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OK, TTC is a lot of hard work and stress. Eddy and I were so stressed out in the beginning it created some issues for us. Because of that we instituted a fun type policy. We plan date nights, we plan massage nights, we set nights up to try something new etc. Keep it fun. As a result our bedroom life and our marriage in general is healthier than it ever was. We haven't felt BDing was a chore in a couple years, and always look forward to it. I sense a lot of tension around here, understandabley so. And I thought these couples need to have some relaxing fun time.
So I challenge you ladies, Plan a fun night sometime in the next two weeks (save those of you whose DH is deployed then plan it for homecoming). Every couple has thier own special things they like to do, and don't underestimate trying something new. The point is to enjoy each other and have fun, not to get pregnant. Don't worry about proper positions, or standing on your head or any of that. Post your ideas and let us know how it went afterwards. And if you have kids, you can plan it for after they go to bed, we do it all the time.
We plan them every two weeks. And we also plan little fun nights in between. here are some of our ideas if anyone needs some inspiration:
1. Eddy's Birthday night. We had a 3 hour rule system. For the first hour no touching any "good" spots. For the second hour good spots are ok, but no BD and no "O"ing. And the third hour, Anything goes! This sounds like a bit much, but it went by so fast and we were having so much fun we extended the time to two hours for the first rule, and we did a lot of snuggling and massage and stuff. We are still giddy over that night two months later.
2. Try something new night. We do this one spontaneously. I will call him at work and say Tonight lets do something we haven't done before. Or I will do a google search on spicing things up and find something to try to surprise him with. The important thing though is if you are wanting to try anything "out of the norm" to communicate about it beforehand, everyone has different tastes. Also another tip would be don't be embarassed. We have tried things that sounded like great ideas on the internet and ended up laughing with each other, either way it creates great memories.
3. Massage night, I have no idea how to give a massage, but with a little massage oil just about anything feels good, the idea is to have fun. I totally wing it and it makes him happy everytime. He has taken a therapeutic massage class, so I am always in heaven. We buy KY jelly brand massage oil, it is warming but doesn't leave you greasy. It is the best and we have tried a lot of them. but thier mint one isn't great. BTW even though it is KY brand massage oil, it is NOT lube and it is NOT for the more intimate spots, despite what the bottle says, just trust me, don't ask how I know.....
4. Expensive Date night. This one we do a few times a year you need a babysitter for this one if you have kids. Put aside a lump of money and have an all out night. Go to a favorite restaurant, or plan a romantic meal at home. But a new nightgown (doesn't have to be lingerie, just a pretty one that you can reuse after that). Snuggle with a movie, or put on music and chat. And just do whatever comes up. Believe it or not a couple of these we never got around to BDing. But we always had a Great time, and are refreshed and relaxed afterwards.
Here is our last expensive date night, we bought a bunch of finger foods for a romantic time, we snacked and chatted for 4 hours at the table right at home.
OK, Those are some of our favorite things to do. Keep in mind it is all about mindset. You have to think of it as special time, and make it special time. No talking about stressful things. Compliments are always good, and just have the goal of making your partner feel great. They should also have that goal for you, and it works. And if any ladies have any good ideas for date nights let me know by all means, we are always looking for new ideas..
My date night last night (for my bday) was a huge success! We ate out, and then we took a trip to the "big people toy store". We already spotted what we want to get for our next date night. Body paint, LOL it is flavored, sounds like a lot of fun. We are not small people so lots of room for art! Then came home and snuggled and talked about all sorts of random things. Then I got a nice long massage, and I gave a small one back just because. And you know what comes next, and then we snuggled more, and then I forget cause we must have fallen asleep.
I just ordered a few things from Pure Romance, I got the vibrating hairbrush (hey, my hair needs it! lol actually I love it when DH brushes/combs my hair so this is a guilty pleasure of mine) and I got a little coupon book to stick with DH's birthday present in June... I'm sure he'll go through those rather quickly lmao
Now, to just hide the box from DH! Unless I get lucky and he's working a day shift when it arrives, he's usually the one to greet UPS (we usually have a pretty blonde, so I let him enjoy ) Maybe I can convince him that the hairbrush is all I ordered and try to hide the book deep in the packing material.
Tabitha & Ryan; Married on Saturday, April 17, 2004 -TTC #1 for 7.5 years. Missing our Angels...
Dx with PCOS at age 14.
Miscarriage in June 2006
2 cycles of Clomid 50mg
1 cycle of Clomid 100mg resulting in miscarriage
Dx with Adenomyosis on 1/28/10
Clomid 150mg 4/30(day 3) - 5/4(day 5) Ultrasound on May 10th.
5/10 - Ultrasound showed 2 perfect follies! (15mm&17mm) Ovulation predicted within 6 days! Progesterone check ordered for 5/20.
5/27 - New round of Clomid started, no ultrasound this cycle, 2 more cycles planned on our own. If no bfp, onto next step!
6/27 - Round 3 Clomid 150mg started.
7/25 - AF Showed, starting final round of Clomid 150mg on CD3
8/21- AF Showed, In the process of finding a new RE
*Waiting to see our new RE