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Today were Joey's scans. And today they brought me to a breaking point. We left home at 6:45, with my dad babysitting the older kids and me and DJ bringing Joey. He wasn't allowed anything by mouth since 5 AM (and he woke at 5:12 wanting his bottle).. We get there and I know he needs oral contrast, but I figured it would be like before, a small bottle 2-4 oz and that was it, which we barely get him to take. NOPE. 6-10 oz oral contrast. I also figured that they would do the IV contrast through his port like we have in the past. NOPE, they had to do an IV. Joey is not an easy stick. Last time he got an IV it took 10 pokes and 4 nurses to get one, one of the nurses being NICU and one being PICU. Thank GOD this time it only took one excellent ER nurse and 2 pokes. Granted, I know we are fortunate to have the port and avoid IV lines most of the time, but to me it is upsetting to do an IV line because I can't numb him in 20 places each time and hope that one of those sites works. I can numb the port site.
Through the past 11 months I have held him for every needle stick, every scan, every test. Today i couldn't do it. I just could not handle it today, DJ did. DJ held him for the IV that took 30 minutes, DJ calmed him and comforted him during scans. I couldn't do it. I broke. I cried, I yelled (about the port), and I was angry.
I did though get to watch each image come up on the screen and I am even more confident that the report will be amazing.
You've been through so much, Traci. I think that many of us would have had a breaking point long before now. You're incredibly strong, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with letting David take Joey when you just need the break. It looks like the scans came back at least much better than before, which is wonderful! You got him this far, and you'll be with him as he continues to get better.