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  #1  
September 14th, 2004, 10:40 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
Ok first I need to tell you a bit about this situation. When I got pg with Freja after being engaged to Joe for a year my mother told me to have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption. We had been trying for 6 months and I was SOPOOO UPSET with her. She told me children had ruined her life and they would ruin mine too. Well I didn't talk to her untill I was 8 months pg and then she suddenly started showing up with gifts and money. She never apologized and frankly I've never forgiven her. She still makes little comments like 'well you are the one who had a baby' or 'that's what adoption is good for' Well I try and ignore her, but when she sits there and CUDDLES MY BABY THAT SHE WANTED ME TO MURDER I WANT TO SCREAM! If she would STOP with comments it MIGHT be better but now we have a NEW problem.
Money is tight, Joe works at walmart. And I put in an application and got a job interview, my mother SPAZZED OUT! Telling me I was selfish and that a mother's job was to stay home with her children and not send them to daycare. Well for one Freja wouldn't be going to daycare, Joe has been transfered to night shifts 10pm-7 am AND I would be working anywhere from 9 am-9pm. She started talking to me about money and loosing our assistance. (MY MOM HATES people who get government assistance and wants us to STAY on it?) See because money is so tight with Joe working and not me we had food stamps however now that I have a job we will be loosing them (YAY!) We are saving for a house (which my mom doesn't agree on either) ANYWAY my mom is spazing out and I told her money is tight, winter and fall are coming FREJA AND I need winter and fall clothes! It's not a want, it's a NESSESITY! I own TWO sweatshirts to my name. Freja has ONE jacket! THAT'S IT!
Well I got the job, my mother has called me EVERY 2 HOURS today since she found out to YELL AT ME for being a SELFISH MOTHER!! OMG! I am sooo ticked right now! I want to tell her how much of a B!tch she is being. I've decided when I get pg with number 2 I'm not telling her till I'm showing and then telling her to butt the hell out. She also told me I should only have 2 children! ERG!
ANyway thanks for letting me vent! :soapbox:
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  #2  
September 14th, 2004, 10:44 PM
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:hug2: Awwww Melissa!!! you need anything for your Princess give me a hollar .. im somewhere under this pile that my dd's have grown out of! You know my opinion on your mom .. what an idiot.. lets leave it to that... grrrr
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  #3  
September 15th, 2004, 05:10 AM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(((HUGS))) Tell her she's not the one that has to raise or care for you daughter so mind her own business. If she doesnt want you to get a job then tell her to pay the bills your stuggling with. If she thinks that Freja "shouldnt have been" tell her that she doesnt deserve to be around such a
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  #4  
September 15th, 2004, 09:13 AM
I Heart 4x4
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Wow, that really sucks.

I know that if my mom was constantly calling me to be rude about my family, everytime she called I would say "I'm sorry Mom, I am too busy to listen to your rudeness. I will call you back some other time ... " and I would hang up. I would do this every single time she called, until she finally broke down and said "I'm not calling to be rude!".

As for you being on assistance right now - parents must do what they must to care for their children. You're on food stamps - so the heck what? So was I. If you have to get a job, you are being a great mother by providing for your child, and not only is there no hamr in that - I completely respect you for it. I think it is awesome when families work together to make themselves great. And that is exactly what you're doing. Kudos!

If you need to vent, you can IM me on AIM anytime!!!
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  #5  
September 15th, 2004, 11:04 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
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Thanks girls, I really needed to vent last night. It's crazy! She calls everyday or ims me and if I don't answer she freaks out and shows up at the door! Grrrr
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  #6  
September 15th, 2004, 12:46 PM
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Don't you just hate being told what is right or wrong. Happy you got a job. But you really have to tell your mother how you feel. You'll feel better hopefully once you told her how you feel. My mother was being that way also. I told her how I felt. She is angry with me in one sense. But ok with it in another sense. I felt good telling my mother how I felt. It was not a thing of hating her. It was telling her. I'm a grown woman, married with a son. That I am big enough to take care of myself. Make my own decisions with my life and my family. That I do not have to answer to her anymore. I only answer to my dh now. As for winter clothing for you and your child. Are there any outreach places that might give you some of those things. We have one in our area. All you have to do is show proof of your monthly income and proof you live in the area they serve. Every 30 days they will give you a bag of food and allow you to pick through clothing they have for adults and kids. Taking a bag of clothing also every 30 days. It's not only for people on food stamps or public assistance. They have income guidelines for working parents. How much and below you can earn to get help. You could contact your local health dept or the Salvation Army who might know of such a place in your area for assistance.
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  #7  
September 15th, 2004, 01:00 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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((((HUGS)))) to you! That is terrible for your Mom to treat you that way! Shame on her! I hope things get better! GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR JOB!
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  #8  
September 15th, 2004, 03:12 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boothwyn, PA
Posts: 1,026
I'm soo sorry to hear that. What your mom is saying is just :bs: I have no advice to give you @ your mom. There is nothing wrong with wanting a family and wanting to provide for that family however you see fit. Lots of Hugs to you and your daughter.
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  #9  
September 15th, 2004, 04:38 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Indiana
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Hey girls, well she's backed off a bit!!! YAY!! lmao! My brother and his wife had a new baby so now my mother is bothering them!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA just in the nick of time lmao. Teehee, anyway I've tried talking to her but she pulls this crud saying she is STILL our mom and it's her JOB to help us. ARG! Not when we DON"T NEED or WANT her help. Anyways maybe if my brothers' and their girls and wives keep popping out babies she'll leave me alone for a while
I've VERY excited about my job and don't think I'm selfish at all, and I'm very excited we found a way so that Freja won't have to go to daycare
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  #10  
September 16th, 2004, 08:03 AM
Carol
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*Sound of ringing telephone*

Melissa: Hello?
Mom: Hi Melissa. Are you still going to be selfish and take that job, blah blah blah.
Melissa: *Click*


That's how I handle rude family/acquaintances.
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  #11  
September 16th, 2004, 08:25 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
LOL@carol! I wish I could do that. The ONLY time I ever hung up on my mom I was sitting here for like 10 minutes and there'sa knock at the door, GUESS WHO IS WAS! I emailed her this morning and told he I UNDERSTAND her life is boring but to stay out of mine. GRRRR! She drives me nuts. She kept instqant messaging me this morning because i wouldn't answer. I WAS IN THE SHOWER WITH AN AWAY MESSAGE UP! I'm sorry I'm complaining so much girls she is just really getting bleh.
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  #12  
September 16th, 2004, 07:22 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
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I know that it is hard to tell your mom how you feel sometimes, but I think that you really need to try to get through to her and tell her how you feel. Does she realize that your DD doesn't have to go to daycare?? Sounds like she doesn't have much of a life of her own if she has to keep butting into yours and everyone elses to keep herself busy. Block her on the IM and the phone if you have to and just dont answer the door when she comes a banging.

CONGRATS on the new job!!!!!! :clapping: Don't let her discourage you from achieving what you want! Hang in there and lots of (((HUGS)))
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  #13  
September 16th, 2004, 08:10 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
Thanks hun. I won't let her get me down. She knows my dd won't go to daycare but she's one of those people who stays home with the kids and goes to work when the last kid starts shcool. So she thinks going to work before the kids are in school is BAD and selfish
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