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overwhelmed a lil.....


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  #1  
November 15th, 2010, 11:55 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: long island, ny
Posts: 1,247
We have 2 mths till we move in together and i've been feeling a lil worried about living with him. he does a lot of good things for us. He helps with the garbage. He take us to get nico's meds, his parents have helped us out so much. He helps with cleaning the dishes, he helps Clean up the living room sometimes. He cooks us breakfast almost every weekend. He's gotten better with cleaning the sink after he shaves and i wash his towel for him every week.

I'm overwhelmed about when we live together, having to do his laundry every week, cooking for all of us and cleaning a bigger apt. He and i talked about him doing his own laundry when i get overwhelmed also, he'll cook a few nights to give me a break. We all like different kinds of food and we decided together we'd cook whatever we wanted seperatly on the days that we didn't want the same food.

i'm getting a lil overwhelmed. Plus we've never lived together before and you are probly thinking why are trying to concieve a child if you've never lived together. He sleeps over on the weekends for over a yr now and holidays etc. We've been saving for a yr to be able to live together. I want a baby with him. I want to move in with him. I worry about how my son and him are going to react towards all 3 of us living together.

Larry is very stern. he says to nico, don't do this, don't do that. the lil things that annoys me, b/c he's not doing and thing dangerous and i'd like him to focus on positive reinforcement not negative. Nico has asked him to read to him and he says not now, then no 20 mins later. I feel like he has no interest in nico and THATS A BIG PROBLEM. my son comes FIRST!!

He has a hard time with Nicholas's disability and i wish that he'd understand Nicholas's temper tantrums. Nicholas is very sensitive. He has Early Childhood on set bipolar and was diagnosed by his doctor. Larry has read books on children with early onset bipolar. He's been to counseling with me. Nicholas is in counseling but we haven't had a session with all of us. I thought maybe that would be good. i have been meaning to call his therapist. Maybe she could help with getting Larry a better understanding of nico

Larry had a rough childhood, his father spanked him a lot and yelled at him His father was always snapping at him and he was a alcholic. He's been sober for over 20 yrs now. Larry doesn't want to be like him. I don't want that for us. Larry has NEVER laid a hand on me or Nicholas. When he hears of fathers/ mothers abusing their children he says that is sick and how could someone even thinkof doing that to their family. they are the people they love. how could someone get so mad to the point where they'd hurt their own child and wife. It happens though, i've seen it happen with my sister and her ex husband. My cousin's son's father. People are capable of being abusive. But if they stop the cycle before it starts and prevent bad things from happening b/c no one wants to be victim. I have been through abuse and i WONT ever let anyone hurt & I have a son now to think about and he comes FIRST! I want Larry to stop being so stern, stop with his attitude. I want him to be more involved with Nicholas's life and not ignore him or snap at him for the littlest things it hurts and i can't handle it.

I feel like trying for a baby is ruining our relationship and at what cost. I just thought that we'd be able to handle this. i'm miserable again and i thought that everything was going to be ok this 2nd month of concieving. I was on meds b.c of my bipolar. I've been mentally stable and i'm doing really good and i felt now was our chance. I'm at the best mind frame right now. I don't want to give up on having a child. I just want everything to go back to the way it was...when will it...
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Last edited by mommy_to_nico; November 15th, 2010 at 12:03 PM.
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  #2  
November 22nd, 2010, 06:46 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
You need to get the situation straightened out with Nico before adding another to the situation. I think counseling for all of you together would be a great idea. Have you talked to Larry about your concerns? I think those need to be addressed asap!!
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  #3  
November 30th, 2010, 07:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: long island, ny
Posts: 1,247
thanks jenn for commenting. we are going to counseling and getting things straightened out
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  #4  
November 30th, 2010, 05:47 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
I am glad things are getting worked out Keep me posted on how things are.
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  #5  
September 9th, 2011, 11:59 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: long island, ny
Posts: 1,247
we've been living together for 7 mths now and we are making progress, counseling, open communication and we've put ttc on hold. we want to work on our relationship first.
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  #6  
September 10th, 2011, 01:55 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 145
I agree with the pp that getting the current situation straighten out first b4 adding another child would be best...you child def should come first and larry needs to understand your sons needs and obstacles. ((hugs))
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  #7  
February 8th, 2012, 04:53 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 11
definitely make thigns right first with the existing children. bringing a child into a difficult world is truly unfair.
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