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I know this may "sound" horrible, but sometimes I just say "no" to Birthday parties & events b/c of my kids, it's hard to do things w/ all of them together & my DH is always working. It's difficult for me to handle a 15 mos. old, an almost 3 year old who is SN and developmentally at a 19 mos. old level, then my 8 year old. It's overwhelming, I am tired & stressed out to the max. I end up just making excuses, being sick, or the kids are not feeling well... I know that is lying, and it's bad of me, but it's hard & if I tell them "it's too much for me"...they say "oh we'll help"... I've listened to that one before & I don't get help & end up looking like a mad woman trying to maintain the kids.
I know I shouldn't isolate my kids from events, but I just feel overwhelmed & it's too much. If my DH is around, we always go, but just on my own, no way.
Am I the only one who avoids these things b/c of the extra load of work & stress???
I'm so glad you posted this. You're definitely not the only one. I have a 2 y.o., not SN, and Milo, who still needs more care than a newborn. The 2 y.o. is still catching up on sleep since his surgery, and Milo...well, there's so much equipment and stuff. I don't want to keep explaining that Kannon is tired, and that's why he acts that way (though, he was still much better-behaved than a lot of kids, I know-most, really...not bragging, he just happens to be a very good kid-I know that I'm lucky). I don't like having to drag all of Milo's stuff out, explain why my kids, DH, and I don't have clean clothes, we don't have time to make a dish, etc. It's just too much right now. I hope that it changes, but I'm guessing that it will be this way for a while. They're both very happy kids, though, and that's what matters. They're very social, so when we DO get to go somewhere, they're great, but most of the time, I prefer to avoid those things.
We have a family reunion this weekend. We're being pressured to go because everyone wants to meet Milo and see Kannon. I just don't think that we can do it. There's so much that we'd have to pack, it's in the middle of nowhere, and I'm pretty sure that we'd miss too many treatments, feedings, etc. So, I think that we're politely declining.