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  #1  
November 4th, 2011, 03:37 PM
Regular
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 76
My fiance and I have been together for 3 years now. Last year he told me that he cheated on my when we first got together he said it was only one time. A couple weeks a couple I found out it was for two weeks. Since he first told me I have yet to be able to trust him and we basically been fighting ever since. Now a days it's getting to the point where I just want to pack up my girls and leave because it's becoming too much. He is not helping with my new baby as he should I can't tell you the last time he changed her diaper or fed her. I get up all night with her when she wakes up and I am the only one she is really around all day. Needless to say I'm frustrated.

Also, he has an issue with facebook. He used to go on there and randomly add girls from around our town and tell them how sexy they where and what not and giving his phone number out at all.

He's starting to turn everything around on me acting like I have done something wrong. Even to this day he looks at random girls profiles constantly.

What I'm wondering is what would you do if you couldn't trust your partner anymore and am tired of fighting with them day in and day out when the don't seem to understand what is wrong?
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Lovin my girls.
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  #2  
November 14th, 2011, 07:40 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
Boot his rear end to the door!!!! If he is pulling the crap with FB and passing out his number he def. can not be trusted. Then to blame you for it, I think not. Its one thing to admit to a one time deal but I have my doubts that is the case here. Good luck to you! (hugs)
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  #3  
November 30th, 2011, 08:12 AM
Regular
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 53
I would leave him. If you can't trust him (and it sounds like you def. shouldn't), then you don't need him around. It is hard enough to raise a child, who needs that extra stress in their lives? If he does that on the computer, then who knows what he would do in person. You deserve someone who respects you and wants you. This is all easier said than done; I'm sure it's hard to pack up your children and leave. However, your happiness is important to everyone involved. Good luck.
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  #4  
November 30th, 2011, 09:45 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,586
Um, why are you considering marrying this person?

He has cheated on you. He lied about how much he cheated on you. He actively reaches out to other women on the internet and doesn't care if you see it. That isn't even respecting you, let alone showing any real commitment to you. I would be shocked if he DIDN'T cheat on you even more than what you know about. I know you say he "used to" add and send his number to random women, but if he's still looking at profiles you can bet he's still sending messages and numbers out.

Guilty consciouses pick a lot of fights over nothing. It's a way to deflect from what they're doing.

I know it's scary to leave a long term relationship, but there is nothing healthy about this situation. A ring on his finger won't change those behaviours. He *will* still pull this crap after you're married and it will be even harder to remove yourself from it at that point. I know it's even scarier to leave with a baby, but again -- it isn't something that's going to change with marriage.

By staying, you not only send the message that how he treats you is okay and you will put up with it, but you send the message to your children that that is a normal and okay adult relationship. You send the message to any daughters that it's okay for a man to treat his partner this way. You send the message to any sons that it's okay for them to treat women that way. On top of the fact that you don't deserve that treatment and you owe it to YOURSELF to remove yourself from it, you also owe it to them to give them a stable and healthy environment to grow up in.

If he showed any signs of being willing to change, I would still advise you to hold off on the wedding but perhaps get into some kind of therapy. The reality sounds like he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong and he unabashedly continues the same behaviours right in front of you. That's a huge, huge, huge red flag.
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  #5  
February 8th, 2012, 05:47 AM
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 11
it sounds like you need to get eveyrthing off your chests, set the slate clean
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