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Cooper was diagnosed w/ a mild case of tourettes syndrome not too long ago. He doesn't' do it a lot, it's a face tick, and he'll squint his eyes & jerk his shoulders like a shoulder shrug. He started doing it the past 2 days more often than before. I hate seeing him this way. I notice it b/c I see him all day, and I feel bad for him. I wonder if he wonders what's going on, like if he truly knows that he has a lot of medical problems or if he just doesn't know any better.
WDYT? Do you think your kids are aware or do you think this is all that they know?
I wonder this sometimes about Danny, how his hearing stops when he trips and falls, that sort of thing...but honestly, I think they don't know any better. This is norm to them, and they have no idea - at least at a young age - that they've got all these extra issues. Now, I'm sure as they grow up they'll start to notice how they're different, but that's a few years off, at least for me.
I mean what is so sad for me is how Cooper will actually get excited to go to a doctor's appointment, he doesn't mind the nurses, needles, blood or any tests he has to have. He's such a trooper. I wonder if it's b/c he has been having "procedures" and medical staff picking at him since he was 1 month old or if this is just his personality. He doesn't like everyone. He HATES the PT/OT & speech therapists at the school, he doesn't engage w/ them & doesn't hug them, unlike at the hospitals & it's not like we see the same nurses or assistants all the time, although, it;s the same environment, hospitals, rooms. I guess it's the norm. I feel badly that he's in the norm about this stuff.
I just feel like this is when I want to ask a higher power (you know what I mean, and I'm not super religious either), but "why him?" I am already older, I have more handicaps than I can speak in one phrase, I am in no need of a great body anymore. He's only 4, why him? Why not me? I can handle it all, KWIM? I hate this, watching him go through more than he should for a normal 4 year old healthy child. Makes me second guess my "faith" in certain aspects at times.
Not to be all spiritual, again, I don't want this to become anything HT, but you know what I mean.
I get exactly what you mean and have wondered the same things. When Danny was only a couple months old, we still had to do twice a week blood draws, and the poor thing is 3 and 4 months old and not even crying at it because it was so normal to him.
At the same time, as much as I wish I could take these burdens from him, I am thankful that he has them now - because kids are so much more resilient, able to put this stuff aside, and will never remember much of it, you know? As much as I've questioned my faith, I look at how everything has played out, and in retrospect can see a lot of "coincidences" that have gotten him where he is today. I may not understand why, but I try to keep in perspective that we CAN do this, and that we ARE gaining something from it: perspective, patience, and a greater appreciation.