Log In Sign Up

How do you do it?


Forum: Children with Special Needs

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Children with Special Needs LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 25th, 2009, 01:29 PM
Dacontay4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: WI
Posts: 2,058
I hate hospitals. My daughter had surgery on her colon on Monday, the 20th. She was supposed to be released on the 27th if everything was good. Everything was going perfect, but today they had to do another minor surgery because her stoma protruded, and now they put her on antibiotics because she's got an infection. How do I stay strong for her? I'm pregnant and emotional, I've got three older children I haven't seen since April 13 and I miss terribly, and I haven't gotten more then a few hours of sleep since we've been in the hospital. I can't stand knowing that this is the first of many, many hospital stays, surgeries, and medication changes to come. Right now my baby seems like the strong one...she's 14 months old and taking it a heck of a lot better than I am! How do you ladies do it? I'm starting to really see that SN moms have got to be some of the strongest women.
__________________
ALEX
Wifey to David. Mommy to Mady, Connor, Taylor, Grier, Chandler, Evalyn and Bryce
2 sweet angels born straight into Jesus' arms:
Mason Charles (1/3/05) and Kaydence Faith (4/30/10)

Check out my blog at
http://davealy.blogspot.com



Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 25th, 2009, 02:41 PM
Ditzzy's Avatar Stupid Lamb;)
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: OH-IO
Posts: 9,023
Send a message via Yahoo to Ditzzy
Deep breathes, hon! It's not easy on anyone, but we do what we have to because we love our children. You will get through this. ((Hugs)) The first rule is to never expect any stay in the hospital to go as planned, they never do and sleep is impossible in the hospital. You are an amazing Mommy, which shows in every word you typed. Post here as much as you can, feel free to vent, yell and rage all you need to. We'll understand.

I'm praying for your little girl and the rest of your family. Hoping you go home soon. As far as stoma issues, I have so many friends that fight this daily. They swear by aggressive silver nitrate treatments, which may help you in the future after she's recovered from surgery. She has an ostomy from the sound of it, right?

Btw....Welcome to the SN board!
__________________




Thank you, tasha_mae, for my siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 25th, 2009, 05:36 PM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Anaheim, CA
Posts: 7,096
Send a message via AIM to docsmomma
One day at a time, and when I can't manage one day i do it minute by minute and hour by hour. Also if you are at a hospital with Child Life specialists and volunteers they will often sit with your daughter so you can take a few minutes (or even a few hours) to take care of YOU. When Joey was in the hospital for 3 weeks DH brought the kids down while he was at work (yea, a 6 yr old and 3 yr old at the hospital for 5 hours before my mom picked them up) and we did "hospital adventures". I would spend the mornings when Joey was resting setting up activities for them like treasure hunts. I would draw pics of things for the kids to find on the unit for Melanie and write the words for David. Then when they showed up we'd put Joey in the wagon and off we'd go on an adventure. And we had "Radio lolipop", a hospital radio station, in the lobby. I'd take the kids down and let them do the activities and request their favorite songs.

We had parent showers and I made sure to take a shower each day so i felt "normal".

The nurses and staff at our hospital are wonderful and they didn't take away my need to be mommy. I gave the meds, I did the feeding and diaper changes, they brought me a decent bed and let me parent the same way I do at home with very little changes. I even had access to a small "kitchen" and could go in to get Joey's formula and bottles and I was allowed to change his bedding myself (even get the linens myself). Doing my normal day to day routine with him helped alot. When all else failed I'd take the kids to the playroom and just watch them be kids.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 25th, 2009, 05:38 PM
stacyp's Avatar Mommy to Andrew & Luke
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: OHIO
Posts: 17,229
((HUGS)) It's okay to be upset, you're exhausted I'm sure. But she's there getting the medical care she needs & you want to make sure she is well before you take her home. I know it's hard. Plus, being away from your other children isn't fun either. Is there any way for them to come visit & maybe go to lunch with you or something? Or can someone stay in your place for a bit so you can get a break? Breaks in this situation do help & allow you to catch your breath. We are ALWAYS here if you need to talk, vent, you name it. This is an awesome, supportive group who understand what you're going through.

Please KUP & I will keep you both in my thoughts & prayers.
__________________



Thanks Yvonne (Jaidynsmum) for my beautiful siggy!














Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 26th, 2009, 07:33 AM
Dacontay4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: WI
Posts: 2,058
Thank you ladies, I'm so glad I found this group, it seems like a great group. She has an ostomy, currently only temporary. Her infection is bad, she's got a fever today and she seems very weak. She'll probably end up with a colectomy, which we've been trying to avoid, but we knew from the start it may have to happen. With the way she is now, we highly doubt she'll be released tomorrow like she was supposed to be. The poor girl is just so sick today, when she's been so happy the last few days. She's not up for doing anything, and I've never seen her like that. Even with all she was going through before, she was still playful. She's sleeping right now, but she had such a horribly rough night.

I know that even if she has to have the colectomy, it won't cure her. I trust her doctors, they have been wonderful so far, I have very few complaints...but the colectomy scares me. Its so drastic and permanent for such a young baby. They did what they could to avoid it, but now it looks like it'll be necessary . I don't want to do it unless it's really necessary, but to take her to another doctor for another opinion will take a lot of time.

The hospital we're at is a great hospital, but it's 3 hours away from home. My husband and kids were supposed to spend the weekend here but my 5 year old son got the stomach flu, and we can't risk Grier catching it. My brother and Grier's twin are here with us (not staying in the hospital), which has been a huge blessing, being able to leave the girls with Sam and have a little break. The staff here is amazing, the parent accomodations are decent...I suppose it could be a lot worse. My older daughter (almost 3) has severe asthma, and had RSV pnemonia a few months ago, I've had a few extended hospital stays with her as well, and the hospital she was at was OK, but the accomodations here are a lot nicer.

But I'm really nervous about the fact that I'm due in 12 weeks...dh has to work, and Grier is going to have more extended hospital stays...so I really don't know what I'm going to do once she's born...keep her with me and Grier in the hospital, I suppose.

Sorry for the book lol, a lot on my chest.
__________________
ALEX
Wifey to David. Mommy to Mady, Connor, Taylor, Grier, Chandler, Evalyn and Bryce
2 sweet angels born straight into Jesus' arms:
Mason Charles (1/3/05) and Kaydence Faith (4/30/10)

Check out my blog at
http://davealy.blogspot.com



Reply With Quote
  #6  
April 26th, 2009, 09:26 AM
stacyp's Avatar Mommy to Andrew & Luke
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: OHIO
Posts: 17,229
(HHUGS)) It's hard when you're that far away. Our Children's Hospital for Luke is also that far. Hang in there!
__________________



Thanks Yvonne (Jaidynsmum) for my beautiful siggy!














Reply With Quote
  #7  
April 26th, 2009, 02:40 PM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Montana
Posts: 8,137
Send a message via AIM to iamkc
(((HUGS))) You must be exhausted. I go crazy when I can't see my 2 year-old for even a day when we're in the hospital with Milo. I feel lucky that he's usually able to stay nearby. I'm so sorry that your kids and DH are so far away! I hope that you're able to get breaks now and then!!! Is there someone to help you there a little? You're so pregnant-I wish that you could have a little rest!

How does Grier seem to be doing today? Is she fussy, or sleeping mostly? Or another option? Colectomy does seem like a huge step for a little baby! I hope that if she has to have the procedure, she recovers quickly. Are they thinking that they may do it in this hospital stay, or send you home, let her recover, then come back in? I'm so sorry that it doesn't look like she's going home tomorrow. I'm very glad, however, that you're in a place where they really seem to take good care of the patients. I hope that your stay isn't too long, though!

I'm thinking about you. (((HUGS))) Vent whenever you need to!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:55 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0