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Pregnant with baby #2 but kind of freaked out.. (Long)


Forum: VBAC: Vaginal Birth After a Caesarean

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  • 1 Post By lhug_nar
  • 1 Post By Celry

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  #1  
June 2nd, 2013, 10:28 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Im mom to an 18 month old and an angel baby. Just got my positive late last night but I really don't feel ready for many reasons, among those reasons is what I went through in the hospital with DD.

I had a total of 43 hours of labor and 3 hours of unproductive pushing. I had panic attacks throughout the csection thanks to a childhood medical problem I had that required some serious stuff as a toddler. It didnt help things that while I was being opened up, I kept feeling these Hotwire type zapping sensations. If anyone here hasn't had experience with Hotwire, which is basically a low voltage electric fence for animals, think static shock, but way more noticeable. That couldn't have been normal. I was dazed while being stitched up and rolled off to this triage area where I had to wait close to 2 hours to see her again and hold her for the first time.

I will say though, my recovery was much easier than I guessed. I didnt need anything more than a couple Motrin following dosing instructions. It didnt fully take away the pain, but at least I could move and didnt even need that anymore 8 days post op. I am truly thankful for that.

Part of me wants to schedule the csection and just be done with it because without the labor my recovery would probably be relatively easy, but I also know I would regret it if I didnt try and surgery comes with additional risks. My OB is fine with vbacs and agrees I should try again. DH is also supportive, so I have the two most important people I need on my side, but most of my family is against it, including my parents and his parents so I don't even bring it up anymore with them.

Anyways, yeah.. I'm kinda freaked out. When I actually thought of the idea of another csection, I would immediately start getting kinda scared but now that I'm pregnant, I have some big decisions coming up.
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  #2  
June 3rd, 2013, 10:46 AM
lhug_nar's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Welcome to the VBAC board! I'm Tiff, mom to 3 boys - a preemie born naturally, a c-section, a VBAC and now expecting another VBAC baby here in the next month.

Sounds like you have a good support team with your DH and Doc. I can honestly say that my parents and my ILs weren't supportive of my VBAC 3 years ago and I completely avoided the subject with them because of it. That's not a stress that you need right now. You have time to weigh your options with your DH and Doc. Congratulations on expecting #2!

Please feel free to post your concerns, worries, and anything else you would like. We're here to support you!
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  #3  
June 3rd, 2013, 07:31 PM
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Yeah I do have a good support team, but people keep trying to talk Anthony into getting me to schedule an rcs because "they don't want to see me go through that again". I'm just getting tired of justifying it to them. None of them feel any sort of remorse of their csections and they just expect me to get over it. I don't want my child's birth to be a scary event for me. I can't fully put my csection fears behind me until after I've had my last baby and I just don't want that hovering over me and kinda dreading the due date. I'm nervous even now thinking about it.
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  #4  
June 3rd, 2013, 07:52 PM
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I can totally relate where you're coming from. The thought of having a c-section with my VBAC baby gave me panic attacks -heck, it still gives me panic attacks. My best advice for Anthony is to have statistics ready to go... Like the risk of uterine rupture with the bikini cut c-section is less than 0.04% and really stress that labor is good for baby and mom. My hubby had to put his foot down with my ILs and tell them to shove it. He told them either they had something supportive to say or they didn't get to say anything at all. HUGS to you and your hubby!
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  #5  
June 3rd, 2013, 08:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lhug_nar View Post
I can totally relate where you're coming from. The thought of having a c-section with my VBAC baby gave me panic attacks -heck, it still gives me panic attacks. My best advice for Anthony is to have statistics ready to go... Like the risk of uterine rupture with the bikini cut c-section is less than 0.04% and really stress that labor is good for baby and mom. My hubby had to put his foot down with my ILs and tell them to shove it. He told them either they had something supportive to say or they didn't get to say anything at all. HUGS to you and your hubby!
Thank you so much! You have no idea what it means to me to actually have someone say they get it. It just gets very old always hearing "Oh get over it. You have a healthy baby, that's all that matters." I miscarried and I'm so grateful to have Lily, even if she didn't arrive the way I wanted her to. I am still terrified of surgery. Before I got pregnant I cried even thinking about another csection, so you can imagine the kind of panic attack I had when I saw that positive late Saturday night.

It's kind of hard telling my ILs to shove it when they live right in town, literally 5 minutes away from us. My parents live 3 hours away so I don't need to deal with as much from them. We are so dependent on our ILs for watching Lily so we can have a once in a blue moon no baby date night. I don't feel like I can tell them to shove off. My MIL means well, but she is so, so bossy and very opinionated. Just because she and my mom never felt any remorse towards their csections doesn't mean no one else does. It is possible to love the baby you get out of the process but still be terrified of what it takes to get the baby here. I'm just so sick of hearing the 'suck it up' lecture.
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  #6  
June 4th, 2013, 05:39 AM
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You don't have to tell her to shove off, but you can just not discuss it with her. My MIL had two csections. I had one with my twins and decided to do a drug free VBAC with my third. It was an amazing experience. My MIL said a couple things during my pregnancy and I just ignored them. I did tell her that for most people a VBAC is safer than a RCS. Trust your body, your Dr. and your gut. Do what you think is right. I went to three different practices during my VBAC pregnancy to make sure I had the right care for baby and me that would also give me the best chance at a drug free VBAC. I have a friend who just had baby #2 via VBAC and he was 10 lbs. Her first baby was born via csection because her Dr said she wasn't progressing, but she was, just not fast enough for him. She also switched practices multiple times. Good luck! I hope you get to VBAC if that's what you want.
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  #7  
June 5th, 2013, 10:38 AM
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I'm not going to bring it up with her or my other unsupportive family members. My great aunt (mom's grandma's sister) is one of those people who had easy births and even her daughters did, too, like most of the other women in my family. When she was visiting my grandma last time we were down there, she told me to "grow up" and something along the lines of "birth doesn't matter. All that matters is having a healthy baby" and my mom was agreeing with her. Whether I bring it up or not, they're both going to be asking me for the date of the scheduled csection especially at the end. I'll deal with one confrontation at a time and avoid what I can by not bringing it up.
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