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  #1  
May 26th, 2008, 03:03 PM
Kobain's Mommy's Avatar Future A&M Aggies Mommy
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I think I'm going to be leaving... Brian just called and told me he's not going to be getting his two week R&R. They gave it to someone else. I'm at the point I'm starting to believe there's no god. There's something in this universe that is against me. I can't take any more this year. It will be beyond hard to come here and see all of you at least trying when all I'm doing is sitting here doing nothing. I can't even take a break without preventing. Let alone seeing the graduates. I have noting to hold on to hope for. The soonest I'll even be able to see him is in January and I already told him I know he'll be extended over there.

I've cried so much in the past 2 hours tears won't even come anymore and I got a bloody nose too.

Good Luck to all of you
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  #2  
May 26th, 2008, 03:50 PM
Carmela's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry he didn't get his leave. Are you still going to keep your appointment next month? We are going to miss you around here, but we all understand you have to do what is best for your own sanity.
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  #3  
May 26th, 2008, 04:39 PM
Brenda04's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry hun, We are going to miss you around here but like Carmela said, you have to do what is best for you and we totally understand.


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  #4  
May 26th, 2008, 04:51 PM
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Awe, I am gonna miss you, I got to know you the best! Take a break as long as you need, and collect your thoughts. And by all means come back anytime for suport or just to have someone to talk to.
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  #5  
May 26th, 2008, 05:06 PM
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  #6  
May 26th, 2008, 05:20 PM
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I know sorry isn't enough and it isn't going to bring your hubby home but do know that we will miss you a lot! I hope that you come by to update us!
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  #7  
May 26th, 2008, 05:37 PM
Kobain's Mommy's Avatar Future A&M Aggies Mommy
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I am so sorry he didn't get his leave. Are you still going to keep your appointment next month? We are going to miss you around here, but we all understand you have to do what is best for your own sanity.[/b]

My friend and Brian said to still go to it, but I honestly don't see the point. I've lost any hope I had. I had it riding on the fact I'd get to see him for 2 weeks, but now that's gone with my hope to. I'm at the point I should just come to the fact that we'll never have kids and get used to that. There's something in the universe that doesn't want me to have one and it's becoming quite obvious to me.
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  #8  
May 26th, 2008, 06:04 PM
Delekatala's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Quote:
I am so sorry he didn't get his leave. Are you still going to keep your appointment next month? We are going to miss you around here, but we all understand you have to do what is best for your own sanity.[/b]

My friend and Brian said to still go to it, but I honestly don't see the point. I've lost any hope I had. I had it riding on the fact I'd get to see him for 2 weeks, but now that's gone with my hope to. I'm at the point I should just come to the fact that we'll never have kids and get used to that. There's something in the universe that doesn't want me to have one and it's becoming quite obvious to me.
[/b]
I know it doesn't make it feel better now, but go anyhow. Really january plus a little extension isn't forever, even though it feels that way. So maybe something doesn't want it right now, but when the time comes you will wish you had gone. Remember i took over a year break because of my diabetes, and look at me I am here now. it felt like it would never come, but it did. Waiting is the hardest part, but that wait will go by quicker than you think. Just find soem hobbys to keep you busy, and spend time with your friend, and find out what all your issues are in the meantime, and when he does finally return home you are all set to go!
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  #9  
May 26th, 2008, 06:48 PM
Kobain's Mommy's Avatar Future A&M Aggies Mommy
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I am so sorry he didn't get his leave. Are you still going to keep your appointment next month? We are going to miss you around here, but we all understand you have to do what is best for your own sanity.[/b]

My friend and Brian said to still go to it, but I honestly don't see the point. I've lost any hope I had. I had it riding on the fact I'd get to see him for 2 weeks, but now that's gone with my hope to. I'm at the point I should just come to the fact that we'll never have kids and get used to that. There's something in the universe that doesn't want me to have one and it's becoming quite obvious to me.
[/b]
I know it doesn't make it feel better now, but go anyhow. Really january plus a little extension isn't forever, even though it feels that way. So maybe something doesn't want it right now, but when the time comes you will wish you had gone. Remember i took over a year break because of my diabetes, and look at me I am here now. it felt like it would never come, but it did. Waiting is the hardest part, but that wait will go by quicker than you think. Just find soem hobbys to keep you busy, and spend time with your friend, and find out what all your issues are in the meantime, and when he does finally return home you are all set to go!
[/b]

I haven't seen him since the end of March and that was only for "4" days including his travel time... Before that I hadn't see him since January... I don't know if I can make it 8 months without seeing him. I don't work during the summer, so what was going to keep me going was getting ready for him to come home... But now I don't even want to do that. Today I started off going through all the stuff I had for when we had a baby. After I got off the phone with him I threw it all into the spare room. I don't want to even look at it. It just reminds me of what I'll never have.
I'm almost at the point of gearing myself up for the Chaplin and rear detachment officer to come knocking at my door telling me he was KIA.
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  #10  
May 26th, 2008, 10:46 PM
ashleighgurl's Avatar Loving Wife and Mommy
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Oh, hun .. Try not to think like that! I can only imagine how hard this is for you. My fiance is not in the military, but my father was and a few of my friends are. I have seen how hard it is for their families, and we are all here for you. I hope that you keep your appointment. And, I hope that you do everything to try to not lose hope. That is so hard, I know. I wish you the best. Take your time. If you need a break from coming here, we will all understand.
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  #11  
May 27th, 2008, 11:25 PM
nikas_mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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  #12  
May 28th, 2008, 05:33 AM
Kobain's Mommy's Avatar Future A&M Aggies Mommy
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Everyone keeps telling me to go. I haven't canceled the appointment yet. I was talking to his Sargent's girlfriend last night. She told me to go talk to my supervisor to get the time off if he can get R&R in September or October. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to get my hopes up again.
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  #13  
May 28th, 2008, 07:16 AM
Delekatala's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Least you can do is try. think of it this way, if it doesnt work you are in the same place you are now. But if it does he gets r&R and you see him and you are better off. Nothing to lose so to speak. Go into it with the idea in your head he won't be able to get it, that way your hopes wont be up to much.
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  #14  
May 28th, 2008, 10:11 AM
ZaydensMomma's Avatar Aaron Nicole
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I totally know how you feel. I'm from a military family. It's hard when they are overseas.
I would go to the appointment to make sure my body is all figured out before he comes home. KWIM? If there's something wrong with you, then you can fix it before he comes home in January.
I would do EVERYTHING in my power to ask any supervisors to beg for him to come home.
My step brother's GF is due in Oct and he's leaving for Iraq this Oct. There are many women who are going through the same deal as you are. Don't think negative about never having kids. You were able to get PG so look at the bright side!
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  #15  
May 28th, 2008, 12:33 PM
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I'm so sorry. I truly hate the military some times. It can be a vicous bi-otch. I'm sorry you have to go through that.
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  #16  
May 28th, 2008, 05:22 PM
Kobain's Mommy's Avatar Future A&M Aggies Mommy
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He called and I have no hope for seeing him for the next 8 months. We were told that the E4s and below would be getting it. Well he's an E4 and not. YET he noticed there were a bunch of E5s on the list which ironically are MPs (He's in a Military Police unit but is not an MP, which the MPs see to be getting favored over there.). To me these are just signs that I'm not supposed to have a child.

I emailed the state representative but I honestly don't think it will do one bit of good. Nothing will change. I'll still be screwed, childless and alone. He wants kids and I'm honestly at the point of telling him that I love him so much that I'd understand if he wanted to divorce me to find someone that can have kids.
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  #17  
May 28th, 2008, 06:20 PM
Brenda04's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sorry you are going trough all this, I hope their was some words I could tell you to make you feel better. All I can tell you is that you need to stay positive even in the worst times, I know we have all been at the point of wanting to give up forever but at the end we know what we really want, I really think you should keep your appointment and figure out what is wrong, Your husband will eventually come home and if you loose your appointment know you are just going to set back yourself even more. I really don't think offering your DH a divorce is the best thing to do, I'm sure he is aware of the problem and he is w/you because he loves you, now a days their is so many options out there that you can try, think about this weather you go to the doc or not you still have to wait for you DH, and if you can fix what is wrong then you will have good news when he comes back.
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  #18  
May 28th, 2008, 07:42 PM
Kobain's Mommy's Avatar Future A&M Aggies Mommy
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I have a feeling that the RE will either tell me they won't do anything till he's home, which we can't afford when he comes home. Or they will tell me that we need to do IUD or IVF which once again we can't afford. I convinced my primary to do the referral by saying DH would be home for the 2 weeks and the REs here are very picky. They get mad if they get a referral and the couple has been trying less than a year. I'm afraid I go and get my hopes up once again for them to just reject me.

It feels like I can't give DH what he wants so badly. He tries to say he doesn't want one that bad but when I see him with my friend's kids I know how badly he wants one.
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  #19  
May 28th, 2008, 09:16 PM
nikas_mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You know, I'd keep the appointment, because DH's appointment is the easiest - his is done super fast vs you, you might have to go through several appointments. I know a lot of REs like to have the sperm analysis done before you get an HSG and stuff, but because of your circumstances, I am pretty sure that they'll skip over that and go ahead and schedule that stuff to make up for the time you are losing. They have no proof that you weren't trying for well over a year straight just because your DH is deployed right now. Your RE doesn't have to know that for sure he's not coming back for a visit, KWIM?
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  #20  
May 28th, 2008, 10:23 PM
Brenda04's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You know, I'd keep the appointment, because DH's appointment is the easiest - his is done super fast vs you, you might have to go through several appointments. I know a lot of REs like to have the sperm analysis done before you get an HSG and stuff, but because of your circumstances, I am pretty sure that they'll skip over that and go ahead and schedule that stuff to make up for the time you are losing. They have no proof that you weren't trying for well over a year straight just because your DH is deployed right now. Your RE doesn't have to know that for sure he's not coming back for a visit, KWIM?[/b]
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