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  #1  
September 8th, 2004, 07:57 PM
tig2ger4lifemommy
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I just need to vent!!!

I love my DH. But things haven't been always and aren't the wonderful pic that I probably give off. I've been having some serious issues with him. They started over a yr ago and everytime I tell him he is falling into the same problem again, he corrects himself, but for how long!!!!!!! AGH!!!

OK....Everyone knows a lot is going on in my life and right now this is the biggest, but my patience of saying I forgive you is running thin.....ready to flip out and tell him so!

I have been told when this first started I should have left him....I didn't now he is more careful, but I have a pretty bad feeling he is at it again. Do we stay with them just because we love them and don't know how to leave????

AGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #2  
September 8th, 2004, 07:59 PM
Janelle's Avatar Super Mommy
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((( HUGS)))) serious ones comming your way. I really hope you find what you need and I know a couple of people around here would help you kick some serious butt if need be. JLUK Take care please.
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  #3  
September 8th, 2004, 08:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Tennessee
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I don't know really how to answer that question. I guess it depends on what it is he is doing and how long he has been doing it. I think, at some point, depending on the problem, it is best to let someone go if they are not willing to work on their problems. I hope things get better for you! :hug2:
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  #4  
September 8th, 2004, 08:11 PM
tig2ger4lifemommy
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Quote:
Originally posted by mommycolvin@Sep 8 2004, 10:01 PM
I don't know really how to answer that question. I guess it depends on what it is he is doing and how long he has been doing it. I think, at some point, depending on the problem, it is best to let someone go if they are not willing to work on their problems. I hope things get better for you! :hug2:
he likes to strike up friendships with women on the net and they sometimes get a little past friendship(being nice here...I think way past, but he says that). He says he doesn't realize what he is doing and is sorry. Then he also yells at me. I know things are stressful, but I don't verbally take it out on him. He has done that since we were married....that should give you an idea of what I'm up against. (I'm somewhat embrassed by saying all this!)
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  #5  
September 8th, 2004, 11:14 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,663
Don't be embarrassed. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. This is his problem, not yours. My mom went through the same thing through their whole marriage. My dad would strike up "friendships" with women, online, offline, didn't matter. My mom finally got sick of it, and with his last affair (yeah, his were more "friendly" than he let on as well) she gave him an ultimatum. It was either her and his family, or it was the other woman, and he would have to leave. He chose the other woman and left. She held out for 26 years, and just couldn't take it anymore. She always says she wishes she had done it way sooner. So, I guess maybe you just have to reach your breaking point. I hope everything gets better and you are able to make the right decision for you and your family, whatever it may be. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
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  #6  
September 8th, 2004, 11:46 PM
ranidae
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I dont really feel like I can give advise on this one, but I can say I have been there. I told most of my story in the L&I forum but if you need to talk to someone who understands and wont tell you what you "need" to do feel free to email or im me taceyjnr@comcast.net yahoo:jonsbestgirl MSN:rani_dae@hotmail.com
(HUGS)
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  #7  
September 9th, 2004, 02:29 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Norhern California
Posts: 2,592
Becky,

If what your dh is doing is hurting you then he needs to stop. Period.

I obviously don't know the whole story, but from your posts it sounded like your dh isn't intending to hurt you, but is having trouble knowing how/when to draw the line with the women he meets on the Net. If you're open to the idea of counseling, you and your dh might be able to get some help there.

I'm really sorry you're going through this, Becky. You know you can email me anytime you need someone to talk to. (((Hugs)))
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  #8  
September 9th, 2004, 02:40 AM
Alice's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 2,057
I'm in totally over my head here, but would you consider counseling?? Either for both of you... so you can see how to strengthen your marriage, or just for yourself, so you can find the answers to the questions you're asking us?? I think those types of decisions have to be made by the individual. So as much as out imput may give you something to think about, it's your situation and your life.

Perhaps you could try your church or even your local high school guidance office. Call and ask if they can recommend a counselor. (You can be anonymous on the phone if you prefer) Maybe it will help.

Good luck!
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  #9  
September 9th, 2004, 09:10 AM
I Heart 4x4
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((((( hugs ))))))


I am here for you, Bec. Call me if ya need to. Anytime!!
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  #10  
September 9th, 2004, 09:18 AM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ohio.....I was born in Portsmouth, Virginia.
Posts: 15,494
Sorry things are going in that direction again with your hubby.
My heart goes out to you! I would say counseling might help. But, sometimes splitting up is the answer!
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  #11  
September 9th, 2004, 11:10 AM
SpideyMom
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HUGS hon! I'm so sorry I didn't see this sooner, but I did PM you. I saw you called me earlier, feel free to call again. I'm so sorry I missed your call today. :hug2:
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  #12  
September 9th, 2004, 12:06 PM
mom2one's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally posted by tig2ger4lifemommy+Sep 8 2004, 10:11 PM-->
Quote:
<!--QuoteBegin-mommycolvin
Quote:
@Sep 8 2004, 10:01 PM
I don't know really how to answer that question. I guess it depends on what it is he is doing and how long he has been doing it. I think, at some point, depending on the problem, it is best to let someone go if they are not willing to work on their problems. I hope things get better for you! :hug2:
he likes to strike up friendships with women on the net and they sometimes get a little past friendship(being nice here...I think way past, but he says that). He says he doesn't realize what he is doing and is sorry. Then he also yells at me. I know things are stressful, but I don't verbally take it out on him. He has done that since we were married....that should give you an idea of what I'm up against. (I'm somewhat embrassed by saying all this!) [/b]
Don't be embarrassed! :hug2: At least you are trying really hard to let him know his behavior is not acceptable...and he seems receptive on trying to change. Honestly I think the puter/internet can be addictive. You'll have to remove the computer from the home. Or remove the internet access until it is out of his system. It is so hard to walk away from the internet after you have established yourself on a site somewhere. Take it out of the house. He needs to find something else to occupy his time. How much time is he spending on the net? Is it getting out of hand? IMHO, there is no obsessive fun time until all chores and responsibilites are taken care of, which is hardly ever. So popping in on the puter once in a while is fine, but honestly there is much more that needs to be done at my house, so my dh has no business spending that much time on the puter to get himself in trouble KWIM? He must be spending an awful lot of time on the puter.

I would be one him like a hawk....have you seeen the kitchen, it needs cleaning, how bout the luandry or vaccumm!

As for yelling...I hear you there, it sucks. No advice except keep telling him to stop and you'll talk to him when he has cooled off.

Good luck and take care!
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  #13  
September 9th, 2004, 12:09 PM
mom2one's Avatar Super Mommy
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Sorry double post!
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  #14  
September 10th, 2004, 09:03 AM
Texas Mom
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ITA w/Mom2One....I was cheated on with my ex-DH, but we didn't have kids to think about either...so he left. My best friends DH has had (that we know of) 5 affairs...even with the lady who he called on the phone to get phone service at their new home. ITA with Mom2one about the internet being addictive, but when you have a problem, like this other guy...I think the inclination is there to just look for it at another outlet. Get counseling, definately...you not only need to look out for you, but your kiddos! :hug2: That situation sucks....the hardest part will be staying strong NO matter what you end up doing. Prayers your way too...Crissy
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  #15  
September 10th, 2004, 07:27 PM
tig2ger4lifemommy
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Quote:
That situation sucks....the hardest part will be staying strong NO matter what you end up doing. Prayers your way too...Crissy[/b]
Ladies,

Staying Strong.....It is soooooo hard. I'm trying to figure things out, so be patient if I seem to be here off and on.

This weekend will be the tell-tale weekend......

Keep the prayers coming and pray I'll be strong when I need to!!!
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  #16  
September 10th, 2004, 08:57 PM
I Heart 4x4
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I'm here for you!
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  #17  
September 11th, 2004, 04:34 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Norhern California
Posts: 2,592
Becky,

Sending strong woman vibes your way. I hope you get the answers you need this weekend.

(((HUGS)))
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