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How can people be so heartless???


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  #1  
August 31st, 2004, 11:45 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Tennessee
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Okay, my husband's uncle just died. My husband was very close to him and has taken it pretty hard. The worst part is, the poor guy died pretty much alone because his children would have nothing to do with him because their mom turned them against him when they got a divorce. (Their mom is a pathological liar by the way) Anyway, my husband's other uncle, the deceased's brother, went to tae care of things down in Alabama, drove all the way from Oklahoma to Alabama to take care of his brother's estate and such because he cared about him. Well, when he gets there, he gets opposition from the guy's kids. Yes, that's right, the same kids that wanted nothing to do with him while he was alive. They go in and take a bunch of his stuff like his wallet, social security check(illegal BTW), and his car. The watch and car were thigns that Ken was going to sell in order to help pay for the funeral and all. Well, the kids came in and took all this stuff and then tell Ken he can do whatever he wants with the body. they don't really care what happens to it. IT'S THEIR DAD!!! Ken says he was going to use some of the stuff to sell to help pay for the funeral, and his kids have the nerve to accuse Ken of just wanting to take everything! Ken says that's fine, then they can take care of the funeral arrangements, and they accuse him of not caring about his brother! That takes a lot of nerve if you ask me. How could they be so selfish and heartless??? They had nothing to do with him when he was alive, came in and took all his stuff after he died, and don't even care what happens to his body. Right now it is sitting in a morgue, and they don't even care! I just keep thinking about it being my dad. I could NEVER just leave my dad's body laying in a morgue and tell my aunts that they could do whatever they wanted with it because I just didn't care what happened to it. I just don't understand how they can be so heartless towards their own father!!! It's not even like he was a bad father. He worked hard his whole life so they could have a good life, and he loved them so much. One of his sons came and burned his car, yes BURNED his car, and he didn't even call the cops because he didn't want his son to get into trouble. He love those kids to death, and yet my husband, his nephew was more of a son to him then his kids ever were. I just don't understand it. I guess I never will. I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening to me whine!
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  #2  
September 1st, 2004, 03:34 AM
Janelle's Avatar Super Mommy
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That is sooo sad. I would be calling the cops on them!!!!!! ((Hugs))
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  #3  
September 1st, 2004, 04:15 AM
pooker's Avatar Veteran
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(((hugs))) it boggles the mind, doesn't it?
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  #4  
September 1st, 2004, 05:12 AM
zonapellucida
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That is horrilbe! I don't think they can legally take anything in the estate. I would check the laws for Alabama so they will have to give it back. If I were the uncle I probalby would have flattened them all. Is there a will????? OOOHHH this makes me mad!!!!
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  #5  
September 1st, 2004, 06:10 AM
oreokitten
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That's what my face looked like reading your post! That is so sad and horrible that people would act like that to their own father! Unbeleivable. Well I hope your DH and the other brother can find some way to work things out and give him a proper funeral and I hope those kids get what's coming to them!! Argg, makes me so mad for you! Hugs,
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  #6  
September 1st, 2004, 06:35 AM
Texas Mom
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I'm with you oreo!!!! OMG! Terrible, terrible!
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  #7  
September 1st, 2004, 06:35 AM
CMC CMC is offline
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Location: Londonderry, New Hampshire
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We have a phrase for people like this.......common as muck....I think you guys call it trailer trash over there....anyway, think it over, vent about it and then forget about it. They are not worth the emotional expenditure. It is obvious they have the breeding of pond weed and the social skills of a pack of hyenas (sp?)....scumbags such as that will get their come uppance. Mostly they go about life victimising themselves and blaming others for their situation and whilst others go on to be successful and more importantly happy and content....20 years down the line they look around and what do they see? The same situation, with the same user loser friends, in the same town swimming around in their own s***. Karma is a great equalizer.

chris
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  #8  
September 1st, 2004, 07:13 AM
I Heart 4x4
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Quote:
Originally posted by oreokitten@Sep 1 2004, 07:10 AM

That's what my face looked like reading your post! That is so sad and horrible that people would act like that to their own father! Unbeleivable. Well I hope your DH and the other brother can find some way to work things out and give him a proper funeral and I hope those kids get what's coming to them!! Argg, makes me so mad for you! Hugs,
My thoughts exactly!
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  #9  
September 1st, 2004, 10:02 AM
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I live in Alabama. It IS illegal for them to take anything from the estate if monies are owed anywhere for anything. The estate must be sold off to pay for final expences and for owed debts. Anyone who claims the estate prior to this being paid off has to take responsibility of paying off debts and final expenses. That is the law as i understand it. I have never had to deal with this before but other members of my family have gone through it.
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  #10  
September 1st, 2004, 12:01 PM
Ma2RayPooh
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that is just awful! i am sorry your family is going through this hard time and for them to make it even harder is just wrong. i hope everything turns out better soon.
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  #11  
September 1st, 2004, 01:51 PM
mom2one's Avatar Super Mommy
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That is just awful, and sad that it happens oh so often.
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  #12  
September 1st, 2004, 02:38 PM
kikimama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally posted by oreokitten@Sep 1 2004, 08:10 AM

That's what my face looked like reading your post! That is so sad and horrible that people would act like that to their own father! Unbeleivable. Well I hope your DH and the other brother can find some way to work things out and give him a proper funeral and I hope those kids get what's coming to them!! Argg, makes me so mad for you! Hugs,
Perfectly said Jeanelle!!
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  #13  
September 1st, 2004, 04:33 PM
alyssasmommy2001
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GEEZ!!!!!! They should feel lucky that they have a father who cared about them, and took care of them, and was really a dad to them, KWIM? My dad has done some crappy things to me and continues to do so, but I still talk to him and invite him over for holidays, and if he died, I would make sure that he had a proper burial, and I don't give a fig about his stuff. Sounds like he was really unapprecaited, which is really sad, because truly good parents are hard to come by sometimes.
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  #14  
September 1st, 2004, 05:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Norhern California
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Wow. That is terrible and so sad. I don't know how old they are, or if they have kids of their own, but maybe someday they'll realize the mistake they've made.
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  #15  
September 3rd, 2004, 01:39 PM
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Location: Tennessee
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Okay, my husband and I found out from one of his uncle's friends in Alabama that there was going to be a graveside service on Thursday morning. So, what did we do? We pack up Wednesday night when hubby gets home from work and drive from Illinois to Alabama to go to the service. When we get there, we were under the impression that his ex-wife paid for the service and all because that is what she told everyone, but, like I said, she is a pathelogical liar. My husband was the only family his uncle had there at the service, and he asked the funeral director who made the arrangements and everything. He said the state paid for it since nobody took responsibility for the body. My husband is upset about this because he felt so bad because he wished he could have paid for a funeral himself, but we just don't have that kind of money. Then, after his uncle is already buried, we are all standing around talking (some of his uncle's friends and neighbors were there) and two of his kids show up. David has to introduce himself to his own cousins. How pathetic is that? Then, he starts talking to them, and they are asking him, the nephew, questions about their own father because they have no idea about anything about him because they have had nothing to do with him for 10 years. David tells them how much he loved them and how he used to watch in the papers for things they would do in school and clip them out and keep them. And, he had a bunch of birthday cards he had sent to them that had been returned that he had kept as well. This seemed to surprise them a lot because of things their mom had told them about their dad, so David stood there for a good hour or so telling them about their dad and things he had done and accomplished and his personality and things they should look for when they were going through the house. The daughter, Amanda, you could tell felt guilty and started to cry. His son, Rob, just kind of stood there really silent, and then Amanda admitted that her mom was a liar and they were just starting to realise through going through the house and his stuff that they had been told a lot of lies about their dad. They are starting to come around, and they let David go into the house and help them go through things. he helped them sort through some things, and they have agreed to stay in touch with David, who they hadn't seen since they were little because of their mom. It's just so sad that it takes something like this for his kids to finally realize that their dad was a good person. Now, they wish they had a relationship with him and are grieving, but it's too late. They can never have that now, and they know that, and you can tell they feel so guilty and that they are really mad at their mom. It's also sad that it takes something like this for them to begin to stay in contact with their cousins and aunts and uncles. I am just glad things worked out better than we thought and that his kids are coming around, and so is my husband. I am just sad for them because it's too late for them to get to know their dad. Anyway, that's an update on what has been going on. Things are looking better. Thanks for all your support!! You ladies are great!
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  #16  
September 4th, 2004, 02:11 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: New Brunswick Canada
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Your update sounds a bit better. It's horrid how some people react in divorces, but death often brings out the worse in people (I worked at a funeral home and you wouldn't believe what some people do). I hope your husband is feeling better.
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