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How do you think it's changed you? or do you feel the same?


Forum: Children with Special Needs

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  #1  
December 29th, 2009, 12:21 PM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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As a parent w/ a child who has SN's, do you feel that it's changed you in any way? Are you more patient w/ people? Are you humbled? Are you angry? What do you feel that this has done to you as a person/friend/wife/relative if at all?

~For me, it's changed how I view what's important to me. I also became an angrier person in the beginning, I was scared & instead of acting scared, I acted mad (on the inside) & proactive (on the outside). I also feel that it's enabled me to be happier w/ the little things. And cherish the small milestones that my child(ren) accomplish rather than be all happy w/ a big award, not that I don't care about the big honors but it's the small stuff that matters for me.
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  #2  
January 5th, 2010, 09:58 AM
C&K'sMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think it's changed me significantly. As a person I'm happier. It's easier for me to be grateful for things I would have overlooked before (not just in DD's case, but everywhere), but it's made me less tolorant of others. It's redundant and annoying to repeat Carrie's story to everyone who asks, and since she doesn't have a diagnosis, it's not a short one. It's always one of 3 responses, and 2 of them just make me mad. (the two that do are pity and "she'll be fine").

I'm more in control and organized. Before Carrie I would have never questioned a doctor or been proactive enough to MAKE theing happen, but at this point I'm a pro. So I really think it's made me a much stronger and more confident person in general.

I'm not angry and haven't been (except when they were ignoring me and I was telling them something was wrong)... I am more cautious and scared (depending on the day). My mind is always in the future which leavesme with a constant feeling of guilt, but I guess it comes with the territory.
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  #3  
January 5th, 2010, 10:04 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jonnies_goodgirl View Post
I think it's changed me significantly. As a person I'm happier. It's easier for me to be grateful for things I would have overlooked before (not just in DD's case, but everywhere), but it's made me less tolorant of others. It's redundant and annoying to repeat Carrie's story to everyone who asks, and since she doesn't have a diagnosis, it's not a short one. It's always one of 3 responses, and 2 of them just make me mad. (the two that do are pity and "she'll be fine").

I'm more in control and organized. Before Carrie I would have never questioned a doctor or been proactive enough to MAKE theing happen, but at this point I'm a pro. So I really think it's made me a much stronger and more confident person in general.

I'm not angry and haven't been (except when they were ignoring me and I was telling them something was wrong)... I am more cautious and scared (depending on the day). My mind is always in the future which leavesme with a constant feeling of guilt, but I guess it comes with the territory.
Well you sound like me. I get frustrated as my DS advocate when people seem to not listen or get the details. I do hate repeating myself & I do find that people can be so darn stupid/ignorant about things. To me, if you haven't walked in our shoes, you/they shouldn't be giving out information on what we should or should not be doing. I hate that. Especially when they think they know what's best when they haven't spent even a fraction of the time I've spent w/ my kids.

Aside from that, as you said, you are more cautious, as am I b/c of the past experience, you just never know.

I'm trying to put things into a different light for me this year/2010, in that I will not force my child to do something he's uncomfortably w/ & allow him to sort of tell me if he's ready or not. No more assuming that this is best b/c of what a stranger, who is educated/qualified said, b/c they are not him & they don't know my DS as well as I do. I'm more in tuned to listen as he is able to talk & tell me how he feels. I like that, before I had to go w/ the flow b/c he had no voice & I thought I had to do it all.
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  #4  
January 5th, 2010, 01:49 PM
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Honestly, it's changed me for the worse as much as it's changed me for the better. I am more grateful, absolutely, and more appreciative of the miracles in my life. It's also strengthened my relationship with God, and it's made me a more proactive, confident person both with my children's health and in other areas of my life. At the same time, I am an angrier and more fearful person than I used to be, and I wish for the innocence I had before everything started up with Danny. It's also given me back the mood swings that I had thought I'd grown out of.
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  #5  
January 8th, 2010, 07:45 AM
bizziebeemommy's Avatar Veteran
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All of you said how I feel.... I guess its a common bond between mother's of children w/ special needs. I have good and bad day's .. mostly good, but when he is having one of his bad days, it makes me feel down, angry.. frustrated w/ the whole situation. I try and try to tell myself that I can handle it, or he would not have been given to me.. but it is still hard. Sometimes I think I am going nuts.. but then other days, everything seems like it will okay. I think what I have a hard time grasping, is that I wont have the same 'normal' memories that a mother has w/ her baby/toddler. When I think about my first son doing everything typically, it makes me sad that we dont experience those things w/ my youngest son. Anyway.. sorry.... I am not answering the question.... It has changed me as a person.... and I think as he grows, and changes, I will grow and change as well. And really, I guess that goes for both of my sons'.
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