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  #1  
February 1st, 2011, 02:30 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 320
hi im new here and dont relly know what to do. me and my partner been together 2 years and have a 1yo daughter. over the past year my partner and i have had it really tough with trying to support our family etc and its effecting our relationship quite a bit to the point where i question if i love him or not. hes quite often angry and yells alot has a very short temper and somtimes nothing i do is good enough. he also quite often doesnt hold true to his word which hurts alot to. my friends think i should leave him but sometimes i think ive gone through too much with to give up now and really want our daughter to have two parents. we are hopefully going to councilling soon so i hope that will help.

sorry about it being so long, i just hope someone out there understands because no one around me does...

thanks for listening
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  #2  
February 1st, 2011, 01:11 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: California
Posts: 5,500
Sorry you are going through this. I think counseling is a great idea.
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  #3  
February 7th, 2011, 07:46 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
Counseling is a great idea, especially if everyone is ready to be open and honest, and take it all serious. When will you guys go for you first session? I hope things get better for you both.
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  #4  
February 8th, 2011, 03:00 PM
BlueEyedButterfly's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 136
hope things get better.
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  #5  
March 5th, 2011, 01:12 PM
Kalia20's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: ontario canada
Posts: 5,888
Financial strain can do a lot to a person, its very very stressful. Hope it gets better
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  #6  
March 14th, 2011, 07:49 AM
moonshine's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 63
Financial stress is probably the worst thing to hit a relationship and I completely understand what you are going through. My husband and I have drifted apart so much due to our financial problems, ever since the recession we've been going through a really tough time. We have good and bad days but I think counselling, if your partner is open to it, might save you in time. We've just about started talking openly... but it has taken a lot of time...
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  #7  
March 14th, 2011, 08:13 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: London England
Posts: 553
He is the man and should be supportting the family. Can you image how he feels that he can't do that right now? How much a failure that may make him feel like?

With any relationship, you need to get the heart of the feelings, not always the heart of the problem. This is a prefect example. There may not be too much that either of you can do right not to help your financial situation, but you can help each other through it by listening to each others true feelings and trying to be supportive to the other. You also have to realize that when he or even you lashes out, it is not to mean, or hurtful purposely. It is because that is how you are feeling and you don't like it. You therefore wnt your partner to help make that negative feeling go away but you just don't know how to ask for that, or sometimes you don't know how to accept that help because you can't see it.

Counselling will help you learn how to do these things, however you can start on these things now. Help him feel better about his role, take time to forget about the problems 1 night a week. I call it my no world night because nothing else exists but me and him abd just being together. Express your fears/hurts in a way that he can hear and suport, not in a way that makes him feel worse about himself.

GL
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