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Dear Ex... (long vent)


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  #1  
March 14th, 2008, 02:06 PM
Xx5Xy1+'s Avatar What's your superpower?
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Wiesbaden, Germany
Posts: 1,428
Dear (Insert MANY explicatives here) Ex,

You are a real piece of stuff. First, you tell M about the children I gave up for adoption and told them that I did it because I "didn't want them anymore", and you were confused as to why M started acting out shortly afterwards and wanted to come live with me. Then you call me on a Tuesday, tell me you have decided to give me custody and ask if I can pick her up on Thursday. Talk about giving her abandonment issues. Do you have any idea who much work dh and I had to do to convince her that you still loved her? Then again you were never known for thinking about others, one small part of the reason for our divorce.

Over the course of the next year and a half, you were in and out of her life, never paid child support on time and was generally about 4 months behind. You rarely initiated phone calls and Morganne spent at least half of her visitations with her grandparents rather than with you. When you learned we were moving out of the country, you suddenly announce that you were moving to Canada... in three weeks. Rather than spending the remaining few months with your daughter, you simply vanished from her life, you stopped paying child support, NEVER contacted your daughter, and basically vanished off the face of the earth. We had to hire a private investigator to find you. Funny thing was, you weren't in Canada. After subpeona'ing your financial records, it showed that you were only out of the country aproximately three months... so where were you the other three before we left for Germany? Why didn't you contact your daughter? Or did you see her secretly when she visited her grandparents and then convince her to lie to me about it? Either way that makes you nothing more than a simpering, spineless coward!

In the year and a half since we have been in Germany, you have initiated phone conatct with M ONCE!!! Every other of the very few times she has been able to speak with you, we have had to pay for the international phone call. Even then, half the time she barely talks to you for more than 15 mins before you have somewhere else to be. Funny, for a "man" who can only afford to pay $200/month child support, you sure have a busy life. Not that you paid your child support on time for the first year anyway. It wasn't until you were served with papers telling you that we had hired an atty in NC and were suing to get child support increased (so it would at least cover her food expenses, she has celiac disease... look it up, then look up what her food costs!!!) and you hired an atty. Since then... oh, you've almost been the pillar of the poorly-done-to-father. You've paid child support on time, you sent more than just a birthday and christmas gift and you actually called her for her birthday/christmas. The one and only phone call you've made TO her since we've been here. Yet your step-mother is more than willing and able to ensure she calls M at LEAST once a month, and quite frequently, more often than that. Yet her own flesh and blood "father" can't be bothered.

However the stuff you have pulled this month takes the cake. You want to sue me for custody of M? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? You are the lowest piece of trash on earth when it comes to what a father should be. Well, let me amend that just a bit... at least you never hit her. No, you just erased her from your life for the majority of the past three years. You were too busy to bother paying your child support on time, or calling her, or anything else for that matter. Now, because she tells you less than half the story of whats going on around here, you think you're going to come in and be Super Dad? Think again! I have spent the last 15 years putting up with your manipulations that border CLOSELY to emotional abuse toward both M and myself. You want war? Well get yourself a helmet (insert explicatives here). You don't get to throw away the last three years as if they didn't happen simply because you've been paying child support on time for the past 6 months and sent her a few gifts. You may have her snowed, but not me, not my family, my dh, my attorney and I'll make sure you don't snow the judge. Instead of calling me to clarify what was going on in M's life that would cause her to say all the things you're accusing me of, you run off to your attorney and sue me for custody, KNOWING that I would ahve to pay several THOUSAND dollars in order to get M, myself and my other two children back to the states to appear in court. Think I'm not up to it? Think again! You're messing with MY daughter. The one you threw away three years ago! The one you didn't have the desire to see for the six months before we left the states (knowing it would likely be 3 years before you saw her again). You don't get to come into her life as a means to irritate and manipulate me and then treat her like you've treated her for the past 3 years. I won't allow you to do that to her or me. NEVER AGAIN!

I hope you're ready because I am about to unleash a mothers fury on you. The ex-wife is gone, now you're just facing a VERY angry mother. You think I was hard to live with before we were divorced? You haven't seen a thing. I'm about to bury you so deep your own parents wont want to speak to you again, though I have a sneaking suspicion that M is the only reason they continue to speak to you now.

Enjoy thinking you have me against the ropes while you can because you're about to see a whole new me. One you should have learned not to mess with a LONG time ago.

Sincerely,
One VERY angry mother




You ladies have no idea how badly I want to send an unedited version of this to my ex. Thankfully I'm intelligent enough not to. Even still, I needed to get it out somewhere, so thanks for reading.

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  #2  
March 14th, 2008, 02:37 PM
MrsPil's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Lots of hugs sissi :-*
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  #3  
March 15th, 2008, 09:39 AM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 10,350
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Been there, Done ALL of that! Except I moved out of the state, not the country. Want to know the happy ending? After he LOST the custody case he realized that DD doesn't mean jack to him and signed over his rights. Yeah, no more CS but she's ALL MINE! You will have a happy ending too!

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  #4  
March 15th, 2008, 02:00 PM
Xx5Xy1+'s Avatar What's your superpower?
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Wiesbaden, Germany
Posts: 1,428
That would be nice. Dh would adopt M in a heartbeat.
__________________

Thank you 3Daughters for my AWESOME siggy!


Hoping to add a new member to our family through adoption in August 2011
~*~
I am a sleep deprived, pro-life, homebirth supporting, babywearing, extended breast feeding, cloth diapering, non-vaxing, attachment parenting, conservative thinking, Constitution defending, gun owning, Torah learning, US Army Veteran who is married to her hero... A US Army Soldier! If this offends you, then stop reading my signature!
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  #5  
March 19th, 2008, 02:03 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
Would your attorney talk to his about signing over his rights? (((HUGS))) Sorry your going through this.
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  #6  
April 12th, 2008, 11:15 AM
Xx5Xy1+'s Avatar What's your superpower?
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Wiesbaden, Germany
Posts: 1,428
Not sure if the custody suit is going to go anywhere.... seems the x's atty quit.... something about nto being paid. Go figure lol
__________________

Thank you 3Daughters for my AWESOME siggy!


Hoping to add a new member to our family through adoption in August 2011
~*~
I am a sleep deprived, pro-life, homebirth supporting, babywearing, extended breast feeding, cloth diapering, non-vaxing, attachment parenting, conservative thinking, Constitution defending, gun owning, Torah learning, US Army Veteran who is married to her hero... A US Army Soldier! If this offends you, then stop reading my signature!
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  #7  
May 16th, 2008, 06:15 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Red Lion, PA
Posts: 2,110
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I went through something rather similar to this myself, he lived in another state and did all the various threats. When he finally ended up in jail in PA for unpaid fines...he realized what A SHOCK, it wasn't fair for my DD to have a slimeball who didn't/couldn't have time for her in his life. When he finally signed our divorce agreement, he also signed full custody papers relinquishing all his rights.

I never told him he couldn't see her, but she only knew him as Steve (one of mommy's friends) and he only could bother to see her at most twice a year. His Mom cares about my DD more than he ever did.
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  #8  
May 16th, 2008, 01:02 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
How are things going now???
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