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Did you ever ask yourself this ???


Forum: Children with Special Needs

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  #1  
April 29th, 2009, 07:22 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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When Cooper was getting all his diagnoses & I was being tossed from doctor to specialists, all over the place I asked myself "why me?" and asked myself "what did I do to deserve this?" and wondered "did I do something bad that I deserved this?" that I created this outcome by maybe my eating or something I did, I don't know. I went threw blaming myself a lot for the first year of Cooper's life. I'm not like that anymore, but I had those questions a lot in the beginning. I finally realized that I was beating a dead horse asking those ?'s & in the end, it was the same outcome & to just decide to make the best of it & live, not grieve. I don't do this anymore, but I did for a while. Any one else?
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  #2  
April 29th, 2009, 07:52 AM
quietsong's Avatar Just Another Slacker Mom
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It took a few months, to be honest. At the very beginning, I was just so thankful that he was ALIVE that I didn't get into the nitty gritty of why me, why us, why him. My nephew had *just* been stillborn, and I recognized how close Danny had come to the same fate. Probably a couple weeks after Danny was born though, once I realized that we were in this for a long haul - and at the same time, in my DDC, all the babies were being born healthy and going home and everyone was telling stories and sharing pictures of what we'd been robbed of. Then I really got into a lot of wondering why we had been chosen to walk this path and weren't being allowed what SHOULD have been.
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  #3  
April 29th, 2009, 09:04 AM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yes. In the middle of the first hospitalization I kept think why me, why him? Why does he have to do this, what did I do wrong. And some of the scenarios I came up with were outrageous, liike the fact that I used to smoke. Yea, I quit before TTC Joey yet I decided that that had to have been the cause and this was my punishment. I have since gotten past that but I still have days where is seems like the world is crashing around me and I wonder why us?
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  #4  
April 29th, 2009, 09:04 AM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yes. In the middle of the first hospitalization I kept think why me, why him? Why does he have to do this, what did I do wrong. And some of the scenarios I came up with were outrageous, liike the fact that I used to smoke. Yea, I quit before TTC Joey yet I decided that that had to have been the cause and this was my punishment. I have since gotten past that but I still have days where is seems like the world is crashing around me and I wonder why us?
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  #5  
April 29th, 2009, 10:08 AM
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(((HUGS))) Yes! It wasn't so much a "Why me?" as "What did I do?" I even had a few nurses and doc ask me that. I did everything right, actually. I even told the nurse practitioners things weren't right. I felt like I was doing everything I could, all the way through, from my diet, to fluid intake, exercise, to rest, and even telling the nurses how to do their jobs! JK When I finally discovered his syndrome, I told the doc. She said no at first-it was too rare. I'd felt such relief when I found the syndrome, because I would know that I hadn't done anything wrong-and I would know that it wasn't something more serious. I liked knowing what lay ahead. But I was still left with the impression from many that I had done something horribly wrong. Then, imagine taking a 7 week-old in for a checkup to discover that he weighs an ounce less than when he went home from the hospital-at 4 lbs 11 oz!!! You bet I raised some eyebrows. Luckily, we got it straightened out, but I had a long period of wondering what I could have done differently. I also hated the thought of telling our families that something was "wrong" with him. No one wants to hear it and you end up with a lot of, "Oh, I'm sure he'll grow big and strong." I even got several, "JESSICA! You shouldn't SAY things like that!" Please.
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  #6  
April 29th, 2009, 12:08 PM
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YES! I did that when Ava was a newborn but I came to terms with it. Now, I'm feeling like that again. There is so much going on and I'm just trying to keep it together right now.

((Hugs)) This is difficult, but we were chosen to be their Moms for a reason, a great reason! We are strong enough to get through this.
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  #7  
April 29th, 2009, 02:49 PM
AlexKatieAiden Mommy's Avatar Linda
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I did that alot after Alex's diagnosis. Kept asking myself what I had done wrong that he had autism. Was it the vaccinations, was it the fact that I had placenta previa when I was pregnant, was it the fact that I did endulge on chocolate once in a while when I was pregnant, etc. Still 9 months after the diagnosis I still ask these questions just not as much. Once in a while when I am having a rough day. I guess with this diagnosis is hard because the cause is unknown.
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  #8  
April 29th, 2009, 02:50 PM
AlexKatieAiden Mommy's Avatar Linda
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I did that alot after Alex's diagnosis. Kept asking myself what I had done wrong that he had autism. Was it the vaccinations, was it the fact that I had placenta previa when I was pregnant, was it the fact that I did endulge on chocolate once in a while when I was pregnant, etc. Still 9 months after the diagnosis I still ask these questions just not as much. Once in a while when I am having a rough day. I guess with this diagnosis is hard because the cause is unknown.
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