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  #1  
July 24th, 2006, 05:00 PM
MommieinNC's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,119
You really don't know me... And I really don’t know you either. I want to tell you right now not to try and fool me into thinking that you do any longer, because I’m not going to pretend either. The fact remains that I really am unknown to you just as you really are unknown to me. This blog was created as a way for me to speak out... to let my feelings come into the open, yet because I was trying to not hurting anyone’s feelings, I shied away from sharing my own true thoughts and feelings.

I've tried to put on a strong face about everything and pretend I'm ok, but to put it both honestly and bluntly without beating around the bush... I'm not. You know what though? I know you don't care. I know you could care less about what I'm feeling. My thoughts and feelings aren't important to you, and it shouldn't be like that. Yet, I put up with it. I deal with it... Why? Because I care.

At the same time though, I'm not going to throw a temper tantrum about it... It confuses me greatly on many levels... Because I know lots of things, and I just don't understand how and why on many different... But maybe it's because I just don't want to understand... So here I am, trying to be strong about this... I'm putting on the nice, happy face, and pretending that I could care less... and that I'm ok. Deep down, I know you can see past this, but once again... you don't care.

Reality check 101 though in case you didn't know it. I'm not ok. And if you don't realize this by now, you never will.
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  #2  
July 24th, 2006, 06:15 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh Cari I am so sorry you are feeling this way. If you need someone to talk to, PM me. I may not be going through what you are but I can still offer you a shoulder or an ear. Just try to hang in there sweetie.
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  #3  
July 24th, 2006, 07:31 PM
mrobinson
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<div class=\'quotetop\'>QUOTE(Cari @ Jul 24 2006, 06:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class=\'quotemain\'>You really don\'t know me... And I really don’t know you either. I want to tell you right now not to try and fool me into thinking that you do any longer, because I’m not going to pretend either. The fact remains that I really am unknown to you just as you really are unknown to me. This blog was created as a way for me to speak out... to let my feelings come into the open, yet because I was trying to not hurting anyone’s feelings, I shied away from sharing my own true thoughts and feelings.

I\'ve tried to put on a strong face about everything and pretend I\'m ok, but to put it both honestly and bluntly without beating around the bush... I\'m not. You know what though? I know you don\'t care. I know you could care less about what I\'m feeling. My thoughts and feelings aren\'t important to you, and it shouldn\'t be like that. Yet, I put up with it. I deal with it... Why? Because I care.

At the same time though, I\'m not going to throw a temper tantrum about it... It confuses me greatly on many levels... Because I know lots of things, and I just don\'t understand how and why on many different... But maybe it\'s because I just don\'t want to understand... So here I am, trying to be strong about this... I\'m putting on the nice, happy face, and pretending that I could care less... and that I\'m ok. Deep down, I know you can see past this, but once again... you don\'t care.

Reality check 101 though in case you didn\'t know it. I\'m not ok. And if you don\'t realize this by now, you never will.[/b][/quote]


Cari.. Somedays it may feel like the whole world may not care, but I swear I've been wondering how you are doing.. I have been debating with myself just talking about that f*(#ing adoption thread in the debates because we seem to really agree there.. I wonder, how as a birthmom you are dealing with your own issues let alone the reality of them all, as discussed within that thread....

It was just a silly way to try to figure you out.. to try to open up some dialogue. I've seen your posts in many areas and I worry about you. This post of yours now just let me put my cards on the table.

If you want to vent more, vent away. If you ever want to chat, please feel free.. my door is always open.
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  #4  
July 25th, 2006, 10:36 AM
whitlovesoak's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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i am sorry you feel that no one cares. but i honestly have read your posts and do wonder about you often. i know you are dealing with a lot. and maybe you still think i don't care but i will tell you i do. i hope you come to realize that. and i also hope you are doing a little better. i do think of you and always hope you are doing well. xoxo.
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  #5  
July 25th, 2006, 03:06 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
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Cari, there are people out there who do care about you!!! It may not seem like it sometimes, but it is true! I know you dont post over on the DDC anymore, not really sure why, but I have wondered about and worried about you! I have seen a few of your posts here, and I see your struggles even more. If you ever want to "talk" feel free to PM me anytime, and of course you are ALWAYS welcome to come and here and vent away and get whatever you need to out!!!! (((((HUGS)))))
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  #6  
July 25th, 2006, 06:31 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
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Cari - I am not going to say I totally get it - cause I'm not sure I could. What I will say is that I know what it feels like to feel that most don't really care & they do things out of some effort to try to help (often in a way you don't want help) or to try & put their input into it - like you should take their advice...both of which become tiring quickly. I'm sorry you don't feel heard, understood, cared about. I don't know if I could be of any help - but I'm around a lot & you offered me some good input through Pm before - so I want you to know I'd be happy to try.

I wish you all the best!
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #7  
July 26th, 2006, 12:49 AM
MommieinNC's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,119
Thanks ladies... I really needed all that!!!
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  #8  
July 26th, 2006, 01:42 AM
greenjeans's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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i care about you :kiss:
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  #9  
July 26th, 2006, 09:17 AM
mrobinson
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Quote:
Thanks ladies... I really needed all that!!![/b]
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  #10  
July 27th, 2006, 03:55 PM
mrobinson
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Check it out!!
http://www.justmommies.com/boards/in...owtopic=288637
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