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  #21  
January 29th, 2014, 02:10 PM
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 28
that is what I am doing. he kept asking if we are going to try and fix it and I just kept saying I don't know anymore... what I do know is this is the last time we try to fix anything... so I will see if he is even trying to fix it and I don't just mean him texting every so often "I love you" or attempting to buy me or girls stuff... because that too I am tired of.. him saying he don't mind getting things for us we are a family we deserve to be spoiled to turn around and say I am expensive... I do feel like that really it is going down hill and no matter what we do its done.... ugh
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  #22  
January 29th, 2014, 05:47 PM
Rainbow Momma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansa City, MO
Posts: 2,006
i know it can be upsetting but do whats going to make you happy..because it def doesnt sound like he's making you happy anymore
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Amanda, patner to Angel
TTC our first!!
Birth mom to Macie 2/19/06
Mom to Ryden, Angel in Heavan 5/21/10








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  #23  
January 30th, 2014, 10:20 AM
rachelc0's Avatar 2 sons, 3 angel babies
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 535
it sounds like you know what has to be done, but you're afraid to do it. what is holding you back?
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10/06/2008 - Miscarriage @ 6wks
12/08/2009 - Healthy Baby Boy
11/02/2011 - Healthy Baby Boy
06/09/2014 - Stillborn @ 39wks 6days
08/09/2014 - Miscarriage @ 5wks
09/03/2014 - Chemical Pregnancy
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  #24  
January 30th, 2014, 06:47 PM
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 28
I don't know... I just start to panic and give in with "trying" to fix it again... I don't know if that's part of the anxiety that I am dealing with ( I see a counselor for it) ...
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  #25  
January 31st, 2014, 10:48 AM
rachelc0's Avatar 2 sons, 3 angel babies
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 535
the unknown is always terrifying for everybody. will it hurt at first, yes. will it be hard, yes. will you be better in the long run, YES. sometimes we just have to jump in with both feet and not keep looking back at what was, but look forward to what may be
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10/06/2008 - Miscarriage @ 6wks
12/08/2009 - Healthy Baby Boy
11/02/2011 - Healthy Baby Boy
06/09/2014 - Stillborn @ 39wks 6days
08/09/2014 - Miscarriage @ 5wks
09/03/2014 - Chemical Pregnancy
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  #26  
February 6th, 2014, 11:10 AM
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 28
feel like a coward.. I want to break up wit him once h job sends him back to Denver... I am to scared to do it now face to face and the fact that he is staying with me and my dad. he has o where to go... I feel like that by waiting I am hurting both of us... I am such a coward...
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  #27  
February 6th, 2014, 11:24 AM
Rainbow Momma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansa City, MO
Posts: 2,006
You're not a coward! it is a very hard thing to do. just gotta have faith in yourself:0
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__________________
Amanda, patner to Angel
TTC our first!!
Birth mom to Macie 2/19/06
Mom to Ryden, Angel in Heavan 5/21/10








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  #28  
February 6th, 2014, 03:27 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 28
Thank you, I am trying to find that courage to do it sooner...
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  #29  
February 7th, 2014, 08:12 AM
rachelc0's Avatar 2 sons, 3 angel babies
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 535
i wouldn't say a coward now, but i do think that waiting until he leaves for you to leave him is cowardly. put the babies in another room and tell him its time to talk. if you live with your dad, maybe have him there (if not in the room, in the house) so things don't get out of hand.

if he doesn't have any place to go, it really isn't your responsibility (as harsh as that is to say). but if you told him that he could crash there for a little longer, that may make you feel better, but could turn a bad situation into an awkward one for sure. especially if he wants to try to get you back. the best thing is to cut and run. break up and distance yourself as much as possible and since the kids aren't biologically his, you don't have to maintain any ties. at least for a while.

it's not going to be fun and its going to hurt and he may get angry. but do it face to face. it's the most mature thing and will show that if he isn't willing to compromise, you're ready to move on without him. just flip the situation in your head, how would you feel if you left and then he broke up with you. over the phone or via text. it would probably suck (coming from someone who was dumped in highschool via NOTE it was ridic). time to swollow the fear and hash this thing out once and for all.

the sooner the better
__________________


10/06/2008 - Miscarriage @ 6wks
12/08/2009 - Healthy Baby Boy
11/02/2011 - Healthy Baby Boy
06/09/2014 - Stillborn @ 39wks 6days
08/09/2014 - Miscarriage @ 5wks
09/03/2014 - Chemical Pregnancy
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  #30  
February 11th, 2014, 10:28 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 28
thank you. we did break up and it was face to face. it was really hard because he didn't want too. two hours later he got it and agreed but the rest of the day begged me to sleep with him before he left for Denver.... didn't happen... now he is posting mine and girls picture on his facebook in a designated album and even had a sleeping picture of me? its kind a freaking me out... all he has been texting me is how he wants me back and even asked if we got back together if I will have a kid with him... my tubes are tied and he knows this....
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  #31  
February 14th, 2014, 02:45 PM
rachelc0's Avatar 2 sons, 3 angel babies
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 535
great job, i'm proud of you!


sounds like the last act of a desperate man, but you save face. no matter what he says or promises, you stay strong UNLESS he is absolutely willing to compromise and at the very least do counseling. he's going to try to manipulate you with sweet texts and facebook stuff, but don't succum. you've drawn your line in the sand, make sure you stick to it. at some point, when he figures his ploy isn't working, he will wither get angry and vindictive, or be willing to come back to the table and work it out. either senario will help you see whats in your future.


good luck to you momma!
miskamiah likes this.
__________________


10/06/2008 - Miscarriage @ 6wks
12/08/2009 - Healthy Baby Boy
11/02/2011 - Healthy Baby Boy
06/09/2014 - Stillborn @ 39wks 6days
08/09/2014 - Miscarriage @ 5wks
09/03/2014 - Chemical Pregnancy
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  #32  
February 16th, 2014, 09:45 AM
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 28
thank you! I have been staying strong and apparently every girl he has tried to hit on or talk bad about me has came to me and shown me the texts so I know for sure that every "sweet" texts is BS ... I will stay strong for my baby girls. thank you everyone who has let me vent about this and gave me advice! I am glad that now I am done with him I feel so much better no frustration. this mommy wakes up with a smile and giggles with her babies <3
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