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my parents have been married for almost 15 years. i'm 17, was the flower girls in their wedding. the past four years he's been having an affair with his ex girlfriend. we'll call her K, for conversation. K was my dad's first girlfriend, and claims that it's fate that brought them together after all these years, and they're soul mates. my parents have three kids together, and K has 3 kids by 3 men.
dad has been moving between our houses for two years. her three kids (14ish, 12ish, and 9ish) call him dad- even though they see their bio dads every weekend. he hasn't seen me or my sisters in weeks, doesn't text us, doesn't call us, doesn't try to interact with us. i'm pregnant and he hasn't reacted to it at all, other than to tell me that by making him a grandpa before 40, i ruined him as a bachelor. uhm, you're married? who cares about your romantic eligibility?
so, anyway, i've decided to cut him out of my life and my daughter's life. i'm not going to tell him because then he'll get all offended for about seven minutes, then he'll have some important thing to do, he'll talk to me later, and we'll never talk again anyway. i'm so sick of his drama. i want him to man up and be the father he's supposed to be. now that i'm having a child of my own, family has a renewed sense of importance in my life, and i'd hate for him to miss his first grandchild (the only child i'm having) because of his immaturity and selfishness.
it's just kind of a sad irony that a seventeen year old pregnant girl can rely more on her baby daddy then her own dad, but eh, that's the world today i guess.
i can relate. my bio father was in and out of my life starting at age 3. which was hard because, well kids need fathers. then he disappeared when i was about 9. stopped calling. stopped sending gifts (he rarely did those anyways) and was just gone. my mother moved us from california to minnesota where her new husband (my FORMER stepfather) was originally from. at 16 bio just popped back into my life. my mom really didn't care if we had a relationship or not but for some reason it pissed my step father off so we had to hide texts and phone calls with our father which i thought was ridic.
it seemed weird though that he would randomly pop back in when i was a teenager so i was pretty hesitant for YEARS. it's taken a long time, but at age 24, we now have a good relationship. my mom and him have a good friendship (mostly because she kicked cheating step to the curb).
basically, you never know. he may smarten up and want to be apart of your lives. maybe he thinks with you being 17 you don't need him around as much, so you should try to remind him of that. especially with a grandbaby on the way. explain to him that if he wants to be a positive role in her life, he can't be popping in and out.
since you commented back i feel like i should update you:
since this post, he's cut off contact with his girlfriend completely. my boyfriend and i actually were the ones who picked him up from her house the last time. he had so many bags of clothes my trunk was almost full. he was still real distant with me though, choosing to talk to me through my boyfriend, who he carpooled to work with every day. when my daughter was born 3 weeks ago though he was enchanted. he's the one here with us during the weekdays and he's been a huge help to me. he's still very awkward with me though, but we're talking, and that's all i really wanted.