You think he is just wasting time, and I can see your point of view. But I don't think kicking him out is the right answer. I think talking about all his options is a good idea, and you have done that and will probably do it many more times before a decision is actually made.
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  #10  
May 18th, 2006, 05:14 AM
Lisadear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
DeannaL - Thank you, I appreciate that alot and you're right about DH needing to stop making me the bad guy all the time.

Lisa - Thank you! No, he's not on med's anymore. 1) he's an "adult" and not covered under our insurance and those med's were like $300 a month when he was covered 2) we want him to join the military

SCGirl - Yes, trust me - DH has talked to him MANY times about joining the military. He's actually smart enough to take the test w/out studying. I think the reason he's dragging his feet about getting his G.E.D. is because he knows DH will take his tail straight to the recruiter's once he gets it. I agree, even if he did get a job he wouldn't be able to live on his own but atleast I would see that he's making an effort to become a responsible adult and I might would be inclined to help him more.

Thanks for listening. It's just so frustrating, KWIM?!?![/b]
hon ... reason I asked is that I am bipolar one and I NEED my meds in order to put and keep things in perspective ... it really does help even though at times I'm ready to pitch them.
I know the meds are expensive but it would also help his focus to study his GED and give a lil bit of himself towards your family if you know what i mean?
Dealing with a medicated bipolar is difficult enough ... dealing with an UNmedicated one is in itself quite impossible for loved ones ...
I know money is an issue but at the end of the day ... what means more? the $$ or both his mental health and of course the wellbeing of yourself and the rest of your family?

You can talk to me ANYtime ... I am here for you and I think you are an amazingly strong person ... you have my admiration (if that means anything to give you some more oomph to keep going)

thinking of you and of course I'll be following up all replies and updates on this thread

xxx Lisa xxx
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  #11  
May 18th, 2006, 06:25 AM
carolinagirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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in_mommy wrote:
Quote:
If the kid is 18 not abiding by the rules, making no effort to better himself then it is time to go. If your DH does not like that, well then, it may be time to threaten him that he may need to go as well. Sometimes that threat will sink in that hey I better get my act together and do something with this kid, or I am going to lose the woman I love.[/b]
in_mommy - Thank you for your heartfelt understanding, I truly appreciate it! I also understand what you're saying, but I don't want to make my DH choose between me or his child. That's one of the reasons I've stuck it out as long as I have. I love my DH and I love my DSS but he is really pushing the limits of my tolerance. I want my DH to make a stand and say "look these are the house rules - respect us & our house - pull your own weight - or find other living arrangements". KWIM??

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

SCGirl wrote:
Quote:
I disagree.

You don't want to kick the kid out, it sounds like he has had a hard time in life already, moving around and so on. And where would he go anyway?

Sometimes it just takes time for people to get their priorities straight and parents have to be patient. A lot can depend on who he hangs out with too. The right set of friends or a new girlfriend can have a LOT of influence. Don't give up on him.

You think he is just wasting time, and I can see your point of view. But I don't think kicking him out is the right answer. I think talking about all his options is a good idea, and you have done that and will probably do it many more times before a decision is actually made.[/b]
SCGirl - True enough, he has had a pretty hard life, however it's not an excuse or an all access pass to behave or treat his dad and myself the way he's treating us. I can't choose his friends for him, the few that we do tolerate don't spend much time with him anymore b/c he uses them as well. I do see your point that it takes others a longer time to get their priorities straight, it's just I'm not sure I will be sane by the time he gets his act together. If I wanted him out, he would have been out a long time ago but I care about what happens to him. This is the second time we're going thru this. The first time was while my DH was in Iraq. DSS put his hands on me and told me that his dad didn't love him or care about him. I lost it and told him to pack his things and get out. He was gone for almost a year when he came crawling back, begging my forgiveness and to please allow him to move back in. He found out how well he had it living with us and didn't like it that all his stuff was stolen from the place he was sharing with 6 of his closest loser friends. I just don't know what else to do - we've talked until we're blue in the face about him going into the military & going to college. We want him to make something of himself and not end up like one of those homeless people you see on the street corner begging for spare change. I litterally breaks my heart, but when is enough - enough?!?!

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Lisadear wrote:
Quote:
Dealing with a medicated bipolar is difficult enough ... dealing with an UNmedicated one is in itself quite impossible for loved ones ...
I know money is an issue but at the end of the day ... what means more? the $$ or both his mental health and of course the wellbeing of yourself and the rest of your family?[/b]
Lisadear - Thank you, you couldn't have said that any better myself. I've delt with him medicated & of course unmedicated - he's no different. The only things the depecoat did was make him a bottomless pit. He ate ALL the time. Personally I think he's ADHD not bipolar. My DH's second exwife (not the biological mother) was a nurse and she's the one that said he was "bipolar" and took him to a mental health clinic where they put him on meds. I also think that he needs alot of therapy to deal with the things his mother did to him. Realistically, who wouldn't benefit from some counseling?? I know that I have endured tragedies in my life - BUT - I don't use them as a crutch for my daily life!! I appreciate you listening and maybe with more indepth communication you can help me to understand what it's like for you on a daily basis.
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  #12  
May 18th, 2006, 09:14 AM
Lisadear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
in_mommy wrote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
If the kid is 18 not abiding by the rules, making no effort to better himself then it is time to go. If your DH does not like that, well then, it may be time to threaten him that he may need to go as well. Sometimes that threat will sink in that hey I better get my act together and do something with this kid, or I am going to lose the woman I love.[/b]
in_mommy - Thank you for your heartfelt understanding, I truly appreciate it! I also understand what you're saying, but I don't want to make my DH choose between me or his child. That's one of the reasons I've stuck it out as long as I have. I love my DH and I love my DSS but he is really pushing the limits of my tolerance. I want my DH to make a stand and say "look these are the house rules - respect us & our house - pull your own weight - or find other living arrangements". KWIM??

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

SCGirl wrote:
Quote:
I disagree.

You don't want to kick the kid out, it sounds like he has had a hard time in life already, moving around and so on. And where would he go anyway?

Sometimes it just takes time for people to get their priorities straight and parents have to be patient. A lot can depend on who he hangs out with too. The right set of friends or a new girlfriend can have a LOT of influence. Don't give up on him.

You think he is just wasting time, and I can see your point of view. But I don't think kicking him out is the right answer. I think talking about all his options is a good idea, and you have done that and will probably do it many more times before a decision is actually made.[/b]
SCGirl - True enough, he has had a pretty hard life, however it's not an excuse or an all access pass to behave or treat his dad and myself the way he's treating us. I can't choose his friends for him, the few that we do tolerate don't spend much time with him anymore b/c he uses them as well. I do see your point that it takes others a longer time to get their priorities straight, it's just I'm not sure I will be sane by the time he gets his act together. If I wanted him out, he would have been out a long time ago but I care about what happens to him. This is the second time we're going thru this. The first time was while my DH was in Iraq. DSS put his hands on me and told me that his dad didn't love him or care about him. I lost it and told him to pack his things and get out. He was gone for almost a year when he came crawling back, begging my forgiveness and to please allow him to move back in. He found out how well he had it living with us and didn't like it that all his stuff was stolen from the place he was sharing with 6 of his closest loser friends. I just don't know what else to do - we've talked until we're blue in the face about him going into the military & going to college. We want him to make something of himself and not end up like one of those homeless people you see on the street corner begging for spare change. I litterally breaks my heart, but when is enough - enough?!?!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lisadear wrote:
Quote:
Dealing with a medicated bipolar is difficult enough ... dealing with an UNmedicated one is in itself quite impossible for loved ones ...
I know money is an issue but at the end of the day ... what means more? the $$ or both his mental health and of course the wellbeing of yourself and the rest of your family?[/b]
Lisadear - Thank you, you couldn't have said that any better myself. I've delt with him medicated & of course unmedicated - he's no different. The only things the depecoat did was make him a bottomless pit. He ate ALL the time. Personally I think he's ADHD not bipolar. My DH's second exwife (not the biological mother) was a nurse and she's the one that said he was "bipolar" and took him to a mental health clinic where they put him on meds. I also think that he needs alot of therapy to deal with the things his mother did to him. Realistically, who wouldn't benefit from some counseling?? I know that I have endured tragedies in my life - BUT - I don't use them as a crutch for my daily life!! I appreciate you listening and maybe with more indepth communication you can help me to understand what it's like for you on a daily basis.
[/b][/quote]
even if ADHD he may need certain medications but yes I fully agree that he needs counselling ... he has to agree to it though otherwise it will be of no good nor use to him .... he needs to want to co operate ... hope this helps ...

xxx Lisa xxx
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  #13  
May 19th, 2006, 04:08 AM
appifanie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
I just don't know what else to do or say. I want DSS out of the house and on his own but he is making absolutely no effort towards obtaining that goal - because that would mean that he would have to stop hanging out with his loser friends to get a job and actually save some money instead of blowing it all on drugs! *sigh*[/b]
he sounds like my ex! i know that one of his (many) problems was that his parents kept making threats and not following up on them. including the extreme of wanting him to get arrested (he was breaking into their house, stealing their stuff and pawning it). but when he did get arrested, the bailed him out quick as can be.

i think it's important for your DH to step up and do something and say something to his son and then back it up. the problem is that your DSS doesn't seem to understand the severity of needing to make life changes, and neither you nor DH can impress that upon him - he's gonna have to figure that out for himself somehow. and that i don't know.


p.s. my DH is an army recruiter
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  #14  
May 19th, 2006, 02:01 PM
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hey i just have to put in my two cents. i have had many family members who have had to hit bottom before coming back up. as long as they were in the same routine they kept relapsing and doing the exact same things they had done before no matter whether it was drugs, stealing, depression anything. the only thing that helped them was hitting rock bottom. i know it can be very hard but if it continues to get worse then his surroundings need to change. i hope it all works out for you. i would definitely try counselling b4 doing anything else tho. hth. good luck
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  #15  
May 19th, 2006, 02:21 PM
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Hi - popping in with something you may not want to hear at all, but I had to say something.

I am bi-polar II. I've been very lucky that I have been able to be unmedicated for almost 2 years, but it's with intense therapy and a ton of support from my DH. Undying, never giving up, never letting me push him away, amazing, loving support.

When I was "bad" - when I was diagnosed and was medicated - I was a basketcase. I had a very responsible job that I just couldn't handle anymore. For a lot of bi-polars, myself included, it manifests itself as anger, anxiety, and general nastiness. I would, to quote you (and it's because it's such a good way to describe it!!) constantly write checks with my mouth that my butt couldn't cash. I would get sooo very angry over almost nothing, fly off the handle, go off on people, say totally inappropriate things. My anxiety made it nearly impossible for me to do anything, I couldn't go to work, I couldn't go to school, I couldn't do anything. I wanted to, but I just couldn't. Because I couldn't, I let people think I just didn't want to, because it was so much easier than admitting I couldn't do these things anymore.

It's so hard when you feel like no one understands you. The only reason I got off the meds was because we wanted to TTC. It's so much easier on the meds, and much less time consuming! But in a lot of cases, and it sounds like it could be your DSS's case, the meds don't really make a lot of difference without dealing with the things that are underneath. In a lot of cases, what's underneath wouldn't neccesarily be a problem, but when you've got the bi-polar on top of it, you can't deal with normal stuff, let alone the kind of stuff he had to deal with.

You mentioned him blowing his money on pot. Did you know that irresponsible spending is one of the biggest symptoms of being bi-polar? And also, that self-medicating with drugs or alcohol is VERY normal for unmedicated bi-polars? It makes it worse in the long run, but for the time being, it tends to make things easier to deal with. About 1 in 3 bi-polar people are addicted to something, simply as a coping mechanism for dealing with the disease.

Being bi-polar is just like having diabetes or heart disease. It's not something you choose to have, but it is an illness. Just like any other illness, the medication for it will help. It won't cure it, but it will help. Most bi-polar people take an average of 12-18 months of weekly trips to a psychiatrist and shuffling and adjusting meds before they find a combination that works for them. Most of us have to take a combination of 2 to 3 meds to stabilize the disorder.

I'm not making excuses for him, he needs discipline (that it sounds like he never got growing up) and he needs to learn responsibility. However, sometimes, until the illness is under control, those things can never be learned.

His not having insurance is a problem, but what about help from the state? Most states have mental health programs that are subsidized. He needs a lot of help, and it's going to take awhile for this to get better.
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  #16  
May 20th, 2006, 05:51 AM
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Quote:
His not having insurance is a problem, but what about help from the state? Most states have mental health programs that are subsidized. He needs a lot of help, and it's going to take awhile for this to get better.[/b]
As far as I know, if he has a parent who is active duty military (his dad) isn't he eligible to use his dad's insurance (Tricare, which is a very good one, and covers pretty much anything under the sun). That is what I heard, is that up until the age of 21? or 23? dependent children can continue to use Tricare, as long as they are ENROLLED IN COLLEGE.

Otherwise, it's 18.

It would almost be worthwhile for him to enroll in college just for that reason alone, so he could get help.

Or is your DH no longer active duty? If he is retired I think the same thing applies.
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  #17  
May 21st, 2006, 11:39 AM
carolinagirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Nope, DH isn't active duty or retired. He served 10 years in the Marine Corps and is now currently in the Army National Guard finishing his 20 so he can retire with full military benefits. I know it sounds as if I am making excuses and I probably am, however I just feel that my DH should be taking a more active role in this situation. I wish I knew how he just ignores it and picks his battles. I wish it didn't bother me as much. I wish that things hadn't gotten so out of control KWIM?
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  #18  
May 22nd, 2006, 06:21 AM
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Quote:
Hi - popping in with something you may not want to hear at all, but I had to say something.

I am bi-polar II. I've been very lucky that I have been able to be unmedicated for almost 2 years, but it's with intense therapy and a ton of support from my DH. Undying, never giving up, never letting me push him away, amazing, loving support.

When I was "bad" - when I was diagnosed and was medicated - I was a basketcase. I had a very responsible job that I just couldn't handle anymore. For a lot of bi-polars, myself included, it manifests itself as anger, anxiety, and general nastiness. I would, to quote you (and it's because it's such a good way to describe it!!) constantly write checks with my mouth that my butt couldn't cash. I would get sooo very angry over almost nothing, fly off the handle, go off on people, say totally inappropriate things. My anxiety made it nearly impossible for me to do anything, I couldn't go to work, I couldn't go to school, I couldn't do anything. I wanted to, but I just couldn't. Because I couldn't, I let people think I just didn't want to, because it was so much easier than admitting I couldn't do these things anymore.

It's so hard when you feel like no one understands you. The only reason I got off the meds was because we wanted to TTC. It's so much easier on the meds, and much less time consuming! But in a lot of cases, and it sounds like it could be your DSS's case, the meds don't really make a lot of difference without dealing with the things that are underneath. In a lot of cases, what's underneath wouldn't neccesarily be a problem, but when you've got the bi-polar on top of it, you can't deal with normal stuff, let alone the kind of stuff he had to deal with.

You mentioned him blowing his money on pot. Did you know that irresponsible spending is one of the biggest symptoms of being bi-polar? And also, that self-medicating with drugs or alcohol is VERY normal for unmedicated bi-polars? It makes it worse in the long run, but for the time being, it tends to make things easier to deal with. About 1 in 3 bi-polar people are addicted to something, simply as a coping mechanism for dealing with the disease.

Being bi-polar is just like having diabetes or heart disease. It's not something you choose to have, but it is an illness. Just like any other illness, the medication for it will help. It won't cure it, but it will help. Most bi-polar people take an average of 12-18 months of weekly trips to a psychiatrist and shuffling and adjusting meds before they find a combination that works for them. Most of us have to take a combination of 2 to 3 meds to stabilize the disorder.

I'm not making excuses for him, he needs discipline (that it sounds like he never got growing up) and he needs to learn responsibility. However, sometimes, until the illness is under control, those things can never be learned.

His not having insurance is a problem, but what about help from the state? Most states have mental health programs that are subsidized. He needs a lot of help, and it's going to take awhile for this to get better.[/b]
to everything deb said ......... its all TRUE and I could not have said anything any better than this ...

thinking of you

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  #19  
June 23rd, 2006, 10:01 PM
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Awww. I really have no advice for you because I've never been in that situation, I just hope everything works out and your DSS makes some effort to either get a job and keep it or go to school and graduate with a GED, I'm sure that would make things a lot better between you and your DH too. Hope all goes well
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June 24th, 2006, 09:31 AM
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