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Are you keeping it?!?!?!?!


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  #1  
July 3rd, 2006, 09:41 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,120
Ok, so I am 3 months pregnant with my first baby. Yes, it was a "whoops" baby, no I am not with the father anymore, but as I am starting to tell people I am so sick and tired of the following responses

"But your not even married!"
"Oh my God, what are you going to do?"
"Are you happy?"
And worst of all....
"Are you keeping it?"

Like ***?? I know my situation is not ideal but I am having a little baby, of course I'm happy! I try to say it with a big smile, it's not like I'm looking morose....I just feel like it's really not tactful to ask these kinds of questions to a pregnant girl regardless of her circumstances, no one would even think of asking something like this to a girl who was married...and the "are you keeping it" thing, it's like, do you really think I would be telling you I was pregnant if I was planning on going out and having an abortion??? I mean, c'mon, it's not like I'm some 15 year old girl still in high school, I'm 21, I'm mature I have a good job, why is it so hard to just say "Congratulations!"
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  #2  
July 3rd, 2006, 10:06 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,667
Maybe they meant are you giving the baby up for adoption rather than aborting it--that's what I would hope anyway. Either way it's pretty tacky.

I have been pregnant many times, and let me tell you EVERYONE has advice for the pregnant woman--it is probably doubly bad for the single young pregnant woman because then people automatically assume that you REALLY don't know what you're doing. There are "do-gooders" everywhere and you shouldn't let them and their "helpfulness" make you feel bad about yourself. Maybe you could try to turn your thinking around--their comments really are a reflection on THEM, not on you.
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  #3  
July 3rd, 2006, 10:40 AM
whitlovesoak's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Provo, Utah
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i totally agree with what you are saying. i am only 19 i have been married for a year and like 4 months. but i know that if i got pregnant people would not be saying those things to me. so why is it ok for htem to say those things to you? cuz you are single? that is not right. i hope that it gets better for you! congrats on your pregnancy!
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  #4  
July 3rd, 2006, 10:54 AM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So sorry for the insensitivity. I am getting the same response from my mother just because DH & I have had some problems. Hopefully everyone will accept your pregnancy or just keep their mouths shut.
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  #5  
July 3rd, 2006, 03:57 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5,597
Keep your head up and ignore them! I know that those kinds of comments hurt though.

People said those kinds of things to me and my DH too when I got pregnant with my DD. We were only 17 years old, but it was like they could not accept that we loved our baby. Even after we got married, there were some people who were still inconsiderate like that, and I think that there is no excuse for it. We are now 19, have a really nice home, and my DH has a great job. Yet.....we have gotten a few comments this time around too, which is ridiculous! Some people need to learn how to keep their opinions to themselves.
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  #6  
July 3rd, 2006, 04:46 PM
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Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,120
Thanks for your support guys...It bothers me a lot because I can take them judging me, I'm a big girl, but it's the fact that they are implying that my baby is in any way unwanted, or any less of a blessing than a baby that was planned and born into a marriage...that just hurts.
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  #8  
July 5th, 2006, 03:41 AM
lilbluedolphin's Avatar Super Mommy
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You sound like you have it all together and I am sure you will make an awsome mom. Any one who tell you different can just go to...well you know where.
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  #9  
July 5th, 2006, 06:15 AM
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Join Date: May 2006
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Quote:
You sound like you have it all together and I am sure you will make an awsome mom. Any one who tell you different can just go to...well you know where.
[/b]
Oh man, I can't believe people say those things...unbelievable! There are plenty of single mothers who go on to meet great guys and get married, I see it all the time! I think having a baby just weeds out the undesirable guys who only want to sleep with you anyways .Well, thanks for responding it feels good to know their are other girls out there in my situation...
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  #10  
July 5th, 2006, 01:12 PM
mrobinson
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ppsstt... congradulations hon!!!

People are morons sweetie.. Don't let the ignorant get you down or you'll never get up. ((The problem with common sense, it's just not all the common, eh?))



We're here you for girl ~ vent away! You're a tough cookie so I have faith in you.



Michelle

PS ~ move but stay on JM's. I love having you around the debate boards but that isn't helping my addiction!
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  #11  
July 6th, 2006, 10:18 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,966
Just ignore them hun.. Or tell them to shut there pie holes.
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  #12  
July 7th, 2006, 07:49 PM
lisa1of13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Noblesville, Indiana
Posts: 4,140
Quote:
Ok, so I am 3 months pregnant with my first baby. Yes, it was a "whoops" baby, no I am not with the father anymore, but as I am starting to tell people I am so sick and tired of the following responses

"But your not even married!"
"Oh my God, what are you going to do?"
"Are you happy?"
And worst of all....
"Are you keeping it?"

Like ***?? I know my situation is not ideal but I am having a little baby, of course I'm happy! I try to say it with a big smile, it's not like I'm looking morose....I just feel like it's really not tactful to ask these kinds of questions to a pregnant girl regardless of her circumstances, no one would even think of asking something like this to a girl who was married...and the "are you keeping it" thing, it's like, do you really think I would be telling you I was pregnant if I was planning on going out and having an abortion??? I mean, c'mon, it's not like I'm some 15 year old girl still in high school, I'm 21, I'm mature I have a good job, why is it so hard to just say "Congratulations!"[/b]
It doesn't matter if you are a teenager & single, or a old married lady like me (40 & married 20 years) people ask/make STUPID comments. You just gotta let it roll off your back. I did tell someone when they asked if "I knew what caused it" that I suspected it had something to do with f'ing, was that their suspicions also? They never asked stupid questions of me again!
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  #13  
July 8th, 2006, 12:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,258
Quote:
It doesn't matter if you are a teenager & single, or a old married lady like me (40 & married 20 years) people ask/make STUPID comments. You just gotta let it roll off your back. I did tell someone when they asked if "I knew what caused it" that I suspected it had something to do with f'ing, was that their suspicions also? They never asked stupid questions of me again![/b]

I totally agree! I'm 20 years old and have been married for a year and a half now and I still get all kinds of nasty comments. I hate the "But hunny you're a child having a child."

Can you believe I'm married and still get people asking me if we plan on keeping it???? I mean how stupid can you really be?? Even if I was single of course I would keep her! Whether you are married or not.. marriage is not a full proof thing. Say if you were married who's to say you will be in a year or five years from now. A baby is a baby whether you are with the father or not.

I can't believe people say such horrible nasty things. I'm sure you have it way harder than me but I have the apperance of a 12 year old and get so many nasty looks and comments from people judging me from deciding to have a baby so young. But we wanted this baby. We are financially stable, have a nice home, both have careers, and planned the whole thing... ugh why can't people realize not everyone is immature!

Keep your head up girl and don't let people get you down! I think you are awesome for wanting to keep your baby and I give you HUGE props for it! Just ignore those dumba$$ people and their stupid comments! Stupid comments come from stupid people!
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  #14  
July 8th, 2006, 10:09 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 123
Wow! Some people just really don't have any brains! I'm sorry that people are being so rude, inconsiderate and just plain dumb about the situation. Try to brush it off as best as you can, pregnancy is the most amazing thing in the world and you should enjoy it to its fullest potential. No one has the right to judge or criticize anyone else, stay strong and you will do just fine!
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  #15  
July 9th, 2006, 05:01 AM
Stacia
Guest
Posts: n/a
You get that crap at any age! I'm 33, my partner is 35. We were engaged (now married) and everyone assumed that this baby was an accident. I've been asked "what are you going to do about it". When I told one of my friends she said "I'm sorry"! I was stunned. I think I've heard it all...my career will be ruined, aren't you a bit old...blah blah blah. Oh and now we only got married because I got knocked up.

Don't listen to them, most people can't see past their own opinion.

Congratulations!!!
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