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Bad mom moment


Forum: Children with Special Needs

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  #1  
May 28th, 2009, 04:20 PM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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And I mean BAAAAD! I'm already tearing up writing this...jeeeez. Milo's growth hormone ran out last night, which means having to change the cartridge. I did it, clicked the pen twice to get the right dose (and I always check the screen to make sure that I got the right amount-check), then injected him. I noticed that it was taking MUCH longer-the pen usually clicks immediately. I have NO idea how much extra I gave him. It was 1130 PM, though. I called the nurse on call, she told me to call Poison Control. I called them, they went back and forth, then told me to go to the ER so that Milo could be monitored, or to call the nurse back. It had taken forever to get through to these people, and to get through the calls themselves. By this point, it's 130 AM. I called the nurse back (who never returned my call, by the way!), and I tried calling the endocrinology nurse. No one ever answered there. (I totally forgot about calling the hospital, which seems really stupid now.) I researched every little thing while I was waiting for these calls to find that a one-time overdose usually means hypoglycemia followed by hyperglycemia.

Soooo...assessing the whole situation-Milo's cough, that he gets something worse every time we take him in, that I have all the exact same equipment here, but can give him closer, more frequent attention than the ER can...well, I decided that I'd be up all night checking his blood sugar, making sure that his vitals remained stable, etc. I didn't take him in. And oddly, his blood sugar was better last night than usual!!!

I DID tell on myself at the doctor visit. She told me to call the hospital if I can't get through to endo, but didn't really scold me. She may have just been trying not to seem judgmental because she can't change anything. Ugh. I hope that she doesn't think that I'm terribly irresponsible. Really, they would have done THE EXACT SAME THING, only less frequently. I've sat in the ER now countless times, sent by the docs, watching them not even do as much as what I could be doing at home.

So that's my confession. I feel terrible about it, but the time, the hassle, exposure, and inevitable send-home without having done anything other than monitor (AND he wouldn't have been on his pump feed) just didn't seem worth it. I can honestly say that I'd make the same decision again. Still...ugh.
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  #2  
May 28th, 2009, 05:03 PM
Ditzzy's Avatar Stupid Lamb;)
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First of all, deep breathes!! We all make mistakes or mess up from time to time. We're human. How could we not mess up occasionally when we have so much on our shoulders? I certainly would never blame you for something like this. ((Hugs)) We've all done it, hon!
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  #3  
May 28th, 2009, 07:42 PM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you. I just feel like an idiot. A few other GH parents have told me that their pens have done the same thing (which is a little worrisome) after no trouble, even in the middle of a cartridge's life. I'm just glad that I count as I'm doing it, or who knows how much more I would have put in?! I also don't want the doc to think that I'm neglecting Milo by not having him assessed in the ER. No, I'm not a medical professional, and no, I don't know everything about medicine-I know that. But I know the protocol for most of Milo's situations, and I *DO* believe that I handled this as well as they would have. I even have an emergency pen for possible severe hypoglycemia-without having to get it from the cabinets behind locked and coded doors. It's right next to him, all the time.

Sorry. I shouldn't go on and on with justification. I guess that I just feel so nervous and guilty! I don't particularly care for either of those feelings!
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  #4  
May 29th, 2009, 06:33 AM
stacyp's Avatar Mommy to Andrew & Luke
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((HUGS)) Jess. Hope's right.
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  #5  
May 29th, 2009, 10:57 AM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You are right that you did the same thing they would have done except more frequently , I would have done the same thing. Heck, even though I'm *supposed* to take Joey in the moment he gets any fever, I usually wait 1-2 hours to see if it goes awayb on its own, has saved me many needless hospital admissions because the poor guy is JUST TEETHING!
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  #6  
May 29th, 2009, 01:13 PM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks again, ladies. I've had a rough few days (today just got worse!), and you've made me feel better about this. Of course, DH has been great about it, too. He trusts me. I trust me. And Milo and Kannon still trust me. LOL

And YES! to the fevers-same thing! We're supposed to bring Milo in, even if it's not an official fever...I think that I would have lost my mind by now if I'd done that every time! And how about the look you'd get taking him in for a fever for teething. "Uh, lady, you're wasting our time here-he's getting teeth!" Duh. But you said...hehe. No, we wait, too. I think that it's fine.

Thank you again. I was just feeling so badly about it. I felt like I'm the only mom who WOULDN'T have taken her child in for that.
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  #7  
May 29th, 2009, 09:21 PM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You know, my mom no longer takes my sister in for 1/2 the things a "typical" parent would. I mean shortness of breath, extreme levels of pain, chest pain, etc...

We know that our children don't fall into that "typical emergency" We also don't fall into the "typical parent". We have more medical knowledge than many people and can handle more at home than most parents can. Heck, helf the time we research things enough that we can find stuff that the doctors don't know. So when we make these decisions its based on the knowledge we have both of our children, of their SN's and of our experience.

We've had 2 teething fever admissions already. 3 days inpatient because of cutting teeth...
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