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hi im new here and dont relly know what to do. me and my partner been together 2 years and have a 1yo daughter. over the past year my partner and i have had it really tough with trying to support our family etc and its effecting our relationship quite a bit to the point where i question if i love him or not. hes quite often angry and yells alot has a very short temper and somtimes nothing i do is good enough. he also quite often doesnt hold true to his word which hurts alot to. my friends think i should leave him but sometimes i think ive gone through too much with to give up now and really want our daughter to have two parents. we are hopefully going to councilling soon so i hope that will help.
sorry about it being so long, i just hope someone out there understands because no one around me does...
Financial stress is probably the worst thing to hit a relationship and I completely understand what you are going through. My husband and I have drifted apart so much due to our financial problems, ever since the recession we've been going through a really tough time. We have good and bad days but I think counselling, if your partner is open to it, might save you in time. We've just about started talking openly... but it has taken a lot of time...
He is the man and should be supportting the family. Can you image how he feels that he can't do that right now? How much a failure that may make him feel like?
With any relationship, you need to get the heart of the feelings, not always the heart of the problem. This is a prefect example. There may not be too much that either of you can do right not to help your financial situation, but you can help each other through it by listening to each others true feelings and trying to be supportive to the other. You also have to realize that when he or even you lashes out, it is not to mean, or hurtful purposely. It is because that is how you are feeling and you don't like it. You therefore wnt your partner to help make that negative feeling go away but you just don't know how to ask for that, or sometimes you don't know how to accept that help because you can't see it.
Counselling will help you learn how to do these things, however you can start on these things now. Help him feel better about his role, take time to forget about the problems 1 night a week. I call it my no world night because nothing else exists but me and him abd just being together. Express your fears/hurts in a way that he can hear and suport, not in a way that makes him feel worse about himself.