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Any one else potty training?


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  #1  
May 24th, 2009, 11:22 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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I wrote this on the "potty training" board... I am not sure if anyone else here has gone through this yet w/ their LO or what but I am curious what the answers are. This is the post I wrote:


Hi there, I am Chantelle, not new to JM but new here. I have 4 boys, 2 are 11 & 8, and then I have a 3 year old "special needs" child & a 17 mos. old little man.

The two oldest are trained (obviously).... I've been training my 3 year old for about a couple of months now. It started w/ a fluke thing, I had no plans on it since he's developmental delay is assessed at a 19 mos. old level, so I never thought that potty training would happen right now & I wasn't going to push it. One day he saw these "pull-ups" at Target w/ Lightning McQueen on them, he screamed & begged for them, I thought "no, you don't even go on the potty"... then I brought him to this potty chair, it's sings when pee or poo hits the base, and he said that he'd go. That night, we went home, he got on the potty & surprised me by going. Since then we've been "training"...

We have a rewards system in place to make it fun. First, when he does go potty, the chair sings, he loves that. Then he flushes the toilet & washes his hands (I help)...we get a sticker (which ever he chooses) & we put it on the chart (7 x's is the norm for a day but sometimes he'll do it more or less)....after that, I give him a mini-M&M candy, he tells me the color of the M&M (learning experience here) & we do "high-five" and move on.

Okay, so you're wondering why I am here. Well... Cooper WILL GO on the potty...BUT...you have to bring him there or he will not ask you to go. So, if you don't bring him & sit him down (because of his delay), he wont go. Basically, if my husband or I aren't around (rare), Cooper will wet or soil himself. He's "pooped" on the potty 2 times now, once in March & another time shortly after that, he's weird about the poop thing, but has the peeing down pat.

What do I do? I mean, he's in pull-ups all day & doens't usually have an accident if me & DH are doing the potty training. But I don't know how to handle this w/ relative and the school that is going to be taking him in for I.E. in September, they don't do "potty training" or "rewards" like we do & I know they aren't going to bring him there & wipe his bottom, so how does this work exactly?

I never had these issues b/c the other boys didn't start school until Kindergarten, both were almost 6 by the time they entered into a school program (b/c of the date of birth)... so for us, we never had this concern, we were able to continue the potty training at home.

How else can I make sure that OTHERS do the potty training? How else can I get Cooper to ask or tell us that he has to go? There are special circumstances in that he doesn't speak well (born deaf) so communication is difficult, although I do understand him well, I am w/ him 24/7. It's the other people that have to handle him. They refuse to take him to the potty, and if Cooper says "no"... to going, which he doesn't understand what "no" means, he just says it... so my family will tell me "he didn't want to go"... so it's like "okay, you were that lazy that you couldn't just bring him to the bathroom every 30-45 min.?"

So as you can see/read, I have a lot of different things going on but I want to have a successful potty approach but w/ everyone on board. I am not negative w/ Cooper, I don't get mad w/ accidents, I learned that it's not a good thing w/ my others year's ago. I am okay w/ him being in pull-ups, he usually stays in the same one all day, and "if" I have to change one it's b/c of pooping. I know he's not ready for regular underwear, based on his knowledge. What else do I do? What am I doing wrong? Is there something else I could/should be doing?

You'd think I'd be full of advice but as I said, b/c he's special needs "AND" is going to be attending E.I. in an actual pre-school in September, the rush is there. Can I do this or no?

Need some advice. Keep in mind, Cooper is not your "A-typical" 3 year old child. He's at a 17-19 mos. old level, low-hypotonia, fine/gross motor delay, torticollis, speech problems due to being born deaf & still has hearing loss. Do I just continue based on what I am doing or could I be doing more?
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  #2  
May 26th, 2009, 03:27 PM
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Your child doesn't need to be potty trained for EI Preschool, if they're telling you anything otherwise, you need to speak with your County Co-op Coordinator. They can and should, be taking your child to the restroom at least once every day. If they don't ask, it will be at a scheduled time each day. With your permission, they will put him on the potty at that time and encourage him to go (as they do with my son). Your child might also have a one-on-one aide caring for him, depending on the severity of his needs. My child did and still does (though he now walks, he still needs assist for other things).

My son will also likely start kindergarten this fall, not potty trained. We've tried, but we're not going to resort to getting upset or punishment - anything like that. But in 2.5 years he's gone on the potty - actually in it, twice. And not because he asked to be put up there, he was set there, and it was a fluke. He had no realization that he even went.

What you explain on his low-tone/delays specifically, leads me to think there is more going on there. It could be a neurological issue (not like, OMG something huge - but a nerve thing). It could also have to do with his kidneys. In Kyle's case, he has hydronephrosis (kidney reflux), so he might have some desensitization from that. However he also has low-tone/hypotonic, issues with his nerves firing out of sync, difficultly responding to pain or outside stimulus, etc. Many kids with that range of disability also have difficultly potty training - though some moms have been able to hard stool train their children, just not urination training.

The other potty training tricks don't work for us, as my son has a g-tube. But they consist of giving salty snacks, then lots of apple juice. The salty snacks (like preztels) make them thirsty, and the apple juice makes them want to drink more to aide in having to go. Once they start going, you just make a big deal about it - show them, etc. We're getting ready to start training my 27mo in June. He's very interested in the potty (and I do let him sit on it whenever - he's just not understanding it all yet), and Kyle gets out of school then - so the timing is perfect for us.
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  #3  
May 26th, 2009, 07:57 PM
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Potty-training Kannon, non-SN. Unfortunately, some of the stress from everything with Milo has made him regress a little (or a lot!), and he wants to wear diapers all the time.

I worked at the Special Ed center for the county, and we always helped kids who were potty training. I don't think that there was EVER a question. EI is supposed to be there to help, not hinder. I'd definitely talk with someone else-there are usually aides available for your specific situation, you just have to find them!

Good luck! It's a hard road, the whole potty training thing!!!
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  #4  
May 27th, 2009, 09:32 AM
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That's the problem w/ Cooper, well.. missing puzzle if you will. He has low-tone "still", falls a lot, has seizure episodes w/ over stimulation & all sorts of issues that people don't seem to "get"... other than myself. Cooper today, we had an apt for Teighan for his eating/sensory issues, and Cooper was falling constantly, wouldn't stand, played on the floor & wouldn't lift his head for 2 hours. I can't send a child like that to pre-k for E.I. therapy alone. They will not know how to handle him, my husband doesn't understand how to handle him. I know they all mean well, but I don't see them understanding how Cooper needs enforcing & at times needs to be left alone & not to push him. Depending on the activity or how he is that day is the problem. I don't know what to do anymore.
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  #5  
May 27th, 2009, 02:30 PM
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I think they would/should be coordinating with his doctor and outside therapists. Our EI preschool does. The therapists at school correspond and communicate regularly with Kyle's Clinic therapists (who are his lead on therapy), and both communicate in written form back to Kyle's Pedi & Neuro for their follow-up.

Personally, I feel Kyle has had phenominal attention at Preschool. The program is specifically designed for EI/SN children, and meant to help integrate them in to a traditional classroom setting, while still providing them with the various therapies and special attention needed in the class. If he's low-tone, he's likely going to be assigned a one-on-one aide as well.

As for the falling, that could be seizure related - especially holding his head down afterwards. We learned a bit more about that recently, in part because Kyle regressed and two - blacked out after some major seizures. It's something called a postical response. Essentially their system is short circuited and needs to find a way to reboot. Depending on the severity - some kids just go to sleep for hours, others regress. Regression can have lasting impacts - meaning they might lose the muscular or nerve based 'knowledge' of how to do a particular skill, or lose the reinforcement that allowed them to. Thus leading to inconsistent motor behaviors, frequent falling, etc.

Personally, I'd make a call to see the neuro again to get some official letter to help in your communication with the school, if they're not planning on providing an aide. I will tell you though - Kyle received his school 0-3 eval in July (pre-ceeding the start of school when he was 2.5yo), we met with the school staff in November, and after his birthday (end of december) he started school. We were told in November that he would have a one-on-one aide to assist at school. She helps with writing skills, maneuvering, positioning, bathroom, etc.

And if I'm being honest - potty training is the least of my concerns. I know Kyle isn't ready - though we work with him on it. I also make sure to never, ever make him feel defeated over it. I praise him just for being able to climb up on to the potty himself, and when he helps pull up his pants (which he still can't do completely independent of me). All things in time, and boys tend to learn in stages - one step at a time, not multiple areas at once. So they may show huge signs of progression in one thing - and seem to be completely oblivious in another. But then when they're comfortable with one major skill - they immediately jump on to the next. It's like spurts.
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  #6  
June 1st, 2009, 12:56 PM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kittycat View Post
The program is specifically designed for EI/SN children, and meant to help integrate them in to a traditional classroom setting, while still providing them with the various therapies and special attention needed in the class. If he's low-tone, he's likely going to be assigned a one-on-one aide as well.

Personally, I'd make a call to see the neuro again to get some official letter to help in your communication with the school, if they're not planning on providing an aide. I will tell you though - Kyle received his school 0-3 eval in July (pre-ceeding the start of school when he was 2.5yo), we met with the school staff in November, and after his birthday (end of december) he started school. We were told in November that he would have a one-on-one aide to assist at school. She helps with writing skills, maneuvering, positioning, bathroom, etc.

And if I'm being honest - potty training is the least of my concerns. I know Kyle isn't ready - though we work with him on it. I also make sure to never, ever make him feel defeated over it. I praise him just for being able to climb up on to the potty himself, and when he helps pull up his pants (which he still can't do completely independent of me). All things in time, and boys tend to learn in stages - one step at a time, not multiple areas at once. So they may show huge signs of progression in one thing - and seem to be completely oblivious in another. But then when they're comfortable with one major skill - they immediately jump on to the next. It's like spurts.
We have a neuro apt in Sept., that's the soonest we have for a new intake. This is a new Neuro b/c the other one needed to be fired. She did nothing for my son & looking back she wasted years of energy. I am praying to get in sooner rather than later.

I wish I had a specialist that would work w/ Cooper one on one b/c I'd feel so much better.

True, I am not "as" worried about the whole potty thing as I would normally be w/ my other child(ren)... the thing w/ Cooper is that he's excited to do it & that's huge for him. I am proud that he's even walking at all. This is a child that was born deaf, has torticollis & low-hypotonia & unexplained seizures. This is a child that was told to me that he'd never walk or talk. So I am THRILLED that he's accomplished this much b/c it's so much more than I expected. I guess w/ a milestone that he's trying to accomplish & he's also proud of his accomplishment, makes me want to keep it up. I hate to stop something that he's doing so well in, KWIM?

I'll be honest, I had NO plans of potty training it was a complete surprise, but one that I am willing to work w/ since it's a major deal. I have a girl friend who has a child the same age as Cooper, she is Cooper's God Mother actually, any who...she hasn't tried or wanted to train her DS to go on the toilet & said she can't be bothered. IMO, b/c Cooper has all the problems that he has, for him to be able to go on the potty is wonderful. The only problem w/ Cooper is that he will not tell you that he has to go, he has to be brought to the potty. He can't pull his pants on or off, he can't wash his own hands, he needs assistance w/ all of it. And that's where I have the issue. I mean, for me & DH, he goes & there are no worries, but for others (family, friends, school personnel) it's not going to be like that. I don't know. Maybe I am taking on too much for him. I am trying to be positive & keep him excited.
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