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  #1  
September 20th, 2004, 08:18 AM
Barbara's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 137
I feel like I'm being judged by my mother-in-law. She's a great person and helps me out anytime I need her. Just sometimes I feel like she judges the way I parent. She's had alot more experience with babies than I have ( she was a home health nurse). She taught poor uneducated mothers how to take care of their babies.

Sometimes, she trys to use that same logic on me. Let's see....for example she doesn't believe in those Baby Einstein DVD's. I think she believes that I'm letting my baby watch TV all day. Also, she advised me not to buy a baby walker which might cause a baby to be pigeon-toed. She doesn't like to take medicine so when my child is teething I shouldn't give him Tylenol. Also, I shouldn't encourage my baby to hold his bottle not healthy!!

She doesn't like daycares, she believes I should have continued to breastfeed my son. (at least a year)

You think I'm being too sensitive?
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  #2  
September 20th, 2004, 08:29 AM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
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Posts: 27,881
Nope. I think you are fine. Walkers dont cause you kid to be pigeon-toed. I've read in alot of books/mags that that is an old wives tale plus my son isnt pigeon toed. He needs to learn how to hold his bottle cause you cant do it for him forever plus I feel like it helps with hand-eye cordination. Sometimes you need to put a video on for your kid so you can get stuff done around the house. Its not like he's watching something bad, Baby Einstien is a smart video. If your sons ped says he can have tylenol for teething then go ahead and give it to him. I give it to my son when he's in pain and he is fine. And for the breastfeeding its your boobs and you can do with them what you want! This is all just my honest opinion. I also think that even though our kids grandparents may have more experience they can sometimes be over protective of our kids.
I hope things get better.
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  #3  
September 20th, 2004, 08:43 AM
zonapellucida
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That's is terrific (sarcasm)--I find the best way to deal with unwanted advice is toacknowledge it then do what you want anyway. Judge not lest thee be judged....
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  #4  
September 20th, 2004, 09:06 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,663
I agree with Heidi. Smile and nod and then go about your business the way you feel fit. He is your child and nothing that you mentioned sounds like you are doing anything wrong at all. All are things most people do with their babies. It sounds like your MIL is just one of those people who think they know best all the time. Don't worry about it. I'm sure you're doing fine.
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  #5  
September 20th, 2004, 12:59 PM
I Heart 4x4
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Remember - you're the mother of your child, not her ... so no, you're not being too sensitive.
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  #6  
September 20th, 2004, 01:29 PM
Texas Mom
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Oh I can soooo relate! I can't tell my MIL anything, but I do tell my Dad to have his own kid if he wants to raise one! Hang in there, nothing you've said is unfounded...they are just from the old school....gotta love a challenge! ITA with Lydia, do a lot of smiling and nodding.....in no time you'll be a pro!
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  #7  
September 20th, 2004, 03:18 PM
crazylady
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Man oh man can i relate!! ITA with how everyones telling you to just smile, nod , and walk away!! that is such good advice....other than that, if shes really bothering you just tell her that you appreciate her advice (though most likely you dont) but that you have YOUR own ways of raising YOUR child and to please repsect that....After that all i can say is GOOD LUCK!!
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  #8  
September 20th, 2004, 05:13 PM
Alice's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,057
To add to the excellent advice you've already been given: don't tell her too much! Try not to put yourself into a situation where she can comment on what YOUR'E doing... keep the converstation centered on what the milestones your son is accomplishing. She'll have a harder time criticizing his actions than yours.
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  #9  
September 20th, 2004, 11:35 PM
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Location: Indiana
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Quote:
Let's see....for example she doesn't believe in those Baby Einstein DVD's. I think she believes that I'm letting my baby watch TV all day[/b]
I asked Freja's pediatritian if it was ok she watched the disney channel shows for little kids and he said it was Excellent. It will help her in the long run. I let her watch Between the lions all the time.

Quote:
Also, she advised me not to buy a baby walker which might cause a baby to be pigeon-toed.[/b]
Ok that is one of the STUPIDEST statements I've ever heard. You are BORN pigeon-toed, it doesn't just magickally happen (in almost 99% of the cases it's from birth) I had braces on my legs as an infant I was soooooo pigeon-toed. I have a walker for freja, it's safer then her trying to learn to stand on our hard floors.

Quote:
She doesn't like to take medicine so when my child is teething I shouldn't give him Tylenol.[/b]
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA Sorry this one has me laughing sooooo hard. Freja has been holding her bottle since 6 months, we were told it helps with hand eye coordination and to let her do it when she wants. It also helped when we introduced her sippy cup.

Quote:
Also, I shouldn't encourage my baby to hold his bottle not healthy!![/b]
That's all well and good, if she wants to have herself another baby she can use the old whiskey method and all those other corny old wives tales to help the baby. Tylenol is a life-saver to us and I will continue to use it and you should too if YOU want to.


Quote:
She doesn't like daycares, she believes I should have continued to breastfeed my son. (at least a year)[/b]
HAHAHAHA She would hate me! I COULDN'T breastfeed so my daughter has had formula from day 1.

Quote:
You think I'm being too sensitive?[/b]
I don't think you are being too sensitive. I think she is being UNsensitive and needs to butt out. Tell her YOU are the mother and if she wants more children to have or adopt more because she is not YOUR child's mom.
I agree with the others, and ignore her, if she gets worse or just WON'T leave it alone, talk to her. Tell her you appreciate her concern but she in not your child's mother and she needs to respect that you are an adult and can raise your child how YOU see fit
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  #10  
September 22nd, 2004, 01:29 PM
Texas Mom
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ITA Alice.....da** good advice girlie!
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  #11  
September 27th, 2004, 01:51 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
I agree with what everyone else has said!! YOU are the mommy not your MIL. In one ear and out the other!! If she keeps it up and it gets to be too much for you all, then I would avoid her as much as I can. Hang in there!
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