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The HARDEST decision I will ever have to make!


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  #1  
December 5th, 2010, 04:41 PM
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First of all, do not read this or reply if you are going to be judgemental or not be supportive. I have agonized over this decision. Never in a million years would I have ever thought I would have to do anything like this. Put yourself in my shoes as I tell the story!


I love my children more than anything. I would do anything for them in the world. I am not a perfect mom but I do the best I can.

With that being said, I am going to be sending my 8 year old Cody to go live with his dad. Permanently. I am signing off all rights to him. I feel like I have no other alternative. I have been agonizing and crying over this for days. I have spoken to very few people about this. But I need to let this all out.




I was with his dad for almost 11 years. It was a horrible, abusive, loveless, dead end marriage. I tried like hell to make things work with him. I truly did. I had 2 kids from previous and in the course of the marriage, we had a son. Cody.

In November 2008 my life changed forever. I met Rob. I fell head over heels immediately. Things happened fast and I ended up finding out I was pregnant a little over a month after we met. I got the courage to get out of the marriage, not only because I was pregnant with another man's child but also because I knew there was no hope for the marriage.

For the first few months I was separated from my husband, he stalked me nonstop. Calling me upwards of 20 times a day and sending me at least that many text messages a day. He'd show up anywhere I was. He'd call my OB doctor to find out things about my pregnancy and to tell the doctor that he was my husband and to terminate my pregnancy. Mostly to tell me things would change blah blah blah. I'd heard the same song and dance before. Also, he wanted me to stop taking the progesterone to keep my pregnancy viable and to "let nature take it's course." He harassed my daughter nonstop via yahoo messenger and facebook. He had Rob arrested for making a threat against him. Something Rob does not deny, he was trying to protect me and our unborn son. I finally got all the evidence I needed to file MENACING BY STALKING charges against him. But in turn for him dropping the charges against Rob, I had to drop the charges against him. I truly wish it didn't come down to that.

Wyatt was born and after that, out of the kindness of my heart, I let my ex and his family have visitation with Cody, even though nothing had been ordered by a court. My ex's mom was the person to pick Cody up and drop him back off to me. That quickly did not work. She'd bring Cody back 2-3 hours later than agreed upon on a school night with no explanation except "oh we lost track of time." She was continually lying to me. So I stopped the visitation and told them they needed visitation with a court's jurisdiction.

Christmas time rolled around and the calls and e-mails were coming in from my ex-MIL. I point-blank told her Cody was going nowhere and to basically f off. The next day, police coincidentally were at my house. Turns out I had an old warrant that I thought had been taken care of. For domestic violence (my part was self-defense!), I had been ordered 25 hours of community service. I completed it. I gave the paperwork to my ex to turn in since I did not drive at that time and he worked right around the corner from the courthouse. I don't know if he didn't turn it in because A. he didn't care B. he knew he'd need to use it against me later on or I'd like to think it's option C. that he just simply forgot. Anyhoo, the judge took pity on me and dismissed everything. But like I said it's coincidence I get into it with his mom one night and the next morning the police get an anonymous call from someone about the warrant.

As soon as that happened, we got our first visit from child services. For abuse against Cody. The investigator came out and in the end she realized it was pure BS. Even after interviewing Cody. She also stated if there was anything else we ever needed, don't hesitate to call her. I'll get to the next contact with her later.

Since Cody was not seeing his dad nor being brainwashed by him, things went back to normal and was peaceful for a long time. We started being a true family again.

My ex filed for divorce in Feb 2010 after the paternity test on the baby came back that ROB was the baby's father. Something we all knew anyways.

At that time, the family dynamic was still in place. We bought a camper and started camping every weekend. The kids loved it. Cody ate that up, being outdoors. Rob showed him how to fish. We'd have time around the campfire roasting marshmallows and just having fun. I was also completing school, something I always wanted to do when I was married to my ex but he never allowed me to do because he didn't want me making more money than him.

My ex and I both took a class called A-OK (Assisting Our Kids) which focuses on not putting the kids in the middle of a divorce. I took everything the people said to heart but I knew my ex never would. Also, we both spoke to a court counselor separately and it would be their recommendation of who would have custody of Cody. Naturally, I was recommended as the custodial parent.

Then it happened. The court granted visitation of Cody with my ex. I tried as hard as I could to fight it. I either wanted sole custody of Cody or supervised visitation. My attorney refused to even argue my case for me. He said the courts hear these things all the time and while my case was legit and I have proof, they can't decide what's a true concern and what isn't because they hear so much BS from other people. I remember crying to my attorney in a private room, BEGGING him to do something. He said he couldn't do anything. I'm sure he could. I told him this was going to end badly and that this is the worst thing that could happen. He assured me everything was going to be ok. Riiiiiiight.

So visitation started. Cody's 2nd grade year at school also started. He started off the school year amazingly.

We also bought a new home, in the same neighborhood. Just bigger, newer and nicer. I decorated Cody's room in CARS, his favorite movie. In a short time, he destroyed TWO sets of blinds and put the pieces down the vent. He tore a hole in his wall. He was sneaking food in his room and leaving banana peels and wrappers in there. We took everything out of his room except his mattress, bedding and clothes. He was grounded to his room for a month. He was allowed to come out to eat, get something to drink, use the restroom, bathe and go to school. The rest of the time he was in his room <hopefully> thinking about what he did wrong.

Around his birthday, his grounding was up. We had a party for Cody. He was doing ok. For about 4 days. One night, Rob let him sit in the "man den" which is our heated shed and watch a movie he had been looking forward to on TV. He kept coming in every 5 minutes to tell me this or that about the movie. Never once did he use the bathroom. Rob went outside and realized Cody was soaked all the way down to his feet. He also realized his recliner was soaked. Yep, Cody was too lazy to get up to go to the bathroom and had urinated all over himself and the shed.

At the same time, we noticed a foul smell coming from his room. Upon further investigating, we realized he was peeing the bed and had torn apart his mattress to hide toys in it from us. We threw away that mattress and now he sleeps on Wyatt's old crib mattress, since we co-sleep with Wyatt. Before he tore the mattress up and urinated all over it, the mattress was in PERFECT condition.

So the behavior issues were continuing. I had also been trying to get him some help. I tried our county MR/DD. We were denied because he only met 2 out of the 3 criteria for services through them. Remember the child services caseworker who said if we needed anything else to call her? I did. Her solution was to call our pediatrician who does not do anything with behavior issues and does not even prescribe meds for ADD/ADHD. Their solution was to take him to the developmental pediatrician I had taken Cody to when he was 3 because the regular pediatrician thought he might be autistic. This doctor was essentially useless in the past. I really had nowhere else that would deal with children this age for mental health. I also called the school guidance counselor who said for me to call the pediatrician Back to square one.

Cody expressed he wanted to go live with his father and we started thinking that might be the best thing for him. Rob and I talked to my ex and he stated he wanted custody of Cody. We had a meeting with my attorney and we told him we were going to let Cody go live with his dad. My attorney advised against this idea saying it would be hard for me to obtain custody of him ever again. I just now realize my attorney didn't want to do any actual work or make any changes to the current visitation schedule.
We had told my ex then to just get this divorce finalized and we would file for him to gain custody after the fact. That we really didn't need our attorneys and we would just go through the juvenile court. My ex agreed. HA! We had another court hearing and he had to open his mouth about it to his attorney. So they weren't willing to agree to anything to finalize the divorce. I pulled him aside (with the permission of my attorney) and told him for now we will have shared parenting...one week on, one week off...until we could do this. That seemed to satisfy him and his attorney and we agreed to a meeting in my attorney's office the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Also, we had a final divorce date set for January 28, 2011. But if we could agree on the terms of the divorce, we might be able to get it on the record and finalized before then.

I had parent/teacher conference with Cody's teacher last month. She said he was lying, not completing his work, being a disruption in class. I told her about our behavior issues at home too. We realized all this started around the time his dad started being able to see him. She said she was going to talk to him and let him know her concerns.

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving, we were ready for the meeting. An hour and a half before the meeting, my attorney calls me and says he has an eye exam that he "forgot" about an eye exam he had scheduled and he would get ahold of opposing counsel to reschedule, for sometime after Thanksgiving. We never heard from him again.

On Monday November 29th I am on my way to take Wyatt for his 15 month appointment with the pediatrician. I receive a phone call from child services. The school called them on us.

The allegations are: we LOCK Cody in his bedroom, Marissa shoots him with an airsoft gun and that Rob and I beat him.

The investigator comes out and sees none of the stuff is taking place and even goes to this kids schools to interview the kids.

The gun in question he was shot with? A nerf foam dart gun he had received for his birthday. Later that night Cody, Rob and Marissa were having a play nerf fight and Cody got shot in the eye. Total accident. The playing stopped, I looked at him and he was fine. No bruise or redness even. It was foam for pete's sake!

Yesterday I received a letter from my attorney. With it is a filing by opposing counsel for a guardian ad litem to be appointed for Cody because Cody has "expressed" to the school allegations of abuse and neglect. A hearing for the matter has been set for January 14, 2011. So that means while all this is going on, it's going to prolong the divorce even more!

I now realize I can't live like this. The rest of my family can't live like this. I have other children to think about. I have a fiance to think about.


Whether I have custody and my ex has visitation or he has custody and I have visitation...my ex is still going to be able to mess with me and my life through Cody. He's never going to get over me. He wants to see my life and relationship with Rob crumble. He thinks doing this I have no choice but to go back to him.







I have now decided to give Scott permanent custody of Cody. This is the most agonizing thing I have ever decided to do. I have been crying nonstop over this. I don't want to do this. But what's next? My ex and Cody claiming someone is sexually abusing him and one of us going to jail? Because that would be the only thing to top this allegation.

I just don't see any other choice. The mental health community won't do anything for us. The courts won't do anything for us. My attorney won't do anything for us.


I feel so trapped and alone. But I don't know what else to do.





Like I said, please don't bash me. Don't judge me. I just needed to get this out and tell someone. I don't have any family I can talk to. And I don't want someone trying to talk me out of this either.




I told Rob I am calling my attorney tomorrow and I want a FACE-TO-FACE meeting with him to tell him my decision. I want my attorney to see the agony on my face. I want him to see me breaking down crying because every time I talk about it or even think about it, that's what I do. I have tears streaming down my face right now. I never thought I would give up one of my children.


I love Cody sooooooo much. I truly wish it didn't come down to this. I love all my children. That's why I have to do this. I have other children I need to think about.
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  #2  
December 5th, 2010, 05:38 PM
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Hugs, Holly! I can't imagine what you and your family are going through. I know these decisions are just snap decisions - no mother wants to "give up" their child - but sometimes letting them go is what will be best in the end. I will be praying for your family, especially you and Cody.
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  #3  
December 5th, 2010, 05:41 PM
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Hi holly.... i saw ur post on FB..

Im so sorry for what your going through..I dunno what to say. I can relate in some sort. My ex has made my life HELL just because i have his kid. I want to take his rights away from my daughter but will he? but he LOVES making my life a living hell... so in that thought i feel your pain i really do. Im so sorry your going through this i cant even imagine this...i really cant. my heart is breaking for you...i cant even imagine going through all that with a child either..how heart breaking..... Are you okay with not seeing him anymore? i know you prolly thought so much about this.. my thoughts are with you and your family... <3
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  #4  
December 5th, 2010, 09:28 PM
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Did you ever figure out why his mood changed since seeing his father though? What if his father is the one abusing him or worse, sexually abusing him, and that's what's causing his behavorial problems?
  #5  
December 6th, 2010, 06:18 AM
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Hugs sweety - I cannot even imagine what you are going through. I was thinking along the same lines as Tiffany... perhaps something happened that is making him act out. Has he seen a psychologist? Not that it works for everyone, but my son was seeing one for a while and it helped him because he was able to express his feelings to an impartial person - he was having issues related to having no father or father figure. Good luck - I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
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  #6  
December 6th, 2010, 08:31 AM
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Thank you everyone for your kind words and understanding.

It reached the breaking point last night. We took him to his dad's house. Well his grandparents. Dear dad wasn't even home, his mom didn't know where he was. Grandma willingly took him in for us. She told me to take the week and think about it before I made any rash decision. She'd make sure he got to school and everything for the week. She knew the desperation in my voice and she said she understands what I am going through. She doesn't even know a fraction of what I am going through.

Whether I have custody and my ex has visitation or vice versa, my ex is going to always still mess with my life as long as he still has that link with Cody. My ex has some SERIOUS mental issues! I know it. Rob knows it. A lot of other people actually know it. I warned my attorney. I warned the court counselor. I warned the school. It has fallen on deaf ears.


Tiffany and Tanya, I hope nothing like that is going on. I would hate to ever find that out. Cody won't tell me much of what goes on there. And I don't want to pry and seem like I am "fishing" for information or interrogating him.

I have tried getting him help. My first choice was county MR/DD. Cody is special needs and slightly delayed. Sometimes he doesn't know what he is saying and we can't get him to focus to get a straight answer. He will answer yes when the ansewr is no and vice versa. But when they assessed him, he only met 2 of the 3 criteria for services through them.
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  #7  
December 6th, 2010, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Holly+4 View Post
I have tried getting him help. My first choice was county MR/DD. Cody is special needs and slightly delayed. Sometimes he doesn't know what he is saying and we can't get him to focus to get a straight answer. He will answer yes when the ansewr is no and vice versa. But when they assessed him, he only met 2 of the 3 criteria for services through them.
I'm really happy that the grandmother stepped up... it will give you some time to think.
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  #8  
December 6th, 2010, 12:06 PM
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I met with my attorney this afternoon. I just got home. I have a clearer head and feel much better after speaking to him.

I told him first off that if there was ever a time he needed to just listen to me, NOW was the time. I had tears streaming down my face. Even his assistant (before they called me back) asked me what was wrong and if I needed a glass of water or anything.

I told him what my wishes were. I told him I have thought long and hard over this. I'm not religious but I have PRAYED about this.

I told him about everything that was going on. Child services. I gave him the letter to the superintendant of the schools that I composed. he read it and praised me for standing up for myself. I gave him the copy of the allegations from child services.

He told me a judge would not just terminate my parental rights like that. A judge might have done that 10, 20 or 30 years ago. But too many times a parent just does it because they don't want to be financially responsible for the child. The only way I can terminate my parental rights is for my ex to get re-married and the stepmom wanting to adopt him. He did say I do have the right to never see Cody again if I so choose. But I would still have to pay child support. UNLESS we can get him and his attorney to agree to that in the divorce.

Right in front of me he dictated a letter to opposing counsel for his assistant to type up. It along the lines said:
*my client feels that your client is putting stuff into the child's head and destroying the child.
*child services has investigated and been out to the home and as far as we know, everything has been unsubstantiated and unfounded.
*with your child destroying the child, my client throws in the towel and your client can have full custody of the child. Since my client is not working and your client IS working and lives with his elderly parents, he is financially able to care for the child.
*there is no other issues in the divorce. My client wants nothing from your client except for him to move on and get out of her life. She wants no alimony, assets or anything else.
*please review this proposal with your client and get back to me.


Let me state for the record, I am NOT trying to get out of paying child support whatsoever. But I know my ex. He would go after me for the fullest amount possible. And if it weren't for HIM, I wouldn't have to give my child up. He would make sure regardless of the situation I am in, whether I am a SAHM or have a career, that I would pay and if for whatever reason (i.e. bedrest for pregnancy) I can't, he would make sure the state of Ohio revoked my driver's license or put me in jail. I would have absolutely no problem paying a minimum amount. But I also have other kids. And my attorney told me as long as I am paying child support, he still has that hold over me to mess with my life.

So that is what is currently going on. I have also been talking to friends about this. I only have a grandmother and cousins I can talk to about this. I don't have contact with my mom, dad or my sisters. That's a story for another time. Nothing to do with my ex.
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  #9  
December 6th, 2010, 03:40 PM
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Holly, I just want you to know I care about you and your family and what happens to you.

I must wonder about what all Scott is telling Cody. I know you feel you are trapped in a hole you can't get out of. This is a position Scott has constantly put you in many many times.

Rob has been the best thing to ever come into your life, and Cody's too for that matter. Please don't feel like you are bullied into something you don't want to do. Only do what is best for you and your entire family.

We had toileting problems with Dani last year. It turned out that her step-mom was abusing her and her sister. We only found out after a teacher over-heard her sister talking about cutting herself at school. DFCS was involved really fast. Now her sister lives with her maternal grandmother. and as you know, I have custody of Dani. It turns out things were happening when dad was on the road as a truck driver. Dani would be over there and dad not even be home. Dani no longer goes over there unless Dad is home. There are more issues to work out there, but as you say, that is a story for another day.

Holly, please calll me if you need to talk. You have my number and you know I am here always, night or day.

Love and hugs
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  #10  
December 6th, 2010, 07:06 PM
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Oh my goodness Holly, I cant imagine what your going through!!! The horrible stuff that man is putting in his head to get him to behave that way is unimaginable! My DH had a ds do some of the same similar stuff due to his ex putting stuff in his head, leaving the kids alone, back when he was 6, she had men in and out of there, ds even overhead one talking about how he killed his then wife, etc. I am glad someone in his family is supportive of you and what your going through. I know this has to be one of the hardest decisions that you will ever make. It is not easy to live with a kid who is exhibiting those behaviors, believe me I have been there too, he was doing exactly the same stuff just add in skipping school, pooping in the pants and stealing. If you feel you have exhausted all that you can do for him, then you are doing the best thing for him even though you know that isn't where he belongs. I will be thinking about you all!!
  #11  
December 6th, 2010, 07:13 PM
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Holly, i think something is seriously going on at Scott's. This just upsets me to no end. Heck I dont even know Rob in person, but i cant imagine he would ever do anything to ANY kid!!
Could Scott be doing all this just to get under your skin??
Could the lawyer make the school verify his actions at school & when it started?

And especially being that he lives with his parents (scott) could that have something to do with it, you left me, now this is what im stuck with?


If your lawyer doesnt stpe up and do something, get another lawyer.

I agree with Patty, you need us, we are here......call or text me!!


((hugs))





PS. Rob rocks!!
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  #12  
December 7th, 2010, 07:32 AM
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honestly , i dont know what to say holly. Im just sorry you and your son, cody and not to mention your whole family have to be under this stress.. How are your other kids taking it? Because when mama is stressed so are the kiddos! im just praying for you and the best out come. Your ex sounds super horrible...im so sorry your going through this. my heart is breaking.. but im sure this will make you much stronger my dear... Try to keep strong! <3
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  #13  
December 7th, 2010, 02:35 PM
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Thanks everyone. I am doing much better. I still have my moments where this is too much for me but I have an amazing support system in Rob, my closest friends and my amazing JM friends. Funny...I have some family...cousins and such...on my facebook friends list. The ONLY one to respond whatsover was my cousin Cari. But when my family is going through a difficult time, I make it a point to say something nice and uplifting for them. Oh well. C'est la vie. In the end, I know who is there for me.

Amber, it's taken its toll on the kids, the whole situation. The constantly having to yell at Cody was making Wyatt nervous. We couldn't go do anything fun as a family because we felt we needed to stay home and punish him, essentially punishing the other kids. The child services worker in our home, interrogating us like we were criminals and Wyatt wondering who this strange woman in the house and probably sensing the tension of the situation. Marissa being interrogated at school by this woman. I could go on and on......
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December 7th, 2010, 03:47 PM
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isn't child services at the ex's house too? Sounds like it's needed if they're not. Not an easy situation
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  #15  
December 7th, 2010, 08:47 PM
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No they're not. For one, the allegations were made against Rob and me. For two, I am sure somehow they would get out of it. His sister works for child services. Once they realize my last name, they put two and two together. This last caseworker apparently spoke to her. Of course she bashed me. I'm the devil. But her brother's a saint. It's all very frustrating!
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  #16  
December 9th, 2010, 11:03 PM
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Get someone she doesnt know to make a complaint, say its a concerned relative. That happens here all the time from what I've heard. I know if it was me, I would make a HUGE thing about his sister working there, saying she should not be allowed to touch the file due to conflict of interest.
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  #17  
December 10th, 2010, 05:10 AM
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She's not actually a caseworker, she is head of the entire security there. Not only is child services in that building but so is child support for our county. But still when they see the last name they put it together because it's a relation by the name. And like I said she thinks I am pure evil. I have never gotten along with this woman. EVER.

I'm doing a lot better. I'm trying to make things as normal as possible for my other kids. I have my moments when this is especially hard. I have been praying a lot. Asking for guidance. But in the end, for everyone involved, I know I am doing the right thing.

I havee had a lot of positive response for this. I don't ask anyone to like my decision. I don't even ask anyone to understand either. I just ask people to respect it. A lot are and just giving me words of encouragement and wisdom. I have a friend IRL who is just being plain mean about it. Posting all sorts of snarky statuses and stuff directed toward me. I am not sure how long our friendship is going to last. She knows what we have put up with. She went camping ALL summer long with us. She lives right around the corner from us. I could literally walk to her house. Her daughter is Wyatt's babysitter. I thought she was a true friend but I guess in times like these, you find out who your friends are. She's gotta think too....we loaned them $900 this summer. We haven't made a huge issue but have once paid us $50 and another time they told us to keep the $110 we owed their daughter for the week watching Wyatt and they would pay her that week because we hadn't gotten to the bank yet and the daughter was leaving for a last minute trip out of town. Told us to apply it to what they owed us. So since July we have gotten $260 so far. Supposed to be paying us something every month, even if it's $20. Wonder what she would think if we took them to small claims court over the money. I'm not trying to be snarky but if that's how she's going to be and they have literally made no real effort to pay us back...well with friends like that, who needs enemies, right? The only sad thing is we will lose out on the most awesome babysitter we ever had.
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  #18  
December 14th, 2010, 03:10 PM
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Holly I'm going to be brutally honest with you. But I think you are doing a big mistake. You are giving up on Cody at a time when he needs you the most.

I saw a show on Dr. phil a couple of months ago about a parent who wanted to return her adoptive child back to the orphanage because the child was out of control. Dr. Phil told her that she couldn't give up on the child.

You have to put yourself in Cody's shoes. He grew up in a house where (using your words) was a horrible, abusive, loveless, dead end marriage. Kids are smart and absorbe everything. They know what goes around in the house. And sometimes our actions reflex on our children. And in the mix of this you separate from his father and get pregnant by another man. All this probably made Cody confuse and upset but he probably didn't show it. He probably never grieved the situation and he may be grieving by acting up. He needs help. I understand you are doing everything you can....but don't give up... keep trying. Do it for Cody. There is great potential for Cody, he has showed you by doing great in school. He just needs help. I'm sure there is noone else who will give him the love, attention and protection he needs but his mother.

It's not easy being a parent...there are good days and bad days.
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  #19  
December 14th, 2010, 07:09 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
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How ya doing Holly?? How are things going for everyone?
  #20  
December 14th, 2010, 09:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 2,090
Quote:
Originally Posted by KAY MOM View Post
Holly I'm going to be brutally honest with you. But I think you are doing a big mistake. You are giving up on Cody at a time when he needs you the most.

I saw a show on Dr. phil a couple of months ago about a parent who wanted to return her adoptive child back to the orphanage because the child was out of control. Dr. Phil told her that she couldn't give up on the child.

You have to put yourself in Cody's shoes. He grew up in a house where (using your words) was a horrible, abusive, loveless, dead end marriage. Kids are smart and absorbe everything. They know what goes around in the house. And sometimes our actions reflex on our children. And in the mix of this you separate from his father and get pregnant by another man. All this probably made Cody confuse and upset but he probably didn't show it. He probably never grieved the situation and he may be grieving by acting up. He needs help. I understand you are doing everything you can....but don't give up... keep trying. Do it for Cody. There is great potential for Cody, he has showed you by doing great in school. He just needs help. I'm sure there is noone else who will give him the love, attention and protection he needs but his mother.

It's not easy being a parent...there are good days and bad days.
I have to agree with you. I may be a semi lurker here and not post too much on this area of the board, but if the kiddos problems seem to stem from the visitation it will only get worse when he has custody and that kiddo needs you. I can tell it's hell, it sounds like hell, and I know it'd be easy to think it would be a better situation... but I think it might make it worse

My boyfriends son acted out in some pretty bad ways 2 years ago. Through counseling we learned that kids tend to kind of snap when they can't vocalize what they feel inside. So the peeing in bed, destroying belongings... those are all signs that something is going on in his head so he takes it out in the only way he can understand. I'd really be pushing for the answer to the root of the problem, because giving up custody when those problems stemmed from visitation just seems like hell is going to explode inside that little boy and he won't have any idea how to vocalize it, and it might be too late for you to step in if your rights are terminated, ya know?

I hope this doesn't seem like an attack or anything, it really is just me going through some similar things with my SO's son and realizing that sometimes the best thing is to keep moving forward even though it kills us inside. It sounds like a rough situation, but I think giving up custody is not the right thing to do, it might make the entire situation worse

Just my thoughts though, and it's not an attack, so I hope it doesn't seem like that.

Keep your head up miss, hopefully your little one gets his head straight soon and is happy again like the kid he used to be.
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