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  #1  
June 4th, 2006, 05:47 PM
Bekah's Avatar happy 2 be a girl mommy!
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
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well , i'm really in a doozy

b/f and I have been going out for 2 and a half years next month, and plan on tying the knot in the next two.
BUT big problem, his mother hates(or seems to) my friggin' guts!! We haven't talked in 6 months, all because she decided to up and "be mad" at me for no apparent reason and expects ME to apologize and come running to her to make this relationship work. The thing is , I don't think thats fair and I don't even know what I did wrong . I am not allowed at his house or even like a block within it, she also has taken offence at my rents and won't talk to them either . I am so confused and hurt, and right about now I don't want anything to do with her. She also has a tendency be "nice" to me when i'm around, but than talk about me behind my back.

I can't stand this anymore, i've tried to reconcile with her but i'm sick of doing all of the work and being blamed. This makes b/f and i's relationship difficult and will make our future plans alittle warped.

what can I do??

<33
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  #2  
June 4th, 2006, 08:14 PM
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Location: Charleston, SC
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I've been playing this game with my mil for 7 years now. She is a ##### and that is all there is too it. She doesn't like me because I make her stepson happy.
I try and try to be nice to her and she is "nice" to my face, but then bashes me to every known person in our small little town. I keep trying to win her acceptance and try to make her like me, but so far nothing works. Dh tells me that nothing is ever going to work she is just going to hate me for the rest of her life.
I can only tell you that I keep trying to make nice to her, what your bf's mom seems to want you to do, and it does NO good. At least for me, so if I could do it all over again, we NEVER would have started talking to them again. Now I gotta keep trying for the rest of my ###### life
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  #3  
June 5th, 2006, 08:24 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
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Forget her. I have been doing the same thing with my MIL for the last 10 years now. I could care less if I ever saw or spoke to her again. I havent seen her in about 3 years now and she lives about 30 minutes away. The best thing you can do is just ignore her and be happy you dont have to deal with her
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  #4  
June 6th, 2006, 05:34 AM
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Quote:
Forget her. I have been doing the same thing with my MIL for the last 10 years now. I could care less if I ever saw or spoke to her again. I havent seen her in about 3 years now and she lives about 30 minutes away. The best thing you can do is just ignore her and be happy you dont have to deal with her [/b]
I agree! If she doesn't want to talk to you, you're off the hook and won't have to deal with her!
No further action is required on your part.
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  #5  
June 6th, 2006, 10:23 AM
whitlovesoak's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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i would see how your bf feels about this first but i agree with the other ladies, i wouldn't put any more effort into it. it sounds like you have done enough and it is draining you. talk to your bf about how she makes you feel. and make sure this won't strain your relationship. but i don't see a point to putting much more effort into it cuz it doesn't seem like she wants to fix anything!
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  #6  
June 9th, 2006, 03:15 AM
Bekah's Avatar happy 2 be a girl mommy!
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thanks everyone!!! I think i will take the ignore her advice, im pretty sure theres no hope in being "friends" with her... b/f agrees
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  #7  
June 9th, 2006, 05:21 AM
appifanie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Quote:
Forget her. I have been doing the same thing with my MIL for the last 10 years now. I could care less if I ever saw or spoke to her again. I havent seen her in about 3 years now and she lives about 30 minutes away. The best thing you can do is just ignore her and be happy you dont have to deal with her [/b]
I agree! If she doesn't want to talk to you, you're off the hook and won't have to deal with her!
No further action is required on your part.
[/b]
Agreed!!

My ILs LOVE DH's ex. Even though she cheated on him EXTENSIVELY (an orgy while he was at war and their young son was at home is the worst of her offenses there) and is just an icky, horrible person. I, however, am a lovely person and DH and I are so happy and she and I are nothing alike. They both hate me. His mom decided she hates me because (and this is what she told DH) I talk about my diet too much (I'm a vegan and I only spoke about my diet when she asked questions). His dad hates me because when the whole family was together for TGiving (including lovely ex) I sat in the attached dining room instead of sitting next to evil-ex on the sofa (she's threatened to beat me continuously since high school - almost 11 years ago!!!!!) MIL told DH she was going to email me right away to apologize for getting off on the wrong foot. That was 3+ weeks ago. I told him that everyday she doesn't contact me, I am relieved. And I am. Sure, crazy b**** hates me and she's a moron, but at least I don't have to talk to her!

Yes. Ignore her. Revel in the silence
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  #8  
June 23rd, 2006, 09:19 PM
ladyellise's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would give the advice to ignore her too. Let her come to you, dont do all the work if she's not willing to meet half way and have a relationship
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  #9  
June 23rd, 2006, 09:41 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Aww sweetie I am so sorry. Hopefully you can patch things up for the sake of your bf. My MIL used to hate my guts when we were dating but after we were married she finally realized she needed to accept me and now we are the best of friends. I hope this gives you some hope with your relationship with her.

(((HUGS)))
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  #10  
June 29th, 2006, 08:17 AM
Bekah's Avatar happy 2 be a girl mommy!
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Aw thanks everyone I feel better now
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