We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
Ugh. So ever since we found out that DH has severely low sperm count back in June, I have basically had no hope that I will get pregnant again. I allow myself a *little* hope that the varicocele surgery he had in September will work, but it takes at least 3 months for that to work and for new sperm to form so I had like zilch hope of getting pregnant before December at the very earilest. We've still been half-heartedly casually TTC and BDing when I'm fertile, but neither I nor DH expect anything out of it. I haven't even been sad when AF showed up for months. I mean overall, I'm sad every.single.day. that I'm not pregnant and probably never will be again, but AF showing up doesn't really make me any sadder than I am on any other day, ya know? I totally expect her to come. No big deal. It's been alot easier not having any hope, and getting a way from the month-to-month disappointment of finding out I'm not pregnant. I just assume I'm not pregnant and go on my way.
So WHY did this have to happen!? On Sunday, which was 7DPO for me, I had a tiny bit of reddish brown spotting in my underwear, a little smaller than the size of a dime. I am not a spotter. I do not spot. Never. There was only that one time and nothing else. I'm now 10DPO. I KNOW I'm not pregnant. I feel exactly like I always do at this point in my cycle. I always have this weird sciatic pain before AF and I have that. I'm just so mad that I had that stupid spotting b/c it did give me hope for maybe half a day. So now when AF shows I am going to be really sad, after months of her showing up not really even bothering me
Honestly, I don't have low progesterone so the only possible explanation for that spotting that I can come up with is implantation spotting, but I KNOW I'm not pregnant. I never am and I really feel like AF is going to show in a few days. I'm just so upset that this had to happen. The last thing I need is false hope. If I'm not pregnant I don't want to have even the slightest inkling of hope that I could be. DH and I are moving towards adoption and I just don't need this stupid false hope if nothing is ever going to happen
__________________ Joyful Mama to 2 Sweet little boys
I have gone thru that before, it is horrible how our bodies "trick" us! For myself, as much as I tell myself I am not I still have that glimmer of hope in the back of my head that I might be! Hang in there! Thinking of you!