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So upset :(


Forum: Trying to Conceive 1 Year +

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  #1  
November 10th, 2010, 01:18 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,699
Ugh. So ever since we found out that DH has severely low sperm count back in June, I have basically had no hope that I will get pregnant again. I allow myself a *little* hope that the varicocele surgery he had in September will work, but it takes at least 3 months for that to work and for new sperm to form so I had like zilch hope of getting pregnant before December at the very earilest. We've still been half-heartedly casually TTC and BDing when I'm fertile, but neither I nor DH expect anything out of it. I haven't even been sad when AF showed up for months. I mean overall, I'm sad every.single.day. that I'm not pregnant and probably never will be again, but AF showing up doesn't really make me any sadder than I am on any other day, ya know? I totally expect her to come. No big deal. It's been alot easier not having any hope, and getting a way from the month-to-month disappointment of finding out I'm not pregnant. I just assume I'm not pregnant and go on my way.

So WHY did this have to happen!? On Sunday, which was 7DPO for me, I had a tiny bit of reddish brown spotting in my underwear, a little smaller than the size of a dime. I am not a spotter. I do not spot. Never. There was only that one time and nothing else. I'm now 10DPO. I KNOW I'm not pregnant. I feel exactly like I always do at this point in my cycle. I always have this weird sciatic pain before AF and I have that. I'm just so mad that I had that stupid spotting b/c it did give me hope for maybe half a day. So now when AF shows I am going to be really sad, after months of her showing up not really even bothering me

Honestly, I don't have low progesterone so the only possible explanation for that spotting that I can come up with is implantation spotting, but I KNOW I'm not pregnant. I never am and I really feel like AF is going to show in a few days. I'm just so upset that this had to happen. The last thing I need is false hope. If I'm not pregnant I don't want to have even the slightest inkling of hope that I could be. DH and I are moving towards adoption and I just don't need this stupid false hope if nothing is ever going to happen
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  #2  
November 10th, 2010, 01:32 PM
PregnantAtLast's Avatar Loving my baby boy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Huddersfield, UK
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  #3  
November 10th, 2010, 02:25 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Palm Coast, FL
Posts: 1,604
Send a message via AIM to Coley54
I know that feeling all too well...our bodies are so mean to us. Hugs hun.
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IUI#1 - BFN
IUI#2 - BFN
IUI#3 - BFN
IUI#4 - BFN



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  #4  
November 10th, 2010, 02:37 PM
ETanny's Avatar Mamma 2 Moo & Pops
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Location: Hull
Posts: 19,770
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Im sorry you feel so sad hun xx
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  #5  
November 10th, 2010, 02:51 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 995
Sending lots of your way! Hang in there!
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  #6  
November 10th, 2010, 03:41 PM
Marieke's Avatar Mommy to an angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,420
So sorry
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TTC since August 2008
6 IUIs:

IVF #1 (september 2012): 11 eggs, none fertilized, no transfer
IVF ICSI #1 (may 2013), 1 blastocyst: (m/c 7 weeks )
FET #1 (october 2013), 1 blastocyst:

IVF ICSI #2 (april 2014): 5 eggs, 4 fertilized, 2 bad quality embryos, no transfer
IVF ICSI #2.1 (coming soon)
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  #7  
November 10th, 2010, 04:59 PM
OurSweetLabs's Avatar I LOVE My Boys!!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 11,003
Oh Sweetie,

Our bodies are so so cruel to us sometimes. I am so sorry that yours is giving you a hard time
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  #8  
November 11th, 2010, 11:12 AM
acchickpea's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,311
Agreed! Our bodies are so mean to us..... Just not fair.
HUGS..... KUP.
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  #9  
November 11th, 2010, 03:23 PM
MEG282's Avatar Soon to be Mommy of 2!
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 835
I have gone thru that before, it is horrible how our bodies "trick" us! For myself, as much as I tell myself I am not I still have that glimmer of hope in the back of my head that I might be! Hang in there! Thinking of you!
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  #10  
November 12th, 2010, 04:55 AM
Regular
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 61
Hugs! Definitely know the feeling.
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  #11  
November 12th, 2010, 08:27 AM
Christina33's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: MS
Posts: 1,322
So sorry Hun
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