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Screaming Yelling, Crying & Etc.


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  #1  
June 29th, 2006, 08:29 AM
JennieMarie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ok everytime I argue with my BF, its usually really intense... Because when I get mad I get angry! It's like literally the deivl comes out of me and once I get mad its horrible... and I am the type of person that I yell and scream on the top of my lungs, because I hate to be cut off when speaking... and I want to be heard. And when I cry; I cry hard, my chest turns red, my eyes turn blood shot! Been like that my whole life... so last night the devil in me came out and a little this morning.... me and BF are having a big issue... but I feel so bad for all the sreaming and yelling, crying I did I really hope it doesn't affect the baby... after getting to work from the little argument this morning, I didn't feel well, and my stomache didnt feel well... and I know I should calm down especially for the baby but its hard. I just hope I am not harming hte baby... Do you think I am??
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  #2  
June 29th, 2006, 09:37 AM
Sugar+Spicex3's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am the same way when I'm mad. DH and I have been having a major issue for 18 months. I was pregnant with my 3rd daughter in the middle of it.

Extreme stress is not good for you or the baby. It raises your blood pressure (bad for you) which slows down the blood exchange (bad for baby) in the placenta. Extreme stress is not good, but some stress is healthy. Being angry like you and I get, thats extreme stress and that can lead to so many complications (Preterm labor, preeclampsia). Besides all that, I believe that babies know when Mom is stressed out and upset and that can't be good for them either (thats just my personal opinion).

You need to do whatever you have to calm yourself down. Whether that be a hot shower with lavendar body soaps, laying in bed reading, whatever works best for you, you need to do it. It won't be easy the first few times but it does get easier to relax and calm down the more you do it.
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  #3  
June 29th, 2006, 11:08 AM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I used to be the same way with DH & now it seems the role is reversed. He is the one screaming and yelling while I am the one retreating to the bedroom.

I suggest you go off somewhere for a few minutes just to catch your breath, count to 10 & then try to face the situation again.

Best of luck to you!
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  #4  
June 30th, 2006, 07:00 AM
JennieMarie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for the reply... Yea even though I am the one who gets loud.. i usually walk away to cool down and not scream and say things I dont mean... but its him that follows me and refuses to wait and rather talk things out the very same moment! Oh well but I def. need ot calm down...
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  #5  
July 6th, 2006, 03:25 PM
mrobinson
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  #6  
July 7th, 2006, 08:19 AM
whitlovesoak's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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i hope things are getting better for you hun!
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  #7  
July 7th, 2006, 05:23 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Maybe you & Dh need to talk at a time that is not stressed & set some ground rules for your arguments. Dh & I have time-out that we are each allowed to call & the argument MUST stop that moment & each person needs to retreat & take some down time - wash off your face - take a walk, etc. You have to both agree to respect it though. Also - try to remind yourself that the general rule is the louder one gest, the less likely it is that they are being heard. It has even been documented. It is natural for all human to shut down & not process well as the volume increases in an argument. If you keep reminding yourself that you want to be heard - it may be easier for you to remember that yelling is the fastest way to get the opposite response. Also - you must have some time-limit on fighting - that if nothing is resolved after say 15 mins - then you must reschedule another time to discuss it (unless it is talking going on, not arguing, then there is no time limit). No name calling - no personal attacks (such as slob, lazy, etc) - and a time limit for history that can be brought up...such as no bringing in what he did last year after the Xmas party. Dh & I drew up a contract like this a lot of years ago now & at time sit will even cause us to laugh during a fight - I will be so blazing mad & all of a sudden he'll say soemthing dumb about how I need to watch that I am following hte "rules of engagement" or I tell him "that isn't part of our Geneva convention"...and we do stick to it. We are all human & we have our weaknesses, but I find that you both will be much happier if you find a healthy fair way to fight that keeps you both from blowing your top. Good luck!

(And I do agree - it can't be good for the baby for you to get that upset - but it is also terrible for you as well).
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