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  #1  
October 21st, 2010, 11:58 AM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Carmel, CA
Posts: 5,872
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I think I need a reality check. I'm thinking of leaving my husband. Would you please give me your opinion as to whether my husband's reaction to today's events are normal, or abnormal?

Our 4-month-old baby fell off the couch today (Mommy found out the hard way he can roll over now!) I wasn't too worried at first, having been through this with our twins before, but then he vomited. Twice. The second time he vomited, I was freaking out. The phone rang, mid-vomit, and my husband looked at the caller ID, said "Oh hey, it's that duct-cleaning service I've heard good things about" and answered the phone. Started chatting about duct cleaning. Then, Ben's eyes started going back and forth, very quickly, like a seizure. I really freaked out. I told him to hang up because I needed to call the doctor's office immediately. He kept chatting. I was holding a onesie, and started swatting him with it because I was freaking out and here he was chatting about ducts.

DH said, OW! What are you hitting me with?? I said, a onesie. He said, what, is it made of metal?? I said, it's a bear onesie. You are a giant walking girlie man. Our son may have just had a seizure - hang up and say you have a medical emergency!

Finally he gets off the phone, and I call the doctor. They say the eye movement is a common baby thing, and probably not related to the fall, but that the doctor wanted me to bring him in in an hour so I wouldn't have to go to Emergency. I tell DH we have an appointment. He says, why don't you take him since it's your fault he fell. I'll stay here and clean the house, this place is such a mess. It's dirtier than when I left it yesterday (he works 24 hr shifts). Why can't you clean more?

Did I mention I have 3 kids in diapers in the house? The twins are walking tornadoes and destroy things faster than I can keep up with. I swept and mopped the house yesterday, but there are still crumbs everywhere from the last snack time. This is what DH is complaining about. While his son is still being mopped up from the last vomit attack.

I say, you don't want to go to the doctor to see if Ben is ok? He says, no.

I say, you don't want to go to the doctor to give your wife moral support? (I am crying my eyes out after all). He says, no, it's your fault, and the house is a mess. I'm staying here.

So I ask you. Is it just me & the hormones, or is DH a giant *****? I told you both sides. Yes, I swatted him with a onesie. But I think I am a very good person and wife overall and deserve at least some compassion, and even if I don't, our son certainly does. I should also add my husband is always weird when it comes to injuries/illness. He goes out of his way to not offer compassion like he's trying to toughen up our two-year-olds or something. And now, our 4-month-old. Let alone how he is with me when I'm sick - I actually have to do more because he simply disappears rather than offer extra help. It's very weird and frankly I'm sick of it. I don't think I can do this anymore.
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Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10

12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue

6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!



Last edited by LisaB; October 21st, 2010 at 12:01 PM.
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  #2  
October 25th, 2010, 07:23 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
Wow!!!! I don't know what to say to that! I can't get over he wouldn't get off the phone. I don't think you did anything horrible by hitting him with the onesie at all!!!! How did the Dr appt go? Is he ok?? I think you need to sit down with your hubby and have a heart to heart with him. I think after that you will know in your heart the answer on what you want to do.
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  #3  
November 7th, 2010, 11:25 AM
Lonomia's Avatar Super Hot Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 2,256
If you (and your kids) are being treated like that on a regular basis I would seriously consider separating. How could he blow off your son's life off like that and turn it into something that you did wrong?

I am beyond sick and tired of being rudely nagged about the cleanliness of the house.
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  #4  
November 8th, 2010, 12:29 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lonomia View Post
If you (and your kids) are being treated like that on a regular basis I would seriously consider separating. How could he blow off your son's life off like that and turn it into something that you did wrong?

I am beyond sick and tired of being rudely nagged about the cleanliness of the house.
I agree. From your post he seems very disrespectful. If he does not understand what 3 kids in diapers can do to a house and how much work it truly is, you sound like you would be less stress if you separated.
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  #5  
November 10th, 2010, 10:58 AM
Lonomia's Avatar Super Hot Mommy
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Location: Vancouver, BC
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Have things improved any?
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  #6  
November 11th, 2010, 12:52 PM
pink_piggy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 1,262
*hugs* I have no suggestions I just wanted to give you some support. How is your LO? How are you? Keeping you in my thoughts.
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