I'll start by saying I'm 29 weeks 2 days. I have mixed emotions about it, but overall this is what we wanted and we were trying for a while. I did have a blighted ovum back in 2009, but this is the real thing and now that it is... Some people on my and his family are driving me up the wall.
My grandmother is the worst. I vented about her on this forum a while back, and she hasnt gotten any better. I'm sure no one wants to go back and dig for it, so I'll recap what I remember what I said. My grandmother, I guess tries to mean well, but anything she does to show it is so completely wrong and annoying, and in the end it just irritates everyone around her. She wont stop and wont get the hint. When I thought I was pregnant back in '09, I had barely announced I was pregnant when she sent a stroller, a playpen and a cheap baby rocking chair type thing. I know, why turn down gifts when it comes to a baby. When she found out it was a false pregnancy, she tried to "console" me by telling me it happened to her several times (anything anyone in the family has had or went through, she just happened to have it at one point in her life; I had a splint for my wrist in 8th grade "Oh I have to wear one too", I was so sick at the beginning of this pregnancy I lost a bit of weight and had to go to the ER "Oh that happened when I was pregnant with your uncle". See where I'm going with this?) then said "well you can just give it back to me if you want" which, coming from her means "I dont really care, now that I know it wasnt a real pregnancy I just want my money back". Now that she knows I'm actually pregnant, she wont stop sending things to my apartment. I havent even had a baby shower and she's already sent a few boxes of cheap clothes and a few small boxes of wipes, and other cheap things. She's sent a used monitor that's clearly been used but looks like it hasnt been touched in about 10 years. It doesnt work, and it's not portable so I would have to plug my end into the wall and sit there with it, I wouldnt be able to carry it around the house. I threw it somewhere and dont even want to look at it again. I mentioned on facebook one day, without asking anyone for any favors, that I was looking at cribs and how some of them alone cost more than the entire bedroom set my boyfriend and I have and how ridiculous it was. Well, a couple weeks later I went home for my grandfather's birthday and she comes walking up to me all smiles, saying how she bought a used, yes, used, crib and was pretty much forcing it on me saying next time I came home I WOULD be taking it back to New York (I live there with my boyfriend, my family lives in Maine) one way or another. I then later heard her bragging to my mother how she got it and that it was "only a hundred and fifty dollars!" Later that night my mother confessed to me that she wanted to buy the crib. Well, his parents wanted to buy it too, so my mother suggested anyone that wants to buy it just pitch in and give us money so we can go buy one we like and use whatever's leftover for anything else we need. That seemed to be the agreement. Yet every time I talk to my grandmother, she's still trying to push the crib she got onto me (his parents arent much better but I'll get to that in a bit). She's not giving anyone else a chance to buy anything. My mother told her a couple things she got for us and my grandmother was all "I told you I already got that!" Even though my mother told her several times that she's not the only one who wants to pitch in, she keeps saying "you can still have the crib I got". Just the other night I saw her again while visiting someone in the hospital. This time she told me she had a glider in her car waiting to go back with me and asked if she could drop it off at my parents' the next day. GREAT. I tried telling her that my parents dont have anywhere to fit it in their house and it would probably just sitting in the basement with no use. Well, my boyfriend can fit it in his trunk. I said no, his car is too small and it wouldnt fit in the trunk. Tie it down, she says. I told her in the nicest way I could that it just couldnt happen, and she took it alright and said okay. Well, I walked in on her mumbling quietly to my father that she was going to drop it off, not asking him if she could, not being able to leave well enough alone. At first he said okay. Once I talked to him about it and he had the chance to think it over, he went back to her and explained he wasnt going to let it sit in the basement and collect dust, and again it had to be explained that my boyfriend's car is just too small and a glider wont fit in his trunk, and it doesnt have a hitch on the back so we cant drag one of the smaller U-Haul trucks. When he said this, her face went sour and she paused a few seconds then finally sighed out of annoyance and said with a bit of an attitude "Fine, I'll just leave it at my house!" Tuesday night I got a call from my sister with some more lovely things my grandmother said. They were in the hospital and my sister overheard her talking to my father about visiting me in February, when I'm due. She was telling my father how she was going to NOT tell me or my boyfriend that she was going to drive down to New York with one of my aunts and one of my uncle's girlfriends and show up at our apartment and expect us to be okay with her and the other two staying at OUR apartment! We live in a tiny apartment with two bedrooms (obviously for him and I, then the baby's room), one bathroom and a living room that takes up the majority of the place, so there's no way three other people would be able to stay there, especially uninvited. My sister also told me my grandmother was planning on two weeks to A MONTH. My mother already warned me about her planning on two weeks, which is way overstaying her welcome, but up to a month?! Well, I txt my aunt asking her if she knew about any of this. My aunt said no, that's absolutely ridiculous and explained to me what really happened. My aunt told my grandmother that if she couldnt get down to NY, my aunt would take her down and my aunt would stay for a few days to help me out if I wanted her to. I told my aunt how irritated and furious I was that this even crossed my grandmother's mind, and my aunt said she was just being dramatic and no one was going to show up uninvited (which my grandmother was going to before any of this came up. She thinks I want her down there with me). My aunt has her own 10 month old to worry about and a job to go to so up to a month would be too much for her. My uncle was right there as I was txting my aunt, and I guess he called my grandmother up asking her why she said all of that. Of course, not 10 minutes after I get done talking to my aunt my grandmother called me. I didnt answer, so she left a voicemail with an attitude saying "Hi, it's nana can you pick up your phone?" A few second pause, followed by yet another irritated sigh and "Nevermind." and a hang up. So after listening to that, making my blood boil even more I called her back. It sounded like she was crying, or trying to sound like she was, and she denied EVERYTHING that my sister told me, saying in a whiny voice "I didnt say any of that, I would never do that to you!" then had the gall to say it was my aunt that said those things. Nice woman, huh? Not only that but long before I got pregnant or was even old enough to, she's played favorites with her grandkids. She has 3 sets of 2, and the 10 month old. No matter what the conversation's about she always has to bring up my baby cousin. She gets me and two of my cousins whatever we want whenever we want while my sister and two other cousins are left in the dark (they get $10 Wal Mart gift cards while one of my cousins who was turning ELEVEN wanted a camera that was a couple hundred dollars, guess who got it "on sale"). She also hears something from someone, but when she goes to tell someone else she's had time to think about it and adds her own twists and turns to it, telling it the way she wants it to be told not how it actually happened. After she tells one person one story she turns around and adds or takes out info to someone else. I dont think she knows the definition of the word "truth".
His mother means well, I'm sure. But she doesnt think at all before she does anything, and his father has to constantly tell her after she opens her mouth "you probably shouldn't have done it that way" and all she has to say is "Oh I didnt think of it like that". She gossips constantly and cant keep a secret to save her life; every little thing she finds out about someone's personal life, everyone in her neighborhood and everyone she works with, even her 80something year old mother who lives 17 hours away from her has to know every little detail. Even if you tell her to please try to keep your mouth shut, she wont. Anyway, since I became pregnant, his parents have been excited which is understandable; it's their first grandkid. But it's an annoying kind of exciting. They're mostly insistent on the crib. They know my mother wants to pitch in, yet they drove all the way to NY to take my boyfriend out to look at cribs. The whole time his father kept saying how he would pay for it full price, alone, but I said my mother wanted to help too. Well, she can buy the mattress, he said. Or, even better, we can take the money from my mom and use it to buy something else for the baby. Lovely! We found one we liked, and a few weeks later his mother sent my mother a card telling her they were "determined" to buy the crib and they were going to ship it to us. My mother took that as oh, they already got one so she backed out and now doesnt even want to bother pitching in because of my boyfriend's mother. His mom is saying she "didnt mean it the way it came out" but why would she word it the way she did if she didnt mean it that way? So now my mother's backed out of the crib idea and it really breaks my heart because I know she wanted to help but I cant talk her back into it, because his mother opened her big mouth. While they were here, she gave me a sewing machine and dragged me to a fabric store to pick up sewing things. I told her I havent touched a sewing machine since I was 13-14 and that was because I had to in middle school, and my boyfriend told her several times that I DONT sew. Yet she still insisted and brought me against my will, spend a bunch of money on fabrics, sewing material, even a sewing table that was originally priced at $160 but I guess it was marked down to around $80. Either way, I dont sew, I have no interest in re learning it and she was told several times by the two of us but she didnt listen. Even his father was asking why are you bothering but she DOESNT LISTEN. Ever since I met her, nothing I do is good enough for her. I was working at a grocery store when my boyfriend and I got together, and I had just graduated from high school several months before and it was my first job. When she found out she sent me an email saying I should go back to school because I "dont want to be working there forever". Having only met her once, maybe twice, I felt pretty offended. Plus, I hadnt even been working there a year. For a while, whenever I saw her or we came home and he stayed with his parents, she'd give me information on different colleges and trying to insist on what courses I should take. She got the hint after a while when I started throwing out everything she gave me. I dont drive, because of a couple bad experiences while trying to get my licesnse, but she keeps asking when will I start. I'm terrified of driving and dont want to start. I know I should, but it's not her business. She even had one of her neighbors gang up on me about it, and it was quit literally a mere 20 minutes after I shook her hand when SHE started badgering me about it, telling me what I "should" do! What's it her business too?!
Uggh anyway I'm sorry this is so long, but I'm so flustered and his parents and my grandmother are driving me up the wall and stressing me out to the point of my boyfriend and I getting into arguments because of his mother opening her mouth and saying the wrong thing to someone in my family again. I'm so stressed and upset and all this drama is all I can think of, no matter how hard I try to think otherwise. I lie awake at night and think of what I should say or how things should be done yet they all act like they're the only ones involved or the only ones excited. It's driving me so crazy what do I do about it?
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both sides of the family are driving me insane!
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