I'm Tired of life.

dubs · #1 September 9th, 2011, 06:52 AM

I need to vent....

I am so tired of the way my life is going... I left my ex husband a lil over 2yo and which i don't regret but it just seems like it has been nothing but rain since then..almost like God is punishing me for breaking my vows. I have had nothing but bad luck..bad relationships and hurt feelings...

Right now i'm living on the edge not know how I'm gonna pay the next bill or make the money stretch from week to week. I stay at home right now cuz my boyfriend and i had agreed on that when he moved in MY place few months back...literally 2 wks after he moved in he quit his job and everything fell on me and i was paying everything with my child support alone....he didn't decide to start looking for a job till he got locked up for non payment of his child support (due to not working) well then when he got out between me and his parole officer we had a job lined up for him but now its basically part time like he hasn't gone to work in like 2 wks cuz his boss didn't need him...fast forward to this week... my kids dad decided he wasn't gonna pay this week and he overall he is a few wks behind cuz at his new job they don't directly withdrawal child support so my EX holds all the power when he sends the payment in...well then when he saw i was struggling he started giving me the payments upfront and i wrote a letter of proof to domestics to let them know he was paying me not them...well then they said they can't do that so they didn't credit his last 2 payments which made his rears go up some more..and now he decided to not give me anything this week.. and since he is mailing his payments its could take up to 2wks once it reaches domestics till receive it. By then it will be **** near Oct and my rent is already late....Gaige just started school and if i lose my place then im going to have to move in with my mom in a totally different county and Gaige is gonna have to get used to a whole new school and i just am stressed out. Then last night there dad had the balls to stay to me "ill see you in court real soon cuz im going to lower the child support cuz i have a baby to take care of 2" UMMM ok its not my fault u didn't wrap it up now your other two kids are so suppose to pay for that?? Then he says i should get a job an help support...well yeah id do that no problem if we didn't have 1 car and when my BF does work he makes 3x more then i would which is why im staying home cuz of babysitter prices and such.

all and all I can't win...i'm just ready to give up. I have the kids all the time he sees them 2x a month for one night. i feel like i deserve the payments and i shouldn't feel guilty for freaking if i don't get them.

mommy_to_nico · #2 September 9th, 2011, 10:43 PM

I totally agree you are taking care of the children, it's his responsiblity to be fincially supporting them. When you go to court tell them your struggling and you can't work b/c child care is too expensive. In the best interest of the child you should be able to stay home, especially when your bf is helping out. and if a person has the choice to stay home, i'm def for it. i am a stay home mom my self, my ex constantly nagged me about that, he disappeared one day and hasn't seen his son for 2 1/2 yrs. i got child support finally, he either got a job or his parents are paying it. he wasnt working for months, nothing new. i'm used to it, i don't rely on it, b/c its not going to help me. but that is so unfair that his job doesnt have childsupport garnish the wages and his children have to suffer. this economy suxs. they can't lower child support unless they got proof he's making less then his first case with child support. also he needs proof he's on the birth certificate of that child. b/c your children get the most money b/c you filed first. so if the gf and him break up she'll get less, plus you have 2 children he should be paying 700-1000 for both of them. have you applied for food stamps? im on food stamps. they help. hope everything works out

dubs · #3 September 10th, 2011, 01:50 PM

Tareena thank you so much for that information on the support i didn't know how all that works. I do get food stamps but it never seems to reach around and when he's not working we don't have the funds to supplement...its just stressful..he did come get them this wknd after saying he wasn't gonna..when he brings them back im going to once again mention when he plans on paying again..if he says he doesn't know i guess ill have to contact the domestic relations office...i don't want them locking him up cuz that won't solve anything i just want them to put a fire under his ***. As you said the kids shouldn't have to suffer...

in_mommy · #4 September 14th, 2011, 08:02 PM

If your getting food stamps, then maybe contact your case worker and see if you can qualify for TANF, temporary assistance for needy families. Check to see if your state has something called a child support calculator and it will give you a general idea of how much money he should be paying. Would you be able to maybe do some babysitting or something like that, that you could do from home? When he switches jobs, it does take a few weeks for money to be garnished from his check, but then again, your child support place needs to know that he has changed jobs and all that info so it could come back out of his check.

dubs · #5 September 15th, 2011, 03:45 PM

reposting lost my first one.

when i asked him earlier this week if he was gonna pay he returns with " Ive been working Crystal till 8pm and i haven't had time to pay it" I returned with " i understand your busy but it doesn't take much effort or time to write a check and drop it in the mail box on your way to work better then domestics locking you up" he then says " let them"
i was fuming by this point! So i called domestic and they said he legally has till the end of the month and if i haven't received a payment by the 3rd to call back and they will " take action" I"m so sick and tired of fighting for Money for OUR children.

mommy_to_nico · #6 September 17th, 2011, 09:19 AM

they just told my son's father pay or get locked up. i got child support on the 7th and they are strict in NY. if you owe over 1,500 you go to jail. I agree on the temporary assistance you should check out with your local office.