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Why I hate adoption attornies...


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  #1  
May 17th, 2006, 06:42 PM
MommieinNC's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Personal rant...

I feel as though the attorney the couple has chosen to use is a vulture... Someone who wants to be at the hospital when the baby is delivered, hoovering outside of the door waiting for the doctors clearance that I've been off medication long enough to make a sound decision that can't be changed later...

She called me today in regards to my visit out west... and when she learned I wasn't signing papers in the hospital, this is what I got:

"Well... why aren't you signing papers in the hospital"
"Why can't you sign papers in the hospital"
"Are you planning to keep the baby in the room with you then the ENTIRE time then"
"Well you're going immediatley to Amys office to sign papers then right"
You're making things a little bit difficult"

Then she goes on to talk about informing the hospital of the adoption plans...

Hold the freak f*cking train... The adoptive parents, I, and the agency director have went to great pains to NOT inform the hospital of the adoption plan because they aren't exactly birth parent friendly... (AKA they ignore the birthmom, try to talk you out of seeing your baby, etc)... We've made a plan that makes me most comfortable with my decision. Everything this attorney is trying to do now is going 100% against what I want done, and will make me so uncomfortable that I'll feel more like I'm pressured to do anything and not have the time I need to say my goodbyes and everything...

RAWR... Any advice?
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  #2  
May 17th, 2006, 10:28 PM
mrobinson
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Kill the lawyer!

Seriously hon... I can't imagine how hard this road is let alone to be hitting this Texas gate on the way..



It sounds like you, the agency and the adoptive parents have all your ducks in a row so I hope things can work out through the agency fielding those types of messages.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this BS at all. Feel free to Pm anytime.

Michelle
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  #3  
May 18th, 2006, 05:19 AM
Lisadear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Cari I dont know what to say .... have not got a clue ... I just hope that they ease up on you cause of course things seem difficult enough as it is

I'm here of course if you need me

xxx Lisa xxx
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  #4  
May 18th, 2006, 06:45 AM
**Cynthia**'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I believe I read that this is your second adoption right?? I'd remind this lawyer that you have been through the process of giving someone their dreams already and that you are capable of doing it again. I think he/she is just trying to keep you from bonding with the baby because he/she thinks it you do, you'll back out. Doesn't he/she realize that this is an open adoption? I'd just politely tell this lawyer that you have made up your mind to give this child a life with the other parents and that you would appreciate being treated with some respect, that you fully deserve.

You are a very special person and deserve to be treated as though!!

Hugs!
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  #5  
May 19th, 2006, 04:15 AM
appifanie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
I believe I read that this is your second adoption right?? I'd remind this lawyer that you have been through the process of giving someone their dreams already and that you are capable of doing it again. I think he/she is just trying to keep you from bonding with the baby because he/she thinks it you do, you'll back out. Doesn't he/she realize that this is an open adoption? I'd just politely tell this lawyer that you have made up your mind to give this child a life with the other parents and that you would appreciate being treated with some respect, that you fully deserve.[/b]
agreed!

and if that doesn't work, can you get a new atty?
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  #6  
May 19th, 2006, 06:25 AM
MommieinNC's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Can't get a new attorney... this one is already on retainer... and paid that amount so far... I really think it's about the money to this lady... but that's beside the point.

God... honestly... I wonder what she's going to do or say when she learns that I've chosen to breastfeed in the hospital and that I'm not signing the papers until 24 hours have passed OUTSIDE the hospital? She thinks I'm being difficult with what little information she has... Umm... yeah....
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  #7  
May 20th, 2006, 02:18 AM
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I say tell the adoptive parents or agency how uncomfortable the atty is making you feel! And just say look you NEED t talk to her if you really want me to go through with this.

You can't let the atty treat you that way! You're a person too and you are giving someone your CHILD it is gonna be hard anyone can see that and the last thing you need is some cow stressing you out!
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  #8  
May 20th, 2006, 08:45 AM
appifanie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
I wonder what she's going to do or say when she learns that I've chosen to breastfeed in the hospital and that I'm not signing the papers until 24 hours have passed OUTSIDE the hospital? She thinks I'm being difficult with what little information she has... Umm... yeah....[/b]
but that's good for the baby! i can understand the atty's panic, but get real
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  #9  
May 20th, 2006, 10:20 AM
MommieinNC's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hey at least there is a bright side to all of this!

I talked to the adopting parents last night... and they were in shock... They said that anytime, just to let them know, and they will switch attornies!!! They said they want me to be comfortable with the attorney and not more stressed out by her.

Sure I can understand the attornies panic with the "what if she changes her mind because of all this"... but the adoptive parents, the adoption facilitator, and the agency aren't stressing... They all know I'm comfortable in my decision with the way things have been set to go... So why should this woman sit there and try to muck up everything just to meet her own personal schedule?
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  #10  
May 21st, 2006, 09:08 AM
appifanie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Sure I can understand the attornies panic with the "what if she changes her mind because of all this"... but the adoptive parents, the adoption facilitator, and the agency aren't stressing... They all know I'm comfortable in my decision with the way things have been set to go... So why should this woman sit there and try to muck up everything just to meet her own personal schedule?[/b]
agreed, and glad the adoptive parents are cool!!
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