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Well I first want to thank all you ladies for the great advice and support. It means a lot to me. I don't have a lot of friends (actually have one who works all the time) so it's nice to be able to "tell" someone whats going on and how I really feel.
Update- I finally spoke with "ex" again and it was horrible. I didn't really mention in the first post about him being bi-polar but now it's real obvious to me this has a lot to do with it. I told him it was completely over and for my sake and both my daughters it would be best for us to keep as friends but go our seperate ways. He was begging and pleading to make it work and I STUCK TO MY GUNS. It hurts so bad but I know it's for the best. Now he is talking about paternity tests and the baby isn't his and then he's saying he is getting full custody and so on and so on. I know he won't get custody of this baby but there is always that worry that we will go to court and the judge will give joint custody and then when he has her for a vistitation he will kidnap her or something. I was sooo scared that my oldest DD father would do that b/c he was getting ready to go to prison. Thank god that he had supervised vistiation with her though.
Anyways, one phone is I love you I want it to work. The next is I hate your guts you wont ever see your daughter again as soon as she is born. It is getting to the point where I don't answer the phone now. He upsets me sooo much and the sad part is-I still love him. I know that looking at my DD and feeling my unborn DD should give me the strength to forget about him. I feel so horrible as a mom b/c I can't get the strength I need.
Well now that I'm in tears, , Im going to cool off and take a shower. Thanks for listening to me again.
I am so proud of you!!!! You are really doing a good thing. Don't worry about losing custody of your daughter - that was a desperate plea to make you stay. No way on this green Earth would any judge give custody to someone like that!!! In fact, you probably should take the initiative and get full legal custody and request his visitation be supervised.
I think you're doing the right thing. From what you say I dont think he can get custody. If he trys tell them that you want him to under go drug tests and a mental evaluation. If he doesnt pass there is no doubt you will get full custody.
WAY TO GO!!! You are a very strong and couragous woman!! You CAN do this!! He is just trying to scare you into feeling guilty to come back to him. You need to go down to child support and get it ordered for him to pay and let them know what he is saying to you about taking your DD and stuff and maybe they can give you some advice as to what steps to take next. Hang in there!!!!!
ITA with all the mommies, no judge is gonna take the kids out of a loving home....I would demand psychological testing on him if he threatens again! Seen this with my sisters.....these types of guys just love playing mind games with you and will say anything when they are feeling threatened that you are no longer within their graps. Props to you and stay strong!