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He makes me sick


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  #1  
October 11th, 2011, 01:28 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 110
Hello,

I am a mother of 2 and 8weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. I am so frustrated with my childrens father. I work full-time and I work over-time as well.
He has been unemployed for 6 months, and I know its because he is terribly lazy. I just don't know what to do anymore. I really do not want to be with him, but I do not want to raise these children alone. I want my children to live in a home with a mother AND a father.

All day he stays home and sits on the phone with his Mom and sister! They talk for hours. I try to help by filling out applications for him or sending off his resume, but he still doesn't do much on his own. Finally today after 3 weeks of me begging him, he went and applied at Wendys. When he got home he rolled his eyes and said " THERE, ARE YOU HAPPY, I APPLIED AT WENDYS FOR YOU".

I am so tired of doing this on my own. I know I brought this upon myself, though, but its still really hard.

Well, thanks for listening!!!!!!!!!!!
Bee
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  #2  
October 11th, 2011, 02:44 PM
SammyJ's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: UTAH
Posts: 3,737
Awww hun that is terrible! I am really sorry to hear that. Do you think he is depressed or something from being unemployed, or has he always been unmotivated?

I don't know how you deal with it. That is really tough. I assume you have talked to him about this? What does he say? Does he just like being lazy?? I just can't imagine letting down your family like that. Honestly, if I were in your boat I would start looking for alternative options to become a single mom. I mean of course your kids deserve to have both a mother and a father at home, but do they really deserve to live with parents who are in such an unhealthy situation together? This isn't good for anyone involved and I am sure your kids will start to notice the resentment you have against him if they haven't already.

Best wishes to you in this difficult sitution! Hugs!!!
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  #3  
October 12th, 2011, 02:28 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 110
Thank you very much. I am so exhausted. I do not know how to properly deal with this. It makes me so stressed. He has always been "laid back" and has enjoyed relaxation. All that is fine when you work a full time job. Now, its different, because he is so unmotivated and in order to be succesful in life you have to be motivated.

My children deserve the best. I truly believe that. He told me today that anything that has to do with childbirth is totally gross to him. He said he cant even handle looking at a monitor that shows our baby on it when I get an ultrasound. We are both in our 30s, I am shocked!

I just cried. I am so so tired.
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  #4  
December 22nd, 2011, 06:01 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 7
I'm just going to say it. You need to leave him. If not for yourself, for your children. What kind of a role model is he being for them ? Maybe if you leave (Or kick him out since he's obviously not contributing to the household anyways) he'll realize how good he's got it with you. I'm a single mom. I left a crappy father very shortly after my son was born (he's eight now). It turns out I made a good decision. He's still a bum, and his attitude is much like your kids dad. I'm glad I got him out of that situation. Sounds like your kids dad has a great relationship with his family. Perhaps he should go live with them and they can support him. As far as being disgusted by anything having to do with child.. can we say childish ?! Get over it? Be a man ? etc etc.... geeze.

I meant to say "childbirth"... lol.

He makes me sick too.. It seems there are a lot of men of this breed out there.. It's so sad. I hope to make sure my son never grows up to be like this.
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  #5  
December 30th, 2011, 01:58 AM
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 11
You said that you don't want to be with him anymore so leave him. There are millions of single mothers out there who do it along, and you can too. You are stronger than you think mama.
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  #6  
January 15th, 2012, 08:32 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
He needs to grow the heck up!!!!! I am sorrg to say it too , but you need to lay it on the line with him AND give him a timeframe. Get a job and help out or get out! He needs to involved with his baby as well. HE helped create it and now he needs to step up!! Very immature to says it all grosses him out, tough crap! They DO deserve better!
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