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  #1  
September 30th, 2004, 05:58 AM
oreokitten
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I am a SAHM, so many of you know what that means and how my days go. I have four kids, one of them needs to be up and ready for school and have everything ready...and then I have 2 babies too. It's A LOT of work everyday. 6 people in the house with 2 babies!! Anyway....my SO Brian really makes me mad. He works, I don't. That's what I hate. I DO work!!! Just because it's a non-paying job doesn't mean I don't work!! Also, it's ME who is up in the middle of the night with the nursling, and with the other 19 month old who co-sleeps and has a cold, and my four year old who pees the bed and thinks monsters are in her closet. BUT..... Brian thinks he gets to take a nap everyday. "Well because you can sit down and have a break anytime you want to and I can't. I have to wait until my boss says I can." BULLHONKEY!!!! I do NOT get a break anytime I want. I have to wait to go pee when I can trust the kids to behave because the bathroom isn't in site of the kids. Yes I get to be online during the day, but only when I am waiting for the food to get done, or the laundry to stop spinning, or the kids to stop fighting..... Can anyone relate?? Brian fell asleep at 7:00 last night on the couch. I waited until Brielle was really tired and then asked him to move over so I can lay with her so she can go to sleep. He then gets up and goes to bed AND HE DIDN"T TAKE THE BABY!!!! I said I was putting her to sleep, he coulv'e taken her!! ARRGGG. I wait up until 10:00 every night he works late to spend time with him and we stay up past midnight! Then on his day off he goes to sleep instead of spending time with me!! Also, on the nights we stay up, he gets to sleep in!!! I am NOT staying up anymore. He takes me for granted and maybe when he sees that I am choosing sleep over him and he doesn't get to spend time with me anymore then he will stop his crap. I just hate this. We both work just as hard. I wish moms got payed to stay home with their kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :soapbox:
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  #2  
September 30th, 2004, 06:10 AM
I Heart 4x4
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I feel your pain, hon.

Instead of doing that wife swap show ... they should make a show where a SAHM and the working DH trades places for an entire month. We'll see who really works, then!

My only advice would be to talk with your DH. I know it seems pretty obvious, but, maybe he doesn't understand what it takes to make a household of 6 ( ) run smoothly - since he's not around 24-7 he doesn't know.

I know that it is hard, but getting mad and irritated with him and being spiteful toward him won't help your relationship. Try sitting down and talking with him. Suggest that on his next day off, you go out and do something for YOU - without kids, without a cell phone, just go to a spa or a gym. Leave him at home with the kids and tell him the house needs cleaned, the kids need to get dressed and ready for school and dinner needs to be nice, warm and tastey by the time you get home.

HTH!
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  #3  
September 30th, 2004, 07:11 AM
pooker's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2004
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ashley3303@Sep 30 2004, 09:10 AM
Instead of doing that wife swap show ... they should make a show where a SAHM and the working DH trades places for an entire month. We'll see who really works, then!
I absolutely LOVE this idea!!!
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  #4  
September 30th, 2004, 07:46 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
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(((Hugs)))

My dh doesn't get it either and I get so mad when I feel like all the work I do as a full-time mom goes unappreciated!

Quote:
Try sitting down and talking with him. Suggest that on his next day off, you go out and do something for YOU - without kids, without a cell phone, just go to a spa or a gym. Leave him at home with the kids and tell him the house needs cleaned, the kids need to get dressed and ready for school and dinner needs to be nice, warm and tastey by the time you get home.[/b]
I think this is an excellent idea!!
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  #5  
September 30th, 2004, 07:50 AM
christianmommato3's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(((HUGS))))
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  #6  
September 30th, 2004, 09:34 AM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Were you talking about your own household or mine??? Sounds pretty firmiliar except for I only have 1 kid. I cant even imagine 4. (((HUGS)))

Wash everyones laundry but his. LOL Then maybe he'll see...
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  #7  
September 30th, 2004, 09:41 AM
oreokitten
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Quote:
Wash everyones laundry but his. LOL Then maybe he'll see...[/b]
I do that already! lol. I tell him if he wants it washed then he needs to bring it down for me to do. (He uses the master bathroom and I use the kids so I don't go into his) He won't so I don't! lol. He doesn't have a problem doing his own. He just waits until he has not a thing clean and does it.
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  #8  
September 30th, 2004, 10:01 AM
Squirtsmama
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Why do they act like we dont work boo hoo my dh works 11 hoursa a day I work 24 get a tissue for our men
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  #9  
September 30th, 2004, 01:11 PM
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oh i so know what you are going through. i have the same thing I have 2 kids in school which means I have to be up at 7 am the baby then wants a bottle . plus cleaning after 5 people, picking kids up from school doing all the shopping . We work 24-7 no days off work no breaks. I once read a man was watching his wife doing this and that around the house while taking care of the kids and he told her he was just tired from watching her and her job was REALLY hard. she said of course if it were easy a man would do it
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  #10  
September 30th, 2004, 05:59 PM
sugarcookie's Avatar Super Mommy
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hneheh i feel your pain... it took for me to get really sick a couple of times before DH woke up and smelt the coffe.. the first time I had my gallbaldder out the second time I had food posioning... So it work.. but hey I would not recomend eitehr one of thos ways.. LOL
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  #11  
September 30th, 2004, 06:33 PM
mom2one's Avatar Super Mommy
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That bites! I know how you feel. I get really overwhelmed when dd is being very demanding and work is too!

I know how you can't get a moment to pee in peace! My dd is soo needy, she whines if I go into the bathroom or follows me, she knows all about AF now at 3 years old b/c I have never been able to close the door or change my pad without her standing there, what's that mommy!!!! I hate that.....talk about having to wait until a boss says you can have a break, our kids are our boss and won't even let us pee w/o them being there!!!

I can't imagine how you do it with 4 kids!!! I would have been committed by now! I only have one and work fulltime out of the home and when they all get demanding, I get overwhelmed! My head was spinning last night as a matter of fact.

But you HAVE to tell your SO that he has to take them off your hands for a while. You make him do it whether he wants to or not or pouts even. Or you'll just resent him anyways.

I just tell dh, you two are going to have to be friends and handle it (dd only wants me and says she doesn't like her daddy). Saturday I'm going to the Harvest Festivel with friends.....and I can't wait!!!

You gotta speak up!! You can only go so long before your sleep deprivation causes an accident like cutting yourself or dropping something. I know, I've been there. I just pick a day and tell dh that he is getting up with dd no matter what and I sleep as long as it takes to feel better. I wouldn't have made it this far if I didn't. Dh ablidged, but I always have to ask or tell. He'd even offer, but if I didn't kick his butt out of bed, he'd stay there and let me get up. So don't let him, he'll get over it.

They just take prodding, even though we would like them to jump up and take action!! I guess I've learned to accept what he does do, but I don't let him take advantage though....guys can be very selfish, especially when they aren't very happy like work stress or whatever.

Well take care and take what you deserve!
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  #12  
September 30th, 2004, 06:37 PM
mom2one's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally posted by oreokitten@Sep 30 2004, 11:41 AM
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
Wash everyones laundry but his. LOL Then maybe he'll see...
I do that already! lol. I tell him if he wants it washed then he needs to bring it down for me to do. (He uses the master bathroom and I use the kids so I don't go into his) He won't so I don't! lol. He doesn't have a problem doing his own. He just waits until he has not a thing clean and does it. [/b][/quote]
That is a great idea!!! I do the same thing only to keep dh from beomg ungreatful. I make dh take care of himself. He gets himself up and dressed and out the door on his own. He makes his own lunch. I wash his clothes and buy his grocercies b/c he appreciates it. But he makes his own dr. appts and picks up his own prescritpions. Otherwise, he had me be his secretary and make all his phone calls for him and run all his errands since I get off work earlier then he does.

So if talking doesn't work, TELL him this is what is going down...On Saturday morning....

And it seems like you do that!! So keep doing it!
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  #13  
September 30th, 2004, 07:55 PM
dejasmommy143's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 535
wow same thing goes on here i havent had a nap in 2 years, and i get griped to about not having $$ well if you worked blah blah blah you know the routine.... well if i did i would have to do everything, they think we have it so easy.
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  #14  
October 18th, 2004, 06:09 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
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I am RIGHT there with you!! I am a SAHM too. I am the one up with the kids all hours of the night. I am the one who is up with them at the crack of dawn. I stay up till usually after 1 am just to spend a little time with DH, he works second shift. He is the one who gets to sleep until 10-11 every morning! He complains about being tired because he has to work. I would LOVE just for ONE lousy mornig to be able to sleep in. That is all that I am asking, just to sleep in. Who actually gets privacy when going to the bathroom?? I thought that was a family affair!! Matthew comes in there and goes behind the door to pick at the door stopper which is the spring type that makes noise each time he does it and Whitney comes in just to see what is going on. I barely have time to actually come here and post, let alone be able to read all of the different groups that we now have on here.

Trust me, I know EXACTLY what you mean!!! I will get off my box now.
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