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So yesterday was a birthday party for the daughter of a married couple DH and I are good friends with. Unfortunately I had to work from 7 to 7 that day, and the party was at 1. DH went and got a B-Day present for her, and took our kids over to the party. I was able to be there from 2 to 3 while I was on lunch break, but then I had to go back to work.
This girl is an only child, so her B-Day parties are a pretty big deal in her family. Her grandparents, and aunts travel from all over the state to be there. Her dad (*J) has one sister (a very attractive sister I might add) and she was there too.
Now even though this is a child's B-Day party, there is never a get together in this couple's house where there is not copious amounts of alcohol available. It's no big deal to me, I like to drink as much as the next person, and all of the parents there are mature adults. I didn't drink while I was there, because, obviously I had to go back to work.
So finally 7 that night rolls around and I am texting DH asking him what he wants me to bring home for dinner. He replies with some nonsensical string of letters grouped together in random order that do not even remotely resemble any kinds of words recognizable in the English language. At this point I am completely clueless to the fact that he is still at the B-Day party with our 2 children, and completely drunk off of his *****. I am naively thinking that he is, and has been at our home, for some time now, and the drivvle he is texting me is because of his largish fingers trying to punch the virtual qwerty keyboard on his touch screen phone (which he has complained about at great length in the past because he can never hit the right letter and is always mispelling words when he texts me anyway). So after asking him to tell me 2 more times what it is he is trying to say, I finally get a response that I am able to decipher.
I head out of work, swing by the fast food joint we agreed on, and head home. When I walk through the door I am befuddled as to why most of the lights are still off, and the kids and DH are nowhere to be found. His car was in the driveway, so I know they should be here. Finally our youngest daughter comes out of her room and is showing me all of the wonderful toys and crafts she had done at the party. Then I notice that I hear the shower running. DH NEVER showers at night.
The kids and I sit down at the table and eat our dinner. I am completely done by the time DH comes up from downstairs. He sits down to eat and asks me why I didn't get anything for myself. I tell him "uh...I already ate".
He eats his dinner and then tells me that he should "never drink with sad people". I am still thinking at this point that he has been home for some time now, and his cousin must have come over and they both got to drinking and listening to her talk about her drama-filled life. He goes on to say that *J and his sister must still be sad about the death of their dad about a month ago, because they were drinking him under the table. I said "and why did you feel the need to keep up with them? Did you forget that you had to drive home with 2 little kids?" DH says that he thinks *J's sister likes him and just kept asking him to drink with her. And again I said "and she did realize that you had to drive home with 2 little kids, right?" At this point I'm getting livid, and it's all starting to sink in. He had been at that party drinking since 1 in the afternoon til just before I got home at about 7:30 that night with *J's very attractive sister who was insisting that he drink with her. He was plowed.
He then gets a text on his phone. I asked him who it was from, and he said it was *J's wife asking if he made it home okay. He sits there texting her back for what seemed like FOREVER. DH eventually goes out to his mancave in the garage where he passes out for the night, and of course I grabbed his phone to see what these texts were all about. *J's wife had indeed texted to see if he made it home, to which DH replied "Yeah, thanks, and tell *J's sister see ya later". Of course there were numerous spelling errors, but I was more than able to get the gist of what he had written.
I'm sorry to make this so long, but after going over and over this in my head, I am trying to pinpoint exactly what is making me so upset. I feel like I've just been cheated on or something. Is it the fact that a pretty girl, who may or may not be sexually interested in my husband and he might see once a year, has the ability to make him totally abandon his common sense as a father to the point that he gets completely wasted drunk with her, then drives our children home? Is it the embarrassment that maybe during the whole time I was not there that DH and this girl were carrying on like Junior High kids with a crush in front of our mutual friends? Is it the shadowy figure in the back of my head telling me that something more potentially happened between the two of them, even though I'm 99% sure it didn't? Maybe it's the other shadowy figure saying that my husband secretly WANTED something more to happen?
I feel better having just purged all of this out of me. If you've made it this far, thanks for listening.
(((HUGS))) Wow, I would be super pissed too!!!! I think I would be feeling the same way wondering what really all went down if he is telling the other person that he will see her around. That was just inappropriate in IMHO. Did you talk to him about it after he finally sobered up or did you just lock him out in the mancave
I would be LIVID that he drove drunk with your children in the car. If he wants to be stupid enough to put his own life at risk, that is one thing - but when it comes to the children YOU helped create, it is quite another.
Me and my husband have a deal that we don't drink without the other. Almost all cheating / almost cheating scenarios happen when alocohol is involved and our inhibitions are lowered, and we love each other enough to want to prevent any issues before they even have a CHANCE at happening.
Maybe you should try to work out something like that as well!
Hope you're feeling better about everything by now