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I am having to go on a break from TTC and not by choice. My heart has been broken all weekend at the thought of this but I know that there is nothing else that I can do right now. I am going to go to the doctor on Tuesday to get my bloodwork done to see if I even O'ed this month and when I get the results I will have to wait to go to an RE because of my insurance not covering it. I am going to have to save up some money and then try again and this time go to an RE. I know that this stuff is expensive and I want to do this so bad that it is killing me to have to wait now. I can't understand why they make this stuff so expensive because it seems like they don't want the average person to even have a chance at ttc medically. I just don't understand at all. I feel so down because I don't know what to do other than wait to go to an RE after I have saved some money. That seems to be my only option now. My OBGYN has already told me that if I don't O this cycle then he is probably going to send me to an RE and everywhere that I have called around here does not have fee schedules so I have no idea what all this is going to cost or nothing. I have cried all weekend because I have wanted to have a baby all of my life and now that I am getting medical help from my OBGYN and get excited because I thought that I actually had a chance at ttc and now I feel like I will never have the chance. I really hope that this "break" doesn't last forever. I feel so lost, lonely, violated, confused, hurt, and my heart is completely broken now! My dh says for me not to give up hope but honestly I don't see how I can't because with all of the legal fees for his kids I don't see how we are going to get the money up to continue ttc. He says that we will do whatever it takes but everything that we get ends up with the lawyer right now. I honestly want to just crawl under a rock somewhere and never come out!!! I just hate that I can't do anything about this situation. I feel like everything that I have done is for no reason now.
I am just so confused and lost right now because I don't like not being in control of my life and thats the way that I feel.[/b]
I know it doesn't seem fair.. because it's not fair. No question ~ the feeling of not being in contol of our own destiny isn't a feeling I wish on anyone. Money, lawyers, and insurance shouldn't be the guiding factor but I know that money is a factor in my life.. so I can kinda relate to the out of my hand feelings.. Do you think your dh really understands how you feel? Is he validating your feelings about it?
i am sorry you are going through this hun! i don't think it is fair either. i am glad your DH is willing to do whatever it takes though. i hope that gives you a little bit of hope. you will get there. i just know it. please vent any time you need to ok? xoxo
Update on the situation. I called an institute that is about an hour and a half away, in Charlotte, NC, and got an idea of what it is going to cost. For IUI with medications, since Clomid didn't work for me she said that I would probably have to have injectables, that is going to run about $2,200.00 per treatment. Without injectables it will be $1,500.00 per treatment. For IVF with medications it will be between $12,000.00 to $13,000.00. Now I feel a little better because I have an amount to set as a goal. I also called about an insurance plan that is supposed to cover between 40-60% per treatment. That would be a tremendous help if it is true. DH's aunt is calling about the plan today and she will get back with me tonight to let me know because she works in insurance fraud field so I thought that she would know exactly what to find out for me. I was supposed to go in to the doctor's office today for my cd 22 progestrone and they called and cancelled my appointment because the nurse that draws the blood isn't in today. They said that they wanted to reschedule my appointment for later in the week or the beginning of next week. UMM... I don't think so!! There will be no point in having my bloodwork done if they aren't doing it when they are supposed to. What a bunch of quacks!! I am not going to waste my money if they don't know what they are doing. I will wait to save the money and go to the RE. I told the lady from the institute what they wanted to do and she said that disgusted her. She said they shouldn't be allowed to treat infertility if they didn't know how. I agree 100% with her. Well thats my update. What do all of you think???