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Why can't I labor??


Forum: VBAC: Vaginal Birth After a Caesarean

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  #1  
December 15th, 2007, 08:00 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have a question. I was wondering why I have never went into labor. Both of my children were born 42w2d.

I almost lost Alyssa due to stress from being induced. Then I did lose Dominic. I can't figure out WHY my body won't go into labor. My son was dead in me for 2 days and not even the slightest twitch in my uterus. I totally would try a VBA2C if I went into labor before 40 weeks. MY OB wants to do the rest of my c/s at 38 weeks. I am thinking about telling him I want to wait until at least 39 weeks, hoping I would go into labor. I can't risk going past again. I will not lose another baby. What am I doing wrong? I feel like I am being punished. I feel like I killed my son waiting to go into labor. I had so much faith in my body and it betrayed me. I am so mad at myself. Can you really not go into labor???? I don't trust my own body anymore. I feel betrayed.

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  #2  
December 15th, 2007, 08:48 PM
KBeans's Avatar Believe in your body
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((((hugs)))) sweetie.

i really don't know, there's got to be more to it than you just don't go into labor. there may be a condition or a problem that is going undetected. so many women go through things medically, only to end up with no answers, then 20 years later they do studies and find out what could have been the problem all along. unfortunately it takes people going through these situations in order to realize that there is even a problem at all.

im so sorry for this loss, and im so sorry for that betrayal you feel. i am going through my own fears right now as well. im so scared i will just not dilate. if that were to happen i would feel the same way as you do. although it would not cause a loss of my child, but it would cause a feeling of my body just failing me.

there are certainly medical situation where women need to have cesareans, and if i were in your situation, i would feel that was the best for me. you don't deserve another loss, you didn't deserve one to begin with. leann, you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. i think about you everyday. i pray for your healing and that something positive would come out of this sad loss, that this will be able to reach other people and that you would be able to use this experience to help others and yourself. (((((more and more hugs)))))
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  #3  
December 15th, 2007, 08:54 PM
Tofu Bacon
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I am so sorry and can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. Have they been able to pinpoint what may have happened to Dominic?
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  #4  
December 16th, 2007, 06:27 AM
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Even though we always say, "Everyone will go into labor eventually.", it's not always true. I have a cousin that couldn't deliver vaginally. She'd go into labor, but would never dilate, not even to a 1, so all 4 of her children were born via c-section. So, I truly believe that there are some situations where a woman just cannot give birth vaginally. I don't know if you are one of those women, but there is a very real possibility that there is something going on with your body, that just wont allow it. What that means for the future, no one can say. If I were in your shoes, I would think a c-section is the only way I would go....unless I went into labor before 38 1/2 weeks.

I can't even imagine what you are going through, and how frustrating it must be. I hope that someday, science will have some answers for you.
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  #5  
December 16th, 2007, 03:42 PM
SugarNSpice's Avatar VBAC Mommy!!!
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Aww LeAnn. ((hugs))

I don't even know what to say. I don't know why your body doesn't go into labor. I know that has to be very frusturating for you. Especially after you wanted to VBAC so bad and then what happened to sweet Dominic. I just can't imagine how that feels.
I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to go overdue again. In your situation, I wouldn't either. I mean, it sucks to not get the birth experience that you want. But having your baby safe and healthy is the ultimate goal. If you want to go for a VBA2C, then you definitely should check it out. But given your history with going so far overdue, I would just discuss it heavily w/ your doctor.
I hope whatever happens, you are able to have a good experience and a healthy baby next time because you of all people deserve it so much. We are here for you LeAnn!!!
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  #6  
December 17th, 2007, 11:43 AM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh, Leann! *hugs*

I think most people hate not knowing why things happen to them. There could be a medical reason that your body doesn't start the labor process. Equally possible is that what happened to you was a horrible chance in a million. Has your doctor given you any information? Unfortunately its hard to know how often this happens because in this country now not many women are "allowed" to go past 40 weeks.

There's a possibility that Dominic had a medical problem that nothing could have changed. An induced or surgical delivery might have been too much for him, and then you would have always wondered what would have happened if you'd waited for a natural vbac. We all know, and I hope you do too, that you made the best decision for your child with the information you had. That's all we get in life since none of us is omniscient. Having had this experience means that next time you are pregnant you have a different perspective from which to make that decision, and again whatever you decide will be what you think is best. It sucks but that's all that life is. You just have to make that decision and then hope for the best..

I hope you get the answer someday, but most of all I hope that you can find peace with what has happened to you along the way.
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  #7  
December 17th, 2007, 02:32 PM
itsymama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That's that hard thing about all this , there is still allot we don't know , the medical world is still just "thinking" they know what may signal the start of labor , they don't know what makes conception happen and many times when babies die before birth they don't know why . I'm sorry you feel so betrayed by your body , but your not doing anything wrong , and your not being punished and I hope that one day you can once again trust your body , even to the point of carrying a healthy baby to term but just not past .

I wish there were better answers for you , that things could get figured out of why this happened and why you don't seem to go into labor at all , the what if's in life and the unknown can be so hard to deal with , and it must be esp hard when you have been through what you have .

I hope that if you do have another baby that you can have peace during that pregnancy , and that whatever you would choose to do for the birth that you have a healthy lil babe .
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