Log In Sign Up

Husband DOESN'T GET IT


Forum: The Venting Room

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To The Venting Room LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
December 7th, 2012, 01:26 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1
I don't know what to do. I feel so fed up with my marriage. My husband has never been the sensitive type but in all other areas he has always taken care of me and treated me well. However whenever it comes to me being too emotional he doesn't know how to handle it and it always turns into an argument because everything has to make sense to him so in the past Ive gotten good at just not showing my emotions around him. Even thought he's heard it a million times he doesn't get that sometimes women are just emotional and need a hug. Since I got pregnant Ive tried to make sure he knows that women are just extra emotional during this time. I don't know how much more I can try to impress this upon him bc he seriously doesn't get it. I was fine throughout my 1st trimester but ever since my 2nd hit Ive been an emotional mess and I admit I havent been too nice to him at times. My lack of niceness I know stems from resentment though. All he does is get frustrated at me for being emotional and then when I am not so nice he is mean back. He even called me an ***** last night and we went to bed without speaking and he left for work this morning without saying anything. I feel so sad and alone. There is NO getting through to him our discussions are an endless circle and he is 100% against counseling. What can I do if talking to him about these matters does NOTHING? He also always has to be right and in the end there is no point even trying because he will talk you in a circle he should have been a lawyer. I have no energy for this.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
December 11th, 2012, 02:31 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: California
Posts: 5,500
HUGE HUGS! I can't believe he called you the B word! I am baffled by spouses using profanity towards each other. Has he treated you that way before? If not, maybe the stress of a baby on the way is overwhelming for him. Whatever it is, I hope you two get to a better place.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
December 12th, 2012, 08:46 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Somewhere in the universe =P
Posts: 192
I feel sorry for you...your DH is so much alike w/ my DH of being insensitive to how I feel but he's a super sensitive to his! We're goin on circles as well whenever we have discussions and I'm tired with those already so I just keep my mouth shut -- less words, less mistakes, less arguments. Though calling you a B---- was too much! I could slap him if he was my DH. But you know, arguments and fightings are not worth to contribute to especially now that youre preg, just keep your cool and talk with him nicely. Hope things get better.
__________________
I have the best job in the world the second time! -- and I'm lovin' it!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
July 25th, 2013, 10:48 AM
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 37
I discovered that my DH responds well to letters. He can read them in his own time and really hear what I'm saying without getting defensive. (He's very good at making every convo about him even when my feelings have nothing to do with him). I think it's insecurity getting in the way, sometimes. Writing took that out of the equation so it's a helpful tool when we have been going in circles on a certain topic for a while.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
August 3rd, 2013, 09:39 AM
LUSHaye's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 999
Very glad you were able to find an effective way of communicating!
Letters really allow the reader to 'listen' and gives them time to form their words with some real thought.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
February 13th, 2014, 02:41 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 440
Quote:
Originally Posted by SummerSun View Post
I discovered that my DH responds well to letters. He can read them in his own time and really hear what I'm saying without getting defensive. (He's very good at making every convo about him even when my feelings have nothing to do with him). I think it's insecurity getting in the way, sometimes. Writing took that out of the equation so it's a helpful tool when we have been going in circles on a certain topic for a while.
My husband can be insensitive about my feelings as well. especially when i get emotional(even more so now that im pregnant) and he doesn't understand. Although he has been getting a little better, i guess.
I have tried what SummerSun mentioned above with writing letters because my husband also, tried to turn everything around and make it about him. However for us that doesn't always work out very well.

Sometimes I even wait until he is at work to tell him when something is bothering me because it is easier for me to communicate thru letters/texts than in person(i have always been that way with everyone though).

Hope things start getting better for you though!
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:58 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0