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OK, let me start by saying DH is a very very laid back guy. Some days he comes home and gets in this mood because the house isn't picked up, but for the most part we get along. We don't make love as much as we would both like to.
Let me go back a little bit....about 4 yrs ago he thought I cheated on him because I came home late from my night out with friends. I didn't cheat. I was in a friends car while she dropped everyone else off then I came home. OK, he was devistated. I never seen him like that, but after he confronted the guy and I convinced him nothing happened, we were ok, we even started talking about another baby. Our baby was 6 at the time. We had another child a yr later. When she was just 1 1/2 he started visiting "people meeting" website. I am a little tech savy so as soon as this started happening I sent him a msg as someone else saying all the things I knew he liked. We set up a night & time to meet, I borrowed a friends car, and I waited at the bar for him. He showed up 30 mins late.....he said he was so relieved it was me who showed up (what else was he going to say?) I told him how much I hated him and never wanted to see him again. I left, he followed me home, but waited outside for a little bit. I wouldn't talk to him. He did all the talking. He swore he wasn't going to do anything he just wanted to see what this girl who said all these things to him looked like.
The next day he went to work and came home crying. He never cries, but he couldn't go back to work and said he can't work knowing that I was his life and he couldn't take losing me. He begged me to stay. We always had an agreement that if either of us ever cheat that person is to leave.
I don't give chances and neither does he, but since he actually didn't sleep with anyone I gave him another chance. It took ALOT of talking and thinking and talking!
OK so that was almost 3 yrs ago and he has been a good boy, always home. We now have an addtl 1 yr old baby and I noticed he started going on a different website, not a dating site, more of a .......hmmm, I guess it kinds is a dating site. I got on his profile and I made a profile for myself. We are talking now and he is telling me he is only on to look, he does have wandering eyes. I asked him if he was looking to meet up at first he started saying he is faithful, but then he doesn't want to say too much on the computer. SO I asked him if he was looking to meet up with me for "fun" because I don't want to meet him to be friends and that I understand and respect him if he is in a commited relationship. I left the ball in his court..... I am waiting to hear back from him. (while I feel ill)
I don't want to say too much online, I just wanted him to think I'm interested in meeting him and see where he takes it, only this time I am not going to meet him. I am going to send a msg from my Facebook to hers and tell her she can take him and when she doesn't show up she can tell him I know.
Last edited by 1moretime; February 16th, 2012 at 06:46 AM.
Uhmm. Well he has proven again and again that he is not faithful to you and obviously has no respect for you at all. I would leave him for sure. It seems like you don't trust him and you shouldn't. If DH were going on websites, regardless if they were dating websites and chatting with other women, i would assume he's looking to cheat on me. I don't care if he actually meets up with these people, the fact that he is having any contact with other women is crossing the line. If i were you, i would confront him. Then leave him. And I honestly don't see the point of making profiles for the websites and contacting him as other women. You know what he is doing, so just speak to him. I hope you two can work things out or definitely get rid of this guy.
Wow, this is ridiculous. I understand you have children with this man, and you probably love each other. But he is def crossing the line and I still consider it cheating...it doesn't have to be physical for a man to cheat. The intention is there. You shouldn't have to sit around wondering what he's up to, and feeling ill over it. That is disrespectful and hurtful, and he obviously wouldn't appreciate you doing the same. You gave him another shot, and it sounds like he failed. There is no third time around in my eyes, who knows what he does when you aren't checking in on him. A husband doesn't need to search for other women, and have "wandering eyes"...it sounds like the word "husband" is too strong of a word for such a weak man. And no offense to you in saying that, it is hard to realize when you are being mistreated...but I really couldn't handle that myself and I am angry for you.
Wow, he has some nerve to do that again!!!! Did he ever respond? That may not have been actual cheating in that he slept with someone, but IMO when your martied you dont even go to meet anyone to see what they might look like let alone create accounts like that. Are you sure he hasnt slept with someone else that he met in person? Time to send his butt out the door!!