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Really Frustrated! (update post 11)


Forum: VBAC: Vaginal Birth After a Caesarean

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  #1  
August 10th, 2010, 03:31 PM
Angel.Eyes4351's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So I have a friend/acquaintance IRL who is pregnant with her first, due Friday. She's been at 1cm for a couple of weeks now.... and she just FB imed me to tell me that her doctor "isn't happy with her progress" and wants her to schedule a c-section! WHAT?! Said that they didn't want to let her go over her DD b/c the baby will keep growing... and that he COULD induce, but felt that it was probable that it would end in a c-section anyhow. Said they thought the baby's head sitting crooked (or something???) was the reason she wasn't progressing.

SHE ISN'T IN LABOR! I'm no expert, but not all women dilate before labor starts... especially first timers. This man told her that if she were his wife or sister he'd tell her the same thing... Well I feel sorry for the women in his life!

I don't freakin understand! I was trying to not freak out, and tell her gently how ridiculous this was, but it seemed she was resigned to it.... she did tell me she cried and was disappointed that she wouldn't go through the water breaking, rushing to the hospital sort of thing... but she was ok with it now. I think she's missing the point...

I've had a c-section, I know what she's about to go through, and I feel sorry for her.... but I'm also frustrated with her for not asking more questions, and being more informed... Ugh... but what can ya do?!

This post isn't meant to bash anyone... (except her doctor) Just thought I'd share...
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Last edited by Angel.Eyes4351; August 22nd, 2010 at 01:54 PM.
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  #2  
August 10th, 2010, 08:32 PM
Jaci's Avatar I AM a Doula :)
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That is so sad but the pessimist sarcastic side of me thought "I guess they are finally just resigning to the fact that inductions end in c-sections, rather than give any hope."

I wish she'd listen to reason. I can't ****** understand how an OB can practice like that and ****** get away with it. I'd better stop now because I'm PO'd.
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  #3  
August 10th, 2010, 09:06 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Seriously? What a quack!!!!
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  #4  
August 10th, 2010, 09:23 PM
The Purple Butterfly's Avatar Stacey
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WOW!!! No wonder the c/s rates are so high. Suddenly 1st time moms can't go past 40w?! Direct her to the ICAN website.... they have a lot of info on there about avoiding the first cut. Gosh I wish someone was there to help me the first time.
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  #5  
August 11th, 2010, 09:29 PM
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Oh man, that woman is being blindsided and has no idea. She's not going to be happy when she looks back and is knows the facts. Well, assuming she'll try for a VBAC next time and learn the facts...

That must be so frustrating for you to listen to. Is she open to ANY information at this point? I'd really want to try to get her to learn something.
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  #6  
August 12th, 2010, 06:41 AM
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That's really stupid! (The doctor) I can understand your friend because when I was a 1st time mom I probably would have easily gone with it too simply because I didn't know any better. I had the whole "well... the doctor knows best" attitude. I get frustrated at how knife happy a lot of doctors are. Scheduling a c-section for a 1st timer before the due date for no reason??
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  #7  
August 14th, 2010, 08:48 AM
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You know, i was just arguing with a woman on another board who was claiming that doctors are caring compassionate individuals who really have their patients best interests at heart (her dh is an MD). I told her that my doctor lied to me while I was IN labor in order to manipulate me into a cesarean. Her response was that you need to choose your doctor carefully and ask questions and switch if you aren't comfortable. Well, I spoke to MANY patients of this particular practice. I spoke with L&D nurses at the hospital that used this practice. No one ever suggested that this doctor might change his tune late in the game! What the heck are women supposed to do??? You try to be sympathetic because doctors are paying crazy high malpractice premiums but then they pull this crap on a woman who hasn't even hit 40 weeks!!! How is woman who is that far along supposed to fight? She has built a relationship with this guy for 9 months. How do you recognize a liar and manipulator?
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  #8  
August 15th, 2010, 02:08 PM
flitabout's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That makes me want to cry. Definitely send her to ICAN! I really wish I could switch places with her. So I could go and slap that dr after I fired him.
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  #9  
August 18th, 2010, 11:12 PM
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Holy cow! I was 1cm up until the day before I went into labor (which was 4 days past my DD) and even then when I showed up at the hospital I was only 2cm!!!! I can't believe a doctor would be so stupid and just schedule her a c-section instead of letting her go past her DD. ARGH!

A girl I know who just had her first baby was told at her 39 week appt that her baby was "too big" and they thought it best to just schedule her for a c-section. She agreed and ended up having a 7lb baby. So "big", huh? It's absurd what some people agree to - under pressure or due to ignorance.
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  #10  
August 20th, 2010, 06:17 PM
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Wow. That seems really early to me for the doc to be even DISCUSSING a c-section. If she's had a healthy pregnancy, I don't think there's a reason to do a section. If I were your friend, I'd talk to the doc...and insist on induction rather than schedule a section. And if in the end, they HAVE to do the section, at least she got to try for a natural birth. KWIM?

Let us know how things turn out for her.
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  #11  
August 22nd, 2010, 01:53 PM
Angel.Eyes4351's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gray_baby View Post
Holy cow! I was 1cm up until the day before I went into labor (which was 4 days past my DD) and even then when I showed up at the hospital I was only 2cm!!!! I can't believe a doctor would be so stupid and just schedule her a c-section instead of letting her go past her DD. ARGH!

A girl I know who just had her first baby was told at her 39 week appt that her baby was "too big" and they thought it best to just schedule her for a c-section. She agreed and ended up having a 7lb baby. So "big", huh? It's absurd what some people agree to - under pressure or due to ignorance.
Yeah... that was the reason he didn't want her to wait past her due date.... the baby ended up weighing 6lbs 10oz....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seanaci View Post
Wow. That seems really early to me for the doc to be even DISCUSSING a c-section. If she's had a healthy pregnancy, I don't think there's a reason to do a section. If I were your friend, I'd talk to the doc...and insist on induction rather than schedule a section. And if in the end, they HAVE to do the section, at least she got to try for a natural birth. KWIM?

Let us know how things turn out for her.
She went ahead with the c/s... My hubby and I went to visit her later that evening, and the baby was fine. She was in obvious pain... I felt bad for her. The doctor gave her some story about how the baby was so high, he still had a tough time getting him out even with the c/s... She told me this, I guess to argue that the doctor was right all along, but in my head I just thought... he wasn't READY yet... But anyway... I think she will look back and regret her decision to trust blindly... I hope so, anyway.
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  #12  
August 22nd, 2010, 10:33 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I totally don't get the concept of doing a c-section for a big baby. What the heck does it matter? Why do it early if you are not going to have a TOL anyway. Do it at 40 weeks since you don't need to worry about dystocia.

I seriously believe she should sue him. It was malpractice to do that to her, and the very least it was negligent. With the right lawyer she could make that man miserable. He did surgery for no good reason, that is not in the best interest of the patient AT ALL!!!!
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  #13  
August 23rd, 2010, 04:57 AM
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I get you on the lawsuit. However, she is CONVINCED that the doctor "saved" her baby's life. And if she didn't do it now, it would probably be too late to do it once she realize what actually happened.
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  #14  
August 23rd, 2010, 08:15 AM
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If I knew her, I would probably blurt out something like, "Wow, he did surgery on you for no REASON, I would sue that *******." It might end our relationship, but I sure would feel better.

Until women start suing for these types of surgical births, they won't stop.
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  #15  
August 23rd, 2010, 11:44 AM
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The problem I foresee with trying to sue the doctor is a) she signed something agreeing to the surgery and b) the baby is fine, no one was injured (though we would all argue that she was by having a c-section). It would just be hard to prove this case and my guess is it would get thrown out before it went to trial. Sad.

I remember vaguely reading about a case where a woman sued for having an unnecessary c-section but in her case she had pretty serious complications afterwards. And I think she won at trial, but like I said her case involved serious complications.
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  #16  
August 23rd, 2010, 05:52 PM
Jaci's Avatar I AM a Doula :)
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All doctors will say something in the end if they ended up being wrong for the reason for the c/s. Obviously her baby was not big so yeah, to justify it and make the mom feel that the c/s was justified he will say that he was up too high. Dur, babies do start out up high, it is the contractions that bring them down!
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  #17  
August 23rd, 2010, 06:33 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gray_baby View Post
The problem I foresee with trying to sue the doctor is a) she signed something agreeing to the surgery and b) the baby is fine, no one was injured (though we would all argue that she was by having a c-section). It would just be hard to prove this case and my guess is it would get thrown out before it went to trial. Sad.

I remember vaguely reading about a case where a woman sued for having an unnecessary c-section but in her case she had pretty serious complications afterwards. And I think she won at trial, but like I said her case involved serious complications.
It doesn't matter if you win or not. IF it happens enough it will make a difference. BEcause even if a things don't go to trial, often the docs insurance increases just because of the investigation by the medical board. The mother was damaged. She had un-necessary surgery. If you were told you had cancer in your lung, and the doc went in and removed part of your lung and he was wrong, there was no cancer, you wold be able to sue.

I normally don't believe in suing, but seriously, something has to be done to put these doctors in their place!
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  #18  
August 26th, 2010, 10:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NutMeg76 View Post
It doesn't matter if you win or not. IF it happens enough it will make a difference. BEcause even if a things don't go to trial, often the docs insurance increases just because of the investigation by the medical board. The mother was damaged. She had un-necessary surgery. If you were told you had cancer in your lung, and the doc went in and removed part of your lung and he was wrong, there was no cancer, you wold be able to sue.

I normally don't believe in suing, but seriously, something has to be done to put these doctors in their place!
True. However, no legal precedent will be set by a lawsuit that's thrown out before it goes to trial. I definitely agree a mother was damaged but to be a successful lawsuit you have to show "legal damages" which are different than just having a surgery you agreed to (even if you agreed based on a reason that wasn't entirely the real reason). Having part of your lung removed unnecessarily will be viewed differently than having a healthy baby after a c-section, sadly, that's the state of our court system - they do not view a healthy, alive baby as "damages" even though the mother was cut open and now bears a scar.

And sadly very few attorneys are willing to take on cases that they believe will be thrown out. They can even get cited for filing frivolous lawsuits. And by "frivolous" I mean in the legal sense, not that I think women are frivolous for wanting to sue.
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