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  #1  
June 24th, 2006, 07:51 PM
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OK I am really PO'ed. I have tried to be nice but I don't know how much longer I can do it. Some of you may know what I am talking about, as I have posted this in other forums on JM too.

OK my DH started being friends with a girl from his work. He is a friendly guy and yes he flirts but so do I. We have made a deal as long as the flirting does not go overboard, we are within rights because that is how both of us are naturally.
He gave this girl his e-mail address and the home phone number, since the cell is mine and mine alone (my dad pays that because he owes us a bunch of money but also because of some problems DH & I have had in the past). The first time they talked on the phone, I was gone but he did tell me they talked and I was like "ok whatever." Then a little while later while he was doing dishes and her number came up on the caller ID. I asked him if he wanted to answer it but he told me to since he was doing the dishes. As soon as she heard my voice, she immediately hung up. Then my DD called me into the bedroom and told me how my DH was telling this girl I am so lazy and jealous, blah blah blah. So I confronted DH about it. He did tell her I do get the tendency to get jealous but he never said anything about me being lazy, he knows it is not an easy job of what I do. They were talking about this girl's old partner, which after meeting her, I realized they were talking about her and not me.

So about a week later, she starts IMing me on the computer, apparently Scott had given her my AOL SN. I talked to her and then she had to go. So a few days later I get a phone call on my cell from her, he had given her my cell #. I was a little irritated about that since he does not pay the bill so he has no right giving my cell # to anyone.
Then the CONSTANT text messages and calls start coming in. I mean, to the point where I was unplugging the home phone and turning off my cell. It seemed like day and night, she was constantly calling and texting me and ALWAYS wanting to rant to my DH about this and that.

Then they worked together and she said she was concerned because my DH's sugar was dropping and wanted to know if I wanted her to follow him home. I fed into her BS and told her yeah, evn though later he said his sugar was fine, he didn't even know she had said that, she told him I said it was just alright for her to come over.

So we started to all be friends, I was still keeping her at bay a little because I just knew there was something funny about her.

Well, last weekend she got into a huge blow-out with her parents and she called me up crying about it and asked DH & I both if she could come stay with us. We took pity on her, even though she was only telling half the truth we found out later on from her mother.

Here is what happened in just TWO days of her staying with us:
*she said she wanted to sleep with my DH and get pregnant, then asked me how I would feel about them having a child together and him paying her child support. She said it was because she knew he wanted more kids but that I was not able to give him anymore. Well, obviously that one is false.
*on Monday, DH & I were arguing and then were trying to talk things out in the kitchen. She went to the back bedroom (ours) to pout because she was upset about what was going on with her parents and it was her grandmother's birthday. She actually used her cell phone to DEMAND I send Scott back there twice to talk to her...TWICE!
*Scott had to confiscate her muscle relaxers because she kept threatening to OD on them and we also had to keep talking her out of driving her car into a guardrail or a ditch. She was just trying to get attention and it worked. But I CANNOT have someone like that around my children.
*she either wanted for the 3 of us to sleep in Scott's & mine's bed or just for her & Scott and me sleep on the couch. EXCUUUUSE ME?!

By Tuesday when they worked a daycar together, I couldn't deal with it, especially since DH told me I was throwing everything out of proportion. He actually was taking HER side in all this. So I made a decision...she needed to GO! So I packed all her stuff up and it was all sitting in the yard when they got back here. I was nice enough to be out there to watch the stuff, then when I saw them pull up, I walked in the house and DH came in after me, while she packed all her stuff up and peeled away. DH & I argued for a while, then he saw my point. We looked each other in the eyes and told each other how much we loved each other, how we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with each other. We both started crying and it was a fresh start to our marriage.
During the time we were hashing this out, she kept texting me, asking me why the hell I didn't talk to her if I had a problem with something she said, how sorry she was, blah blah blah. Then she was calling the house phone and I unplugged it. She was paging my DH on his pager with 911 in it but he ignored it. I still had my cell on in case someone REALLY needed to get ahold of me. She called & I simply answered it saying for her to never call again. Then she sent me a text saying "I want my f&%$@*! chargers." Well, apparently I had forgotten to pack them so i sent her a text back saying Scott would take them to work with him the next day but if I found out she was hanging out at the station, I was going to call the company to report her....you are not supposed to be there after your shift, let alone the fact she does not work out of DH's station. So she sent me a text back saying "ya sure ok."
Next day, Scott took the chargers with him, she did try to hang around the station until he told her to LEAVE. She wanted to still come back to our home but he flat-out told her NO! So she left after DH got rude again.
She also threatened to call Child Services on me. For what? They were just out to my home back in April due to some misunderstanding regarding my son with ADHD. The worker inspected my home, interviewed all of us and closed the case with nothing further.
So I told her if she messes with my children and takes this out on them, I will have no choice but spill the beans about something:
Her and my DH works private EMS. For those of you who don't know, EMS is a REALLY competitive market. She has a "friend with benefits" who works for the county, whom she is giving company information to. The company is suspicious of her, just don't know who she is talking to. They haven't been able to prove anything, they think it is a dispatcher but I know the guy's name and I know what department he is in. This guy is also on probation in his job because of her, because they have sex at his work. She is still in her probationary period, she has only been with the company for 2 months. So I told her if she didn't leave my family alone, I was going public with it and she will NEVER work EMS in this town again because the company will fire her and once it gets out she was leaking company information, no company will EVER hire her, for fear of their stuff being leaked out.

Friday, Scott had picked up a shift with her before all this stuff happened. He was thinking of calling off but I told him no, he needed to still work. He has been with the company for quite sometime and if he called off for a personal problem with her, it might reflect badly on HIM and he is up for a promotion. I just told him in the future to not pick up shifts again with her. Well, the whole shift yesterday she was boo-hoo'ing about why can't they still be friends, blah blah blah. He told her it wasn't a good idea.

Today, she calls the rig phone after I gave DH the wonderful news about my BFP. He asked her why she was calling and she said "it's just a habit." He told her it was a habit she needed to get out of because he was committed to his marriage to me. He also told her the news of my BFP and she hung up on him, probably realizing she has no chance of stealing him away from me, especially since I am pg. I was sooooo proud of DH because he has always tried to be the "nice guy" with other people.

While I was on the phone with him this evening, she was calling the rig phone...again. I just don't know what to do. I was hoping I wouldn't have to go public with this information, that she might get the hint. But obviously she is not. I am not a vindictive person but if she keeps calling my bluff with no action from me, she might never leave my family alone. I just want a stress-free, drama-free life and pregnancy. Is that too much to ask?

If you read all of this, thank you! I know it was kinda long.
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  #2  
June 24th, 2006, 08:11 PM
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Well everyone has a right to do what they want BUT GIRL I'D NEVER LET MY HUSBAND GET THAT CLOSE TO A GIRL! I can't believe you even let it get started! She was way out of hand and I can't beleive you let some female call your husband... and let her stay with you after she wants to get pregnant with YOUR HUSBAND!

I mean she was totally out of line of course starting anything with a married man but if ya'll are ok with that then I mean you can't really blame the girl!

I dont know.. If you're comfortable with your husband being that close to females then I you are wayyyyy more strong than me.. But I'd never of let it go as far as you did!
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  #3  
June 24th, 2006, 08:29 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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She said that AFTER she moved in here. That is when I realized she needs to go and we need to cut her off as a friend.

My DH has many female friends, I don't get too upset. I try to be understanding, especially since most of my best friends are guys. But nothing more with them.

I like to think we have a solid enough relationship because we have not had this problem before with any of his female friends.
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  #4  
June 24th, 2006, 09:42 PM
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WHEW girl!! I swear if it was me, I'd be reporting her butt as fast as I could! But I know you want to be diplomatic about it, so maybe next time the girl calls, answer and tell her its her last warning, back off or be exposed for what she is. If she persists, well...you gave her every opportunity in the world to save herself and her reputation. Look at it this way...youre only doing what is necessary to protect yourself, your family, and your marriage. This girl does seem a little unstable though. Good luck!
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  #5  
June 24th, 2006, 10:11 PM
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Quote:
WHEW girl!! I swear if it was me, I'd be reporting her butt as fast as I could! But I know you want to be diplomatic about it, so maybe next time the girl calls, answer and tell her its her last warning, back off or be exposed for what she is. If she persists, well...you gave her every opportunity in the world to save herself and her reputation. Look at it this way...youre only doing what is necessary to protect yourself, your family, and your marriage. This girl does seem a little unstable though. Good luck![/b]
Thank you. I don't answer his rig phone because he only has that when he is actually working. But I am contemplating on whether or not to send her a text message but I don't want to seem like I am harassing her either. She isn't calling the house phone anymore, just calling him when he is working. Scott has told her not to call my bluff because when it comes to my family, I do not play around. And he knows this, that is why he was trying to warn her. Last time someone messed with my family, I exposed her for the fraud she was (telling everyone they were such a happy family when she actually lost custody of her kids to her MIL back in the mid-90's because she was a lousy mother). This girl STILL has not shown her face in the local chat room to us but she decided she was going to treat my children like crap.

Anyhoo, I AM trying to be diplomatic but I can only take so much. It is stressing both Scott & I out. He just told me a bit ago he is calling the captain his next shift if she even calls once to report her for harassment. They are not on social time when working and even when he is transporting a patient, she is calling to bug him. I swear, I don't even call him that much when he's working because I know he has a job to do because he is the only one supporting this family. I am lucky if I talk to him 3 times in a 24 hour shift.
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  #7  
June 25th, 2006, 08:20 AM
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whewwwwwwwwww I would have stomped a mudhole in that girl and Im not lying.. First off you are a bigger woman than I am.. I would not have allowed some girl to call and talk to my husband anything that has to be said could be said at work and there is no need to call my home.. And then letting her move in because of her personal problems.. I simply would have said Sorry for you not my issue there is no way you are living here especially seeing as you know your husband flirts.. I know it may be harmless but with a man flirting with a woman sometimes it isnt harmless on her end.. And as it turns out it wasnt.. The second she said I want to get pregnant with your husband I would have jumped up snatched her up and proceeded to whoop her ***** like there is no tomorrow.. And heaven forbid my DH sided with her even once.. He would have gotten slapped upside his head once for being stupid.. Your post has me so mad right now lol I dont know how you put up with that and Im glad she is gone.. If I were you I would turn in that information.. Seems to me that she isnt understanding that she needs to leave your family alone..
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  #8  
June 25th, 2006, 11:26 AM
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DH & I are actually going to spill all tomorrow, including DH filing a harassment complaint against her.

DH just told me that not only is she still in her initial 90 day probation, she had 90 days added to it because of complaints against her by other employees not acting professional, talking on her cell even during transport, etc.
With everything, I will be surprised if she still has her job after all this but serves her right for being so obsessive. I have already filed a police report over the phone for all the text messages and stuff so if she decides to persist, she is going to be looking at a restraining order.
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  #9  
June 25th, 2006, 04:14 PM
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The best thing to do is just ignore her, ask DH not to talk to her at work unless it is strictly work related, when she calls simply say "Im sorry but we no longer wish to speak to you. Please stop calling"

Retaliation always has a way of backfiring. Be the bigger person and let things go. she is wanting attention, and the more you give her with ultiamtums or talking...the more she will want. Simple as that.
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  #10  
June 26th, 2006, 10:15 PM
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You are alot more patient than I would be. I mean she would have been kicked out on the same day that she moved in if she had started that stuff. Plus I would have called the police on her and gotten her fired.

My DH doesn't work with any women that are even close to his age. (They are all older.) And...I am very content with that. LOL!
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  #11  
June 26th, 2006, 11:23 PM
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I just got another victory in this!

My DH's pager had been going off all day with all-out pages to everyone in the company to pick up shifts this week. Mostly for medics but my DH is only an Intermediate/Advance. Then he gets a page that they are specifically requesting him to work a daycar on Saturday. He tells me and then tells me there is only ONE Saturday daycar & that is what she works.

So he calls the lieutenant and asks who he would be working with. As soon as he heard, he said "I am sorry, I can't work with 'Miss T', it is a personal issue. Yay for him! So then the lieutenant offers him another Saturday daycar position....wants him to work 9am-7pm every Saturday in July he is not already scheduled to work, guaranteeing him he will not have to work with her.

He told this lietenant he is not working with her because she has tried to cause a rift in our marriage and that his wife is pregnant, high-risk and is not going to do ANYTHING to cause undo stress to me or the baby. The lieutenant totally understood and in fact said he was going to have the captain have a talk with this girl because apparently SHE told the lieutenant to ask Scott to work with her.

Oh and he told me before he went to bed if she even THINKS of calling his rig phone tomorrow (or today, however you look at it), he is going up to HQ to file a harassment claim and HE is going to spill all about the information we know. We have tried to be nice and diplomatic about this but SHE is the one who is keeping it up.

My DH actually asked me if I have a problem with any other female friends he works with or talks to. The answer is NO because I know all the other girls he is friends with and know there isn't any intentions there. It was just this 1 girl I had a problem with and it seems like this problem is going to go away here soon.
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  #12  
June 27th, 2006, 02:26 AM
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sounds like you had a good day
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  #13  
June 27th, 2006, 02:35 AM
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Sounds like this girl has a thing for dh big time. She won't let up on him. She sounds warped in the head. She needs to get a life and stay out of yours and your dh's.
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  #14  
June 27th, 2006, 09:33 AM
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Yes she does. At one point I had suspicions about her intentions with my DH, confronted her and she swore up and down she was not like that, she knew he was married. But then as we sort of became friends, I found out about that guy from county and HE is married. So she is capable of doing that! If she can't get a man on her own and has to constantly try to take other women's husbands, she has a lot of issues.

DH has already told me why the heck would he go to ground beef when he has steak at home? Ground beef is good every now and then but steak is good ALL the time.
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  #15  
June 27th, 2006, 10:11 AM
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i love the ground beef comment! i am glad it is all working out. for awhile there i was worried. but now i see your husband does love you and sticks up for you. good luck with everything. keep us updated!
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  #16  
June 27th, 2006, 10:32 AM
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Honey, if that had been me that tramp would have needed EMS to scrape her bloody, lifeless body up off of the floor!!! Can you say S-K-A-N-K?!?! UGH... I had a trollop like that living with me that professed her love/feelings she had for my DH - needless to say I sent her packing the same day!!!

KUDOS to your DH for finally doing the right thing and taking this matter to the appropriate chain of command. DH didn't need to jeopardize his job for a skeeze like that. It makes my skin crawl to think someone like her is out there that's in the business of saving lives! I truly believe in karma and what goes around... comes around!!!

Keep us posted!! (((HUGS)))


Tracey
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  #17  
June 27th, 2006, 10:50 AM
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Quote:
i love the ground beef comment! i am glad it is all working out. for awhile there i was worried. but now i see your husband does love you and sticks up for you. good luck with everything. keep us updated![/b]
I loved that comment too! Yes I was worried there he was going to choose her but now I see there is no reason to worry.

Quote:
Honey, if that had been me that tramp would have needed EMS to scrape her bloody, lifeless body up off of the floor!!! Can you say S-K-A-N-K?!?! UGH... I had a trollop like that living with me that professed her love/feelings she had for my DH - needless to say I sent her packing the same day!!!

KUDOS to your DH for finally doing the right thing and taking this matter to the appropriate chain of command. DH didn't need to jeopardize his job for a skeeze like that. It makes my skin crawl to think someone like her is out there that's in the business of saving lives! I truly believe in karma and what goes around... comes around!!!

Keep us posted!! (((HUGS)))


Tracey
[/b]
Oh so you know exactly what I am going through? I thought I was the only one who was in a situation like this. I tried to be nothing but nice to her, opened up my home to her and this is how she repays me?

Oh and my DH told me she is completely lazy on the job, talks on her cell the entire time and does not do vitals on patients, just writes some BS in. When she does that, she is compromising patient care. Her probation period was extended another 90 days because her quality of pt. care sucks! And then she complained because my DH who has been doing the job for almost 10 years, worked for this company for almost 2 is up for a promotion? When she is STILL on probation and it was extended? She has a lot of friggin nerve! That is exactly why he is going up the chain of command because the captain is a really good friend of ours and she respects my DH immensely, both professionally and personally.

Only write-ups my DH has had is from being late a couple of times when he first got 24/48's but that is because he was having a hard time adjusting to being to work at 7am instead of 10am, which is what time he had to be in when he was on daycar. I think those are off his work record now so besides for that, he has no blemishes on his work record.
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  #18  
June 28th, 2006, 09:46 AM
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I'm sorry but I would of kicked the crap out of little miss psychoslut. I have an internet bumper sticker that says if you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. Be as mean as possible, run her sleazy little name through the mud, and run her off!! It's the ONLY way to handle these chicks.

As for DH, boundaries need set. Flirting with others is NOT ok in any relationship. It's very important if you want your marriage to last. Honestly, we never know what they are saying behind our backs to these psychosluts. Mine told his gf how I didn't take care of the kids, house, or him and made me out to be the world's biggest b*&^%. You know what?? I was the one taking care of the kids and house while he was busy on his d*&^ computer talking to this #####. You never know!!!
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  #19  
June 28th, 2006, 02:09 PM
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I'm sorry but I would of kicked the crap out of little miss psychoslut. I have an internet bumper sticker that says if you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. Be as mean as possible, run her sleazy little name through the mud, and run her off!! It's the ONLY way to handle these chicks.

As for DH, boundaries need set. Flirting with others is NOT ok in any relationship. It's very important if you want your marriage to last. Honestly, we never know what they are saying behind our backs to these psychosluts. Mine told his gf how I didn't take care of the kids, house, or him and made me out to be the world's biggest b*&^%. You know what?? I was the one taking care of the kids and house while he was busy on his d*&^ computer talking to this #####. You never know!!![/b]

Well, DH reported her last night cuz she kept calling him when he was working yesterday. Worst thing was he explained he was transporting organs to the airport for transplant code 3 (lights and sirens) and she STILL kept calling, That is WAYYY out of hand.
I guess she is now on her last straw. She was warned by the guy in HR & the captain (both of whom are friends with DH & me) and if she even thinks of calling his rig phone again, she is so fired. They also explained my DH will never work with her again, they will see to that so she needs to quit trying to get the lieutenant to schedule him with her.
I sent her an e-mail telling her that if she even pages him, calls him, IMs him or texts him, I am going to spill all about the county leak thing. She sent me a text message back telling me she is going to leave him alone from now on. I hope she does.

As far as boundaries, we have them. We are not allowed to say things like calling someone "sexy" or anything. We can talk about sex in general but not to out and out talk about f*&#@!$ someone else. It has pretty much worked so far but some people don't know what is innocent and what is real I guess.
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