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We want a boy and the only way it looks like we're going to get one is to adopt. DH and I have discussed it andare both on board whenboth girls are in school. Now there are a lot of circumstance that I know I wouldn't be able to handle, but there are many thatI feel I could and I'd rather give the helping hand to a child whomay not otherwise get one.
"Disability is not a brave struggle or ‘courage in the face of adversity.’ Disability is an art. It’s an ingenious way to live."
Leaving aside the fact that I desperately want another, but DH says we're done, I would in a second. I'm not stupid-we all know how much work this is, how scary it is, how draining it can be. I also know how much joy there is in these kids that some people can't see because they don't look past the disability. I know how to make a new normal that includes everyone. I know how to advocate without bullying. This has come up several times for us. Every time we go to Children's, one of the nurses talks about all the kids with special needs who live there-no parents, no family. They simply have nowhere to go. Some kids aren't even as "bad off" as Milo-their parents couldn't or wouldn't care for them. It kills me. I'm crying while I write this because I want to go hold each one of those kids, tell them that they're loved, but not have that be the end of it, either. It's shocking how many of those kids would be in better shape if they had someone advocating for them. Not that the nurses aren't doing a wonderful job, but because there's no one checking for those little things that parents notice, some of the problems just get worse. Some of these kids are going to grow out of their conditions, into healthy adults, but never having had any parental love. KILLS ME.
Sorry to go on. I think that I have a problem-between wanting another kid and knowing that all of these kids are without anyone to care for them...I just can't figure out what to do about it.
I don't romanticize having a special needs kid. There are SO many challenges that are SO overwhelming sometimes...but that's nothing compared to watching a real personality emerge, feeling a bond grow stronger, etc. You know, all that parent-y stuff. LOL